Dec 28 2009

Thorns Have Roses

This was not going to end well. Kakashi slowly lowered his book and glared at the special jounin standing in front of him. Genma was lucky that Kakashi considered him a friend, and that they’d been friends since they were both teenagers, otherwise Genma would have gone through the wall by now. He straightened himself up to his full height.

“Would you care to repeat that?”

“We,” Genma started, gesturing to the two jounin standing in line behind him. Their terrified looks and vehement head-shaking suggested that Genma’s ‘we’ was really an ‘I’. “…thought that you might have been having certain… problems. You know, in that area. ‘Cause, you know, it’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone. I mean, a really long while, and you’re always reading that porn so we thought…”

This was not the kind of conversation that Kakashi wanted to have on the way back home from a very long mission. It was not the kind of conversation that he’d particularly imagined himself having, ever, but he knew, logically, that his nerves were a bit frayed at the moment, so any gut reaction he went with would probably be considered rash. Even if it was justified. Even if it was really tempting and deserved on Genma’s part and the other two jounin who’d accompanied them on their mission – and had to suffer through Genma’s antics along with Kakashi for the last two weeks – would probably thank him for it. But, he didn’t want to be put on psychiatric leave for injuring a teammate in a non-combat situation. Again.

Come to think of it, last time he’d been forced on leave, Genma had been the instigator then as well.

He forced himself to remain calm and rational. Thanks to the mask obscuring his face, he doubted the other jounin had any idea that he was even aggravated. “So you thought that because I read porn all the time and haven’t dated anyone recently…” How long had it been? Maybe it had been a bit too long if he couldn’t even remember the last person he’d fucked. “…that I’m impotent.”

He remembered the last time he jacked off, at least, which wasn’t that hard to do considering it’d been the morning before they’d left for their mission. He even remembered the person he’d been thinking about while doing it, but that was also easy considering he had a particular favorite.

Umino Iruka would probably kill him if he knew.

Genma shrugged easily and nodded, seemingly unaware of how close he was to a brutal maiming. Kakashi mentally sighed. No, not a brutal maiming. He did like Genma after all. Sometimes. When he wasn’t being a dick, which really narrowed the time frame down significantly. Maybe he could get away with just a little maiming, something that would heal pretty easily. He could even do the healing himself. No one would have to know.

“More or less.”

He continued to glare, though it had slightly less effect with only one eye visible. “I’m not. I can get it up just fine, thank you.” He probably would be getting it up later that night. It’d been a long mission, with not a lot of privacy and a fair amount of stress.

“Prove it,” Genma challenged.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? You want me to just whip it out right here?” He wasn’t sure he was quite comfortable with that, but he didn’t let a single trace of apprehension show.

Genma shot him a disgusted look. “Eww. No. I don’t want to see that. It’s probably shriveled.” Kakashi started mentally listing off all the heroines in the Icha Icha novels in reverse order in an effort to control his temper. “No, I bet you a week’s worth of Ichiraku that you can’t get laid.”

He was starting to wonder if Genma had gotten hit on the head a few too many times during their mission. “That’s it? Just have sex?” That wouldn’t be too hard. He just had to figure out someone to have sex with. It was a big village. He’d find someone.

Iruka was sitting behind the table at the front of the mission room, two other chuunin flanking him. Kakashi’s eyes fixed on him. A smile spread across his face as he watched Iruka berate the youngster currently handing in a report, though his voice was too low compared to the chatter of the waiting crowd to make out what he was saying. Probably berating the kid for poor grammar. Kakashi winced in sympathy, remembering the first of his reports to go through the chuunin teacher.

“And your partner has to be satisfied. It has to be good sex. There’ll be an interview.”

He snorted, picturing the likely outcome of such questioning versus Iruka. Genma probably would go through a wall, and it wouldn’t be Kakashi doing it. “Good luck with that. What’s the time frame?”

The line slowly moved forward.

“A week. Prostitutes, exes, and bathhouse attendants do not count. Nor does your hand.”

“Funny.” His voice dripped daggers. “Two weeks. Some dates need wooing.”

His eyes stayed on Iruka. It was a stupid idea. It was a bad idea, but it was the kind of idea that, once planted, refused to leave his head. The person in front of Genma was handing in their report. Iruka barely glanced at it, stamped it, and then set it in a bin behind him for filing. Kakashi sometimes wished his reports were so disregarded. It’d be better than having Iruka scowling at him all the time.

The chuunin to Iruka’s right opened up and Genma quickly moved up to hand in his report. Kakashi grinned widely as he stepped up to Iruka and handed his own report. The chuunin raised an eyebrow and accepted the scroll cautiously.

“You’re… on time.” Iruka was staring at him suspiciously.

Kakashi continued to grin. He’d gotten so caught up with not killing Genma that he’d forgotten about his customary tardiness. He took back his earlier thought. He didn’t want Iruka to disregard him, not when riling him up was so much fun.

“Miracles do happen,” Kakashi quipped.

Iruka scanned the scroll contents critically and then stamped it.

There was a saying about how if you’re gonna die, you should go out in a blaze of glory. Kakashi kept that thought firmly in his mind as he leaned across the table and dropped his voice low.

“Hey, Iruka-sensei, wanna have dinner later?”

