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The news came on Iruka’s lunch break. He looked up from his desk as quiet descended on the Teacher’s Lounge. One look at the uniform of the stranger standing in the doorway was all it took. Iruka’s stomach plummeted. He felt cold, like the ice had cracked beneath him, sending him plummeting into freezing water. He set down his chopsticks and stood. Eyes followed him as he silently crossed the room. The sympathetic glances continued, all the way to the Hokage’s office. He hadn’t realized until now just how many people knew, despite Kakashi and Iruka’s attempts to keep their relationship a secret.

Tsunade’s face was ashen. She looked like she hadn’t slept much. Iruka felt the same. Kakashi had been gone for three months on a mission that should have taken one, maybe two.

“Can I get you anything?” Shizune asked.

Iruka shook his head. With a nod to the Hokage, Shizune left and shut the door behind her, leaving Iruka and Tsunade alone in the room. Tsunade’s eyes fixed on him. Iruka thought he saw a trace of sympathy behind her steely gaze.

“You and Kakashi were close.”

It wasn’t a question, but Iruka responded as if it had been. “Yes.”

“How long?”

“Two years. Roughly.” They’d been sleeping together for longer, but they’d only been officially together for a little over two years.

Tsunade nodded. She scribbled something on the top sheet of the file open in front of her. “What was your level of involvement?”

Iruka licked his lips as he considered how to answer. “Deep.” That was the only way he could think to describe it without incriminating himself or Kakashi. He knew, on Kakashi’s end at least, if not his own, that it went further than that. They were in love, so deep in love that they’d die for each other, would have broken the law for each other. He wasn’t sure there was a word for that. Briefly, he wondered if that was why he was here.

“And his?”

“Deeper.” The way Tsunade watched him left little doubt in Iruka’s mind. She knew. It was possible that she understood Kakashi’s devotion better than Iruka did. Part of him still wanted to deny it, to deny that there was any chance that Kakashi could be disloyal to the village, because if he admitted that to himself, if he acknowledged it, then he’d have to take the blame for it as well.

A faint hope sparked in his chest that maybe Kakashi had done something, maybe he had gone Missing and that was why he hadn’t come back yet. Iruka felt bad for even thinking it. The last thing he wanted was for Kakashi to turn traitor, and he couldn’t think of any reason at all for him to do so, but it was better than the other possibility staring him in the fact, a possibility that he didn’t want to think about and yet he knew was the far more likely reason Iruka was here.

Iruka knew that Kakashi hadn’t turned into a Missing-nin. He would have heard about it by now if Kakashi had. No, the real reason that Kakashi wasn’t back yet was because he was either injured, captured, or dead, none of which Iruka wanted to think on too deeply.

Tsunade was watching him, closely, and Iruka wondered how much of his thoughts she’d gleaned from the expression on his face. “How much do you know about his last mission?”

“Not much.” He wasn’t supposed to know anything, and admitting that he knew something was also admitting that Kakashi had broken confidentiality to tell Iruka about the mission. “He was tracking someone. He was only supposed to be gone a month or two.”

Tsunade nodded and made another note. She closed the file. “He was tracking a spy. Someone had broken into the Council records and stolen information about several of the ninja in our village. Kakashi’s file was one of the ones taken. As was yours.” Tsunade paused, her eyes once more fixed on Iruka. “Did he mention anything about this to you?”

Iruka quickly shook his head. Kakashi had mentioned before that he had a lot of enemies, enemies that would use Iruka and anyone else that Kakashi loved to get revenge. That was why they’d tried to keep their relationship secret. Not secret enough, apparently.

“Two weeks ago we lost contact with his team. We’ve sent ANBU out to search.”

Iruka nodded again because he couldn’t speak.

“Their last report stated that they’d found the spy and were investigating if he’d had any accomplices. Kakashi had been ordered to bring the spy back for questioning. He had refused.”

“Am I in danger?” Iruka asked.

Tsunade’s face was a hard mask. Silence stretched between them for several minutes. “I’ll arrange for someone to cover the rest of your classes. Go home. Rest.”

Iruka took that as both affirmation and dismissal. He stood, bowed, and turned to leave.

“Iruka.” He paused with his hand on the doorknob. “Until further notice, you are not to leave the village for any reason. I’ve ordered extra patrols.”

He nodded, though he doubted she could see it. The message hidden in the words was clear – we’ll protect you as long as you’re here. He only hoped they offered the same protection to Kakashi, assuming he was still alive.

“Thank you.”

Tsunade said nothing as he left. The silence only made Kakashi’s absence feel all the more ominous.

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