The chuunin’s head shot up so fast Kakashi wondered if the other man had just given himself whiplash. He stared at Kakashi for a long moment, his cheeks slowly heating, no doubt with rage. Genma was staring at him like he’d turned purple and sprouted spines.

“A-all right.”

Kakashi blinked. He stared. Iruka stared back. He looked like he was going to add something, but the words never formed. That had not been the answer he’d expected to hear, but he wasn’t going to complain about his momentary fortune even if he really had no idea what to do with it.

Maybe there were benefits to being on time after all.

He straightened. “Off at five?”

“Six.”

“See you then.”

He gave a backwards wave as he walked out. The room had gone deathly quiet but he ignored that, acting casual despite the fact that every person in the room was staring between him and Iruka. He continued the act until he was halfway to his apartment. A thought occurred to him. He had no idea what Iruka liked. Naruto had babbled incessantly about his beloved Iruka-sensei, but at the time Kakashi hadn’t had the same sort of interest he now held. Namely, he hadn’t thought about trying to get into the teacher’s pants, and thus hadn’t paid attention to a single word.

“Fuck.”

This so was not going to end well.

*****

Iruka had no idea what he was doing. His entire evening was a blur. He barely remembered agreeing to go on a date with Hatake Kakashi. His mind kept getting stuck on those words – date, Kakashi – and refused to process beyond that. People didn’t ask to date him, especially not jounin people. He was just an ordinary chuunin, and not even a particularly attractive one at that, but as soon as Kakashi had asked him, the words had just leapt from his throat.

He wasn’t really sure where to go from here.

“Don’t like your ramen?”

Iruka blinked and looked over at Kakashi. His mask was still in place but his own food was gone. He couldn’t have been out of it for that long. He shook himself.

“What?” He glanced down at his own bowl. Steam rolled off the broth. “Oh. No. It’s fine.” A smile slowly stretched across his face. He was worrying too much. “Sorry. I zoned out.”

He had the feeling that Kakashi was smiling at him, but it was hard to tell with the mask and forehead protector blocking most of the jounin’s face. “Naruto?”

“Yeah,” he lied. He picked at his ramen in lieu of continuing.

Kakashi stared at the rows of bottles lined up on the other side of the bar. “Must be hard.” Iruka made a questioning noise in between bites. “I only knew him for a short while, but it still feels odd not having him around. You’re practically his father.” His gaze racked over Iruka’s form. “Maybe older brother. You must miss him.”

Iruka didn’t have to lie this time. He laid his chopsticks across his bowl, suddenly not as hungry as he had been. “It’s… difficult. I guess.” He sighed. “Yeah, I do miss him. A lot.”

He rolled one of the chopsticks across the lip of the bowl. He’d never really considering himself as a father, or any familiar relation, to Naruto, but now that he thought about it the idea stuck with him. It’d been a long time since he’d had a family, but Naruto came close. They’d both been orphaned by the Kyuubi attack. They both had been loners in their Academy classes, though Iruka at least had been liked to a point thanks to his pranks and antics. Iruka had grown past that, making friends among the chuunin and jounin even if none of them were overly close, and Naruto was in the process of growing out of it.

Maybe he’d have a talk with Naruto when he got back. It was silly that they both lived in separate apartments, paying two rents when they could be sharing one. Iruka had a bit of money saved up from the last bout of missions he’d been pulled out of teaching to run. He could afford to get someplace bigger, maybe even a proper house for the two of them.

“You’re doing it again,” Kakashi chided, though his voice conveyed clear mirth.

Iruka flushed with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry! I’m afraid I’m being terrible company tonight.”

“Not at all.” Kakashi’s head was propped on his hand. Belatedly, Iruka realized Kakashi had been staring at him this whole time. “It’s cute, the way you worry over him.”

Iruka was momentarily at a loss for words. His face was completely red. “I- I’m not. C-cute.”

Kakashi laughed. It was a pleasant sound, soft, warm. He wanted to hear it more.

Now that he actually looked, actually considered it, Kakashi was rather handsome. Iruka had no idea what his face looked like, but there was no sign of any real amount of scaring, at least not the kind that would warrant being covered. Not that Iruka really minded scars. Every ninja had them. Iruka certainly did, the worst of which were a reminder of a time he wished he could forget and of a person he probably never would.

“You are,” Kakashi said, clearly amused. His hand moved slowly forward, making its approach blatantly clear before it landed on Iruka’s ponytail, his fingers twisting in the loose ends of Iruka’s hair. “Are you done?” He nodded towards Iruka’s ramen.

“Yeah.” Iruka pushed the bowl towards the opposite edge of the bar.

“Want it to go?”

He shook his head. It’d only remind him of Naruto. In retrospect, ramen probably had been a bad choice for a first date.

Kakashi slid off his stool with the grace of a cat. He lingered close to Iruka. “Want to go for a walk?”

He looked down at his half-eaten bowl. Kakashi was giving him an out if he wanted it, and Iruka knew he should probably take it. He was bad with relationships. The end of his last one, with Mizuki, proved that. Logically, he knew Kakashi wouldn’t be like that, assuming Kakashi even liked him enough to go on a second date. Kakashi was loyal. He wouldn’t betray the village like Mizuki had and he was good to Naruto. Anything beyond that, Iruka could forgive.

“Yeah.” His smile found its way back onto his face. “I’d like that.”

The dinner crowd was dispersing and the night crowd just starting to gather. Darkness had fallen over the village while they’d been eating. Some of the shopkeepers had lit lanterns along the street, others were just starting to close up. Kakashi led the way, bypassing the center of the market district and its associated crowds and navigating his way through side streets.

They were walking through a residential district – that much was obvious from the slowly fading sounds. Apartment complexes gave way to small houses. As they walked, the houses got further and further apart, the buildings larger and larger until they disappeared entirely behind wood and brick walls. He recognized the vacant Uchiha compound in the distance, down one of the larger streets. He recognized most of the nameplates he passed, but some were unfamiliar, likely belonging to older families that were no longer active among Konoha’s ninja.

Kakashi turned down an alleyway suddenly, disappearing into the shadows instantly. Iruka almost walked past without realizing, but he stopped, hesitant to go forward when he could barely see his way. A gloved hand reached out from the shadows. Iruka took it without hesitation, strangely comforted by the feeling of Kakashi’s hand around his own and glad that the shadows hid his blush. They walked a short distance and then turned again, stepping out of the shadows into a small patch of light from a single, dim lantern set above a small door. Kakashi pushed it open with ease.

Panic suddenly welled up in Iruka. “What are you doing?” He hissed.

Kakashi just smiled and pulled Iruka into the walled-off compound. Iruka couldn’t help but stare. This section of town was home to some of the oldest and wealthiest families in Konohagure. Some, like the Uchiha compound, lay empty save for a handful of servants, waiting for their lone masters to return from missions. Most of the others were filled to the brim with people, bustling with the multitudes of some of the most prominent clans. There was no way of telling which of the two Kakashi had just led him into.

“Kakashi.” He dragged his feet and then thought better of it as the gravel beneath him shifted loudly. They were in a garden of some sort, though it was too dark to make out more than the vague shape of trees and bushes. “We shouldn’t be here.”

Kakashi’s laughter floated through the darkness. “It’s fine. I know the owner.”

His nervousness didn’t go away.

The path turned and they stepped out into a better lit portion of the garden where a few lanterns burnt dimly. Iruka felt a faint hint of chakra as they walked past the first of the lanterns. It reminded him of Kakashi.

At the end of the path was a small pond. Water flowed into the pond over a small outcropping of rocks, forming a miniature waterfall on the other side. Four small lights, barely more than a candle flame, were positioned around the pond, their light twinkling over the rippled surface of the water. There was a small, high-backed wooden bench placed in front of the pond. Kakashi led them to the bench and sat down, pulling Iruka down with him.

As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he could make out more of the garden. He smelt more than saw the flowers in bloom around them, and his imagination filled in the rest. It would have been a lovely sight during the daytime, full of color and life. He wondered if Kakashi’s mysterious friend would let them come back later to see them.

“Do you like it?” Kakashi asked suddenly.

Iruka smiled softly. “It’s beautiful.”

The jounin shifted slightly on the bench, leaning back and putting his arm around Iruka. The trickle of water was like a balm on his nerves. He relaxed into Kakashi’s embrace and let his head fall on Kakashi’s shoulders. Kakashi smelled like soap and weapon oil, sandalwood and a faint hint of dog. Iruka smiled. He could have gladly stayed here forever. The garden seemed so peaceful, like a small shelter removed from the pain of war and loss and loneliness, separated by layers of plants and a thick wall from the outside world.

“Kakashi?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. For asking me out. I had a good time, and I’m sorry if I was boring.”

Kakashi’s arm tightened around Iruka. His hand shifted down until it rested against his side. “You weren’t boring. I’m glad you had a good time.”

Iruka closed his eyes and listened to the faint noises of the garden. Kakashi’s breath tickled his hair. He could faintly hear Kakashi’s heartbeat. It sounded slightly fast but Iruka assumed that was just his mind playing tricks on him. He was comfortable, content. It was nice to be able to sit and relax for a while instead of constantly being busy teaching or collecting reports or grading or preparing new lessons. If Kakashi minded the quiet, he didn’t say anything. He supposed Kakashi probably enjoyed the quiet as a way to wind down after his last mission.

The sound of water falling lulled him to sleep.

*****

Two thoughts ran through Iruka’s head as he woke up. First, he was not in his bedroom but rather slept on a lavender-smelling futon in a traditionally decorated room. Second, he was likely late as hell for his morning class.

Iruka bolted upright. His clothes were wrinkled from sleeping in but they’d have to do for the day. Someone had removed his vest, sandals and forehead protector and left them folded at the foot of the futon. He ran his hands over the vest as he pulled it on, checking to make sure nothing was missing. Best to be safe rather than sorry when he had no idea where he was.

The door slid open. Iruka froze. His hand twitched towards the kunai in his vest pocket.

“Morning.” Kakashi grinned at him, or at least Iruka thought he was grinning, judging from the way his face wrinkled around his one visible eye.

Iruka slowly lowered his hand and relaxed. “G-good morning.” He felt slightly better in knowing that he wasn’t alone in this strange place.

Kakashi was dressed down. Instead of his usual uniform, he wore a plain black turtleneck with the neck pulled up to cover the lower half of his face. He looked somewhat adorable like that, like a kid wearing a grown-up’s clothing, and Iruka couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s 7:30. Do you have time for breakfast?”

Iruka blinked in surprise. He wasn’t late after all. Depending on where he was, he might even have time to swing home and change clothes.

“No, sorry.” He winced, regretting the words as they came out of his mouth. He really wished he could stay. “I’ll grab something along the way. Thank you, though. Really. For last night as well.”

He blushed as he remembered how horribly the night had gone. He’d enjoyed himself but he’d been so out of it, and then he’d had the gall to fall asleep on Kakashi. The jounin had probably been bored to death.

“I had a good time.” He couldn’t tell if Kakashi was lying or not. A large part of him really hoped Kakashi wasn’t lying.

Iruka smiled anyway. “I’m glad. I did too. I’m sorry I was so boring.”

“I wasn’t bored. I like quiet evenings. They balance things out.” Kakashi stepped aside in an obvious signal for Iruka to leave the room. “Let me walk you to the door.”

Words stuck on the tip of Iruka’s tongue. He wanted to say more, to apologize more, but he wasn’t sure if doing so would just hurt his chances of seeing Kakashi again. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and followed Kakashi through the house. Likely they were in one of the larger complexes that they’d walked past last night. He wondered if it was the same house as the friend who gave Kakashi free reign of his garden. Curiosity and propriety warred inside of him.

The morning sun was still relatively low on the horizon as they stepped outside. The rooftops of the neighboring houses were barely visible over the high wall surrounding the complex. Iruka couldn’t help but stare at the myriad of blooming flowers lining the gravel path to the front gate. Smaller trails broke off from the main path, disappearing into a maze of plants. He wondered if one of them led to the small pond Kakashi had shown him last night.

“Iruka.”

He turned towards Kakashi. They were almost at the main gate. He had a brief second to register the fact that Kakashi’s turtleneck had been pulled down to expose his face and that the jounin was really very handsome, and then Kakashi’s lips were pressing against his in a brief, soft kiss. All he could do was stare as Kakashi pulled back. He was smiling. The expression looked good on his face. Iruka wanted to see it again.

Kakashi started to pull up his shirt back up over his face.

“Wait.”

Kakashi paused and raised an eyebrow in question. Iruka shifted closer, gravel scattering under his feet. He wrapped his arms slowly around Kakashi’s neck and stretch up to bridge the distance between them. Kakashi’s kiss had been chaste. Iruka’s was less so. He slipped his tongue past parted lips and encouraged Kakashi to similarly explore Iruka’s mouth. Kakashi responded instantly, taking control of the kiss from Iruka and settling his hands low on Iruka hips.

The jounin looked suitably mussed when Iruka pulled away. He watched Iruka closely.

“Recompense for last night,” Iruka explained with a slightly sheepish smile.

“You didn’t have to.” Kakashi’s hands ran along his sides for a brief moment before he pulled away reluctantly. “Have a good day at work. I’ll stop by later.”

Iruka couldn’t help the blush that crossed his face at the thought. “I’d like that, and I wanted to. Kiss you. I mean…” His face heated further and he gave up on trying to explain himself. “I’ll see you later.” Kakashi pulled his mask up. Iruka glanced at the gate, suddenly reluctant to leave. “Did you want to go out again? Not necessarily tonight, but… sometime. I promise to be less boring.”

“I would.” Kakashi was smiling at him. Iruka’s mind overlaid the picture of Kakashi’s lips over the turtleneck.

“Great.” Iruka suddenly felt lighter. He grinned and pulled open the door. “Bye.”

Kakashi waved at him but didn’t move as Iruka pulled the door closed. As he turned to leave he caught sight of the nameplate next to the gate. Hatake. Iruka bit back an embarrassed groan and quickly turned towards his apartment. Sometimes, he was a complete idiot but right now he couldn’t bring himself to mind too much.

He had another date with Hatake Kakashi, a man who was a fierce and loyal ninja, a handsome jounin, and a fantastic kisser. He had a good feeling about Kakashi. It would be easy to lose his heart to the jounin, and after a couple more dates – well, maybe they’d see what happened.

Nothing was going to get him down today.

*****

True to his word, Iruka did indeed see Kakashi later in the day. He first noticed the jounin slightly before lunchtime, lounging in the tree outside Iruka’s classroom with a familiar orange book in his hands. He stumbled through the rest of the morning’s lesson before giving up and letting the kids out early for lunch. They could catch up in the afternoon. Iruka stared at Kakashi as the children ran out of the room.

His feet moved automatically through the Academy halls and out onto the lawn. Some of the children glanced his way as he passed, but most were too busy playing or eating. He stopped at the base of the tree. Kakashi smiled down at him and closed his book. The jounin slid off the tree branch. Iruka admired the way Kakashi landed lightly next to him, his feet hitting the ground as if he’d rolled out of bed rather than jumped out of a tree.

“Hi,” Kakashi said.

“Hi.”

“Would you like some lunch?” Kakashi pointed to a brown paper bag partially hidden behind the tree. Iruka blamed a certain distracting jounin for the fact that he hadn’t seen it when he first approached.

“You didn’t have to bring me lunch.”

“Of course not.” Kakashi sat and slid the bag closer. “I wanted to.”

Iruka blushed, suddenly very glad that his back was to his students so that they wouldn’t see him so flustered. Iruka started to sit opposite Kakashi.

“You could sit next to me, you know.” Kakashi’s visible eye twinkled merrily.

He felt like his face was about to combust from sheer embarrassment. “I-I can’t. What if my students were watching?”

Kakashi’s gaze heated. “You say that as if I might do something improper.”

Iruka assumed the stern look he shot Kakashi would be answer enough.

Kakashi laughed and opened the bag, handing Iruka a plastic container of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. Iruka stared at Kakashi in surprise.

“Ichiraku?”

The jounin shrugged. “I didn’t know what else you liked.”

He smiled, his earlier embarrassment slowly starting to fade. “Nor I you. We’ll have to work on that.”

Kakashi tapped his own container of soup. “Miso, particularly if it has eggplant. I’m a big fan of vegetables, though I hate tempura.”

“I love ramen, much like Naruto. Also, stir fry, teriyaki anything, most fish. I hate blended rice and natto, and I’m aware that that makes me a bit weird.”

Kakashi laughed and leaned against the tree. “Not that weird.” He stirred his miso with his chopsticks. “Oh, and we have an audience.”

Iruka turned to find Konohamaru and a handful of other students quietly creeping up on them. The children froze as soon as they realized they’d been spotted and then raced forward to surround him.

“Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei! You know the legendary Copy-nin?”

He glanced back at the jounin and grinned slightly as he noticed that a fourth of Kakashi’s miso was gone. “I do. The nice jounin came to have lunch with us.”

The children’s eyes went wide. “Really?” Ayame asked.

“Really,” Kakashi said, playing along. His soup was gone.

Konohamaru stared. “How’d you do that?”

“Jounin secret.”

Iruka barely stopped himself from laughing.

“Now, sensei, why don’t you come sit next to me,” Kakashi patted a section of grass so close it was practically in his lap, “and I’ll tell the kids a story while you finish your lunch.”

The children cheered, and Iruka knew when he was defeated. He sighed in mock reticence and slid over to sit next to Kakashi. The children formed a semi-circle around Kakashi. More wandered over as they noticed the small group in front of the tree.

“Once upon a time,” Kakashi began, “there was handsome, brave warrior who desperately sought the affection of a cute but aloof schoolteacher…”

Iruka nearly choked on his soup.

*****

Kakashi swung his feet idly in the air. He watched Iruka dismiss his class from what Kakashi was beginning to think of as their tree. He’d made a habit of stopping by once a day to peek in on Iruka, sometimes for lunch, sometimes just to say hi or walk Iruka home. It felt slightly odd to be waiting outside of the Academy in full tactical gear, but he didn’t have time to go home and change before leaving. Iruka disappeared from the classroom and reappeared a minute later in the side entrance. Kakashi hopped down as Iruka strode towards him.

There was a momentary shift in Iruka’s demeanor as he noticed the way Kakashi was dressed, a brief look of worry and disappointment flitting across his face before being replaced by a slightly dimmed smile.

“You’re leaving?” Iruka asked.

Kakashi nodded. His current reluctance to leave was somewhat new to him. It’d been a while since he had someone in the village that he didn’t want to be apart from.

Iruka fidgeted, obviously wanting to be closer but holding himself back. Kakashi bridged the gap between them and pulled Iruka against him, wrapping his arms around the younger man. “It’s only for a few days. Three at the most.” He’d forgotten the way new relationships felt. Kakashi had been taking things slow with Iruka, but they were just starting to get into the heavier kinds of touching and he’d found it addictive.

Iruka smiled up at him but his eyes seemed sad. “Stay safe.” The chuunin seemed to want to say more but restrained himself.

Sometimes, Kakashi thought, Iruka was far too cute. He really should have approached Iruka sooner. Had he known that Iruka didn’t hate him, he would have been all over the chuunin months ago, possibly years. He glanced around at the empty yard and then pulled down his mask. Iruka let himself be pulled into a deep kiss, his sadness seeming to wane the minute Kakashi started to lean in.

He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay here, with Iruka in his arms, kissing the chuunin breathless. He wanted to sweep the chuunin off his feet and teleport back to his house, where he could throw Iruka down on his bed and ravage him senseless. But, his team was waiting for him and he was late enough as it is.

Kakashi pulled away reluctantly, parting briefly only to dive back in for a few more kisses, growing progressively more chaste.

Iruka smiled at him, a real smile this time. He pulled Kakashi’s mask back into place, his hands lingering on Kakashi’s cloth-covered cheeks.

“Go and come back.”

“I will.”

Kakashi stepped back, breaking their contact and teleported away. For once, he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to be late getting back.

*****

“So, you and Kakashi, huh?”

Iruka glanced sideways at Genma and continued walking. He was surprised that Genma had actually waited a few days to question him about Kakashi. He’d been expecting Konoha’s resident gossip monger to be on him the first day, pressing for details. “Yes, me and Kakashi.”

Genma grinned widely. “So, how is he in the sack?”

Iruka tripped and barely managed to keep from falling or losing his groceries. He glared at Genma. “We’ve only been on a few dates. It’s been less than a week.”

“So?” Genma genuinely looked confused.

Iruka shook his head. “Here.” He thrust half of his groceries at the special jounin. “Carry these.” Might as well get some use out of the jounin if he insisted on pestering Iruka.

Genma took the bags without complaint. “Well?”

“Some people,” he stressed the words and glanced pointed at Genma, “actually wait a few days beofre they jump in bed with someone. You know, actually get to know them first.”

“Those people are boring.”

Iruka flinched. He wondered if Kakashi shared Genma’s opinion.

“We’ve been on a few dates,” he protested lamely. “I don’t even know if Kakashi likes me all that much yet.”

Genma chuckled. “Oh, he does.”

Iruka tensed, senses suddenly on full alert. “How do you know that?”

A sly grin stretched across Genma’s face. “I know things Kakashi doesn’t know I know. Admittedly, he was rather drunk when he told me. I was pretty drunk too, but I have the good fortune not to blackout when I’m plastered.” His expression shifted towards a leer and he raked his eyes over Iruka’s form. “You should come out with us next time we go drinking. Technically, it’s supposed to just be jounin, but you’re close enough.”

He wasn’t quite sure how to take that. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

They reached Iruka’s apartment building. Genma followed him up the outer staircase and Iruka tried to pretend that the jounin wasn’t staring at his ass. It didn’t work so well when Genma kept commenting on how nice Iruka’s ass was. He fished out his keys and momentarily debated inviting Genma in.

He didn’t get many chances to socialize. Iruka was usually too busy with work and he didn’t get invited out all that much unless it was with his coworkers. In the end, it wasn’t a hard decision. “Would you like to come in for some tea?”

Genma gave Iruka a speculative look, causing Iruka to blush.

“Just tea,” Iruka said firmly.

Genma shrugged. “Your loss. I’d love to.”

Iruka chuckled softly and opened the door. He wondered if all jounin were as weird as Genma. Considering what he knew of Kakashi, they probably were.

*****

Kakashi was late.

He practically threw his report at the hapless chuunin that was manning the mission desk, annoyed that it wasn’t Iruka there to take it. The mission had left him a little bit on edge – more than a little bit, if he was honest with himself. It had taken longer than it was supposed to have and Yurika had gotten herself hurt when she’d blown their cover, forcing Kakashi and Riiya to jump in and extricate her. They’d spent the next two days leading their pursuers on a chase through the wilderness, taking them out in small groups until they could finally double-back and eliminate their original target.

Iruka wasn’t at the Academy or with the Hokage or at Ichiraku’s, which left Kakashi with a very limited number of places left to look. He teleported to the chuunin’s door and knocked rapidly. A dog started barking in one of the lower apartments. The door swung open on the third knock.

Surprise flashed across Iruka’s face, followed by joy, and then Kakashi suddenly had his arms full of excited chuunin.

“Kakashi! You’re back! I was so worried…”

Kakashi let himself be pulled into the chuunin’s apartment, the door slamming shut behind him. Iruka’s fingers wormed underneath the edges of his mask and he forced himself down off of his post-mission panic as his face was bared. Iruka pulled him down into a wet, enthusiastic kiss.

He could get used to welcomes like this. Kakashi shifted them, turning until Iruka’s back was against the wall and then sliding one of his legs between the chuunin’s. Iruka let him, moaning softly into the kiss and hooking one leg over Kakashi’s hips. Kakashi rolled his hips forward, forcing another moan from Iruka’s lips. He shifted his hands lower to lift Iruka off the floor. Iruka wrapped himself eagerly around Kakashi and roamed his hands over Kakashi’s back and arms, twining briefly in his hair before slipping back down to touch as much of Kakashi as possible.

Iruka tensed when his hand touched a tear in Kakashi’s sleeve.

Iruka’s feet hit the floor as he pushed Kakashi away. Concern replaced lust on Iruka’s face, and Kakashi inwardly mourned the loss.

“You’re hurt.”

“Not bad.”

Iruka pulled him deeper into the chuunin’s apartment, maneuvering him until he was sitting on one of the chairs around Iruka’s kitchen table. The chuunin knelt in front of the sink to rummage in his cabinet, giving Kakashi a wonderful though sadly brief view of Iruka’s excellent ass. There was a med kit in Iruka’s hands when he turned back around. “Take off your shirt.”

Kakashi leered. “Being a bit forward, aren’t you, sensei?”

Iruka turned his stern teacher glared on Kakashi. He sighed. No getting out of it, he supposed. He unzipped his vest, laying it carefully across the table, and then pulled off his shirt. Iruka’s face fell as he noticed the scattering of bruises and cuts across Kakashi’s chest.

“You should have gone to the hospital.”

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s not that bad.”

Iruka looked like he wanted to protest, but he wordlessly pulled out antiseptic spray and started cleaning off Kakashi’s wounds. Iruka’s hands were gentle, somewhat like Kakashi remembered his mother’s being, a long time ago. He barely felt anything as the cuts were bandaged and salve smeared across the bruises.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah,” he lied. He could eat later. He wasn’t even hungry at the moment, though he knew he’d be famished later.

Iruka fidgeted for a moment, then started putting the med kit away.

“Couch?” Kakashi asked.

Iruka blushed and nodded.

They settled onto Iruka’s couch. Kakashi leaned back against the cushions and pulled Iruka onto his lap, slightly surprised at the complete lack of protest. Iruka curled against him, tucking his head under Kakashi’s chin and wrapping his arms around Kakashi.

“Missed me?” Kakashi asked.

Another nod. He hugged Iruka and closed his eyes momentarily, savoring the feeling of Iruka’s warm body against him. All of the stress of the mission bled out of him, leaving him feeling suddenly drained and far too heavy. He felt safe here, with Iruka in his arms. He was home, or at least close enough to it.

Kakashi barely noticed Iruka’s breathing start to even out as he fell asleep.

*****

Iruka felt like an idiot. He pushed open the front gate of the Hatake compound, feeling a bit like he was intruding. There was no one in sight. It was stupid coming here – he didn’t even know for sure if Kakashi was home, let alone available. Kakashi had been gone when he’d woken up in the morning. The minor amount of grading he’d had to do for his class hadn’t taken very long, leaving Iruka with the majority of a gorgeous Saturday open and no plans.

He clutched the wicker basket in his hands as he walked up the gravel path to the front door. A thin rope hung from the wall next to the door. Iruka tugged lightly, and faint chimes echoed from the other side of the door, the sound growing softer as it spread through the house.

Minutes passed, and Iruka worried and debated leaving. He was glad that the high walls around the compound hid him from view. He felt stupid, standing there waiting for someone who probably wasn’t even home. Just as he was about to turn, the door slid open, and a slightly breathless Kakashi stared at him.

“H-hi.”

Kakashi shifted to lean against the doorframe. His mask was down and he was smiling. “Hi.” He glanced down at the basket in Iruka’s hands. “That for me?”

Iruka really needed to work on not blushing so much. “I made lunch. I mean, I brought lunch, but if you’ve already eaten, I can-”

“I haven’t.” Kakashi’s hand pulled one of Iruka’s off the handle and twined their fingers together. He glanced past Iruka at the sky. “Want to eat in the garden?”

Iruka smiled. He’d been hoping Kakashi would want to take advantage of the good weather and had packed accordingly. “I’d love to.”

“Be right back.”

Kakashi disappeared down the hall. Iruka shifted on his feet and stared out at the lush landscape of Kakashi’s yard. He wasn’t quite sure how the jounin kept it so well maintained when he was out on missions all the time. Iruka could barely remember to water his few houseplants between his work at the Academy and the mission room. He’d lost two in the months he’d been on active mission duty.

“Here we go,” Kakashi said.

Iruka jumped as Kakashi suddenly appeared behind him. He had a feeling that Kakashi was trying not to laugh at him, mostly because Kakashi’s eyes were sparkling with barely concealed humor. One of Kakashi’s arms slid around his waist, and there was a large brown blanket draped over his other arm.

The garden was much prettier in the daytime. Trees and carefully trimmed shrubberies intermixed with small plots of flowers in full bloom. Small half-circle stones lined the edges of the gravel paths that twisted through the maze of plants. Iruka did his best to memorize the route Kakashi led them on – off the main road, turn at a large red-leaved tree, another turn by a pink flowering bush and then through an opening in a row of hedges.

They emerged in another private glade, surrounded by a high wall of hedges. This clearing also held a small pool of water, but where the one Kakashi had shown him the night of their first date had been obviously man-made, this one was more natural, close to a small pond that just happened to sit in the middle of a garden. The gravel path ended where the glade began. There were no benches or other seating, just slightly high grass and a few wild flowers growing along the base of the hedgerow.

Kakashi spread the blanket across the grass. “It’s a good day for a picnic, isn’t it, sensei?”

Iruka turned his gaze back to Kakashi and smiled. “Yeah. It really is.”

He dropped down to sit on one end of the blanket and started pulling containers out of the basket. He set a large container of onigiri between them and pulled out a thermos of tea which Kakashi promptly took from him. Kakashi poured them both a cup and leaned back on one arm as he surveyed the food.

“All that for just us?”

Iruka flushed. He knew he’d made too many, but once he’d started making rice balls, he kept thinking of other fillings to put in them. “I got a bit carried away.”

Kakashi’s grin turned into a slight leer. “You can get carried away with me anytime you like, sensei.”

He smacked Kakashi lightly on the arm, causing the jounin to laugh. Iruka grabbed a onigiri in lieu of trying to think of an appropriate response. The only things his brain seemed capable of coming up with would just encourage Kakashi more. Not that that was really a bad thing, he thought.

They ate quietly. Kakashi occasionally commented on the food, complimenting Iruka’s cooking ability. There was a light breeze playing through the garden. He could hear leaves rustling behind them but the tops of the trees were hidden behind the hedgerow. The breeze carried with it the scent of flowers, too many varying fragrances mixed together to really tell which flowers they came from.

Iruka finished his second onigiri and washed it down with the rest of his tea. He tucked his dishes back into the basket, then stretched out on the blanket, pillowing his head on his arms. A few stray clouds moved sluggishly through the sky and he watched them pass, feeling warm and full and relaxed. Kakashi was watching him from the corner of his eye while trying to look like he wasn’t. Iruka’s smile widened – it was nice to know that he wasn’t the only one who was completely smitten.

“How do you keep your garden so tidy?” Iruka asked as Kakashi swallowed a bite of his onigiri.

The jounin glanced over at him. “I don’t.”

Iruka raised an eyebrow.

“My father…” A shadow fell across Kakashi’s face and was quickly hidden. “…hired a pair of groundskeepers and gave them one of the small buildings at the back of the complex, behind the main house. That was years ago, and then he died, but I didn’t want to kick them out.” He stared at the pond for a long moment. A strong breeze blew in, scattering fallen petals across the water. “I didn’t live here, not until recently. I still have my apartment, over in the bachelor’s area. But I still paid them and they took care of the house for me, and the garden. It didn’t used to be like this. It used to be smaller, but their daughter took an interest in it.” He smiled at Iruka. “The garden’s the main reason I moved back – well, that and there’s more room for the dogs.”

Iruka stretched his arm across the blanket to take hold of Kakashi’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “My parents died in the Kyuubi attack. Our house was destroyed too.” He turned to stare up at the clouds. “Sometimes I think that it’s better that way. I lost everything, all at once, but it also meant that I didn’t have anything to constantly remind me that they were gone.”

Kakashi pulled his hand away. For a moment, Iruka was worried, but then Kakashi started clearing the rest of the containers off of the blanket. The basket was set off to the side and then Kakashi stretched out next to him, on his side, facing Iruka. A gentle smile settled on his face as he reached up to stroke Iruka’s cheek.

“It’s hard,” Kakashi agreed, “remembering what the house used to be like with them in it. And it’s a bit lonely too. It’s a big house with just me in it, but I’m hoping to fill it with other people some day.” The way Kakashi’s eyes focused on Iruka when he said that sent a shiver down Iruka’s spine. “Memories are what you make of them, but you’re not alone now. You’ve got Naruto and me and the rest of your friends.”

Iruka felt tears threatening. He reached up and carded his fingers through Kakashi’s hair to pull the jounin down into a kiss. The distraction worked wonderfully. Kakashi’s tongue slipped inside of his mouth and he forgot about being sad and lonely and remembering what he’d lost. Then Kakashi shifted, moving over until he was draped over Iruka, and he lost track of any thoughts that weren’t Kakashi.

He shifted beneath Kakashi, sliding his legs out so that he could bend his knees, settling Kakashi’s hips between them. Kakashi murmured his approval against Iruka’s neck, his lips trailing across Iruka’s cheek to settle below his ear. Blunt teeth pressed down, too light to leave a mark but enough to make Iruka gasp in pleasure. Kakashi’s hands slid under Iruka’s shirt, pushing the black fabric up and exposing his stomach to the summer air. He shivered as Kakashi ran his fingernails lightly across his sides and stomach, arching up into the touch.

Kakashi pulled back and helped Iruka peel his shirt off. He returned the favor, marveling at how pale Kakashi’s skin was compared to his own. Kakashi apparently had similar thoughts. He leered down at Iruka’s bronzed skin, his gaze straying lower towards Iruka’s hips.

“Full body tan?”

He blushed and pulled Kakashi back on top of him. “Just naturally that way.”

“I like it,” Kakashi said as he kissed Iruka’s chest. His lips strayed dangerously close to one of Iruka’s nipples.

“I’m gl-ad.” His voiced hitched as Kakashi’s tongue swiped over his nipple. Anything else he might have said was lost in a low moan as Kakashi’s teeth closed lightly over the sensitive flesh, tongue flicking against it.

“Are you?” Kakashi teased and switched his mouth to similarly torment the other side of Iruka’s chest.

“Yes!” He hooked a leg over Kakashi’s back and lifted his hips to press against Kakashi, moaning when he felt Kakashi’s erection through his pants.

Iruka groped blindly between them until he found the clasp. Judging by the way Kakashi bucked against him, he hadn’t minded the groping in the slightest. Iruka fumbled for a moment before finally opening Kakashi’s pants. He pushed the fabric down as far as he could reach and then slid his hand around to take Kakashi’s erection in hand, earning him a loud groan.

Kakashi pulled back to stare down at Iruka, a wide smile on his face. Now that he could see between them, Iruka shifted his hand slightly to get a better angle. Kakashi was fully hard, the thick column of flesh warm and slightly wet under Iruka’s hand. Iruka licked his lips and grinned at the hungry look that crossed Kakashi’s face as he did so.

Slowly, Iruka slid down the blanket, wriggling until his head was close to Kakashi’s hips. He pulled Kakashi down on top of him once more, maneuvering until he could take Kakashi into his mouth. Kakashi moaned his approval and leaned back slightly so that he could watch Iruka’s head bob against his cock. One of Kakashi’s hands twisted in Iruka’s hair, steadying Iruka’s head as Kakashi slowly started to move his hips.

Kakashi’s harsh breathing filled the clearing, only barely covering the wet slurping noises Iruka made as he sucked on Kakashi. The taste of Kakashi filled his mouth, sweat and precum salting Iruka’s tongue. He wanted to taste Kakashi as he came in his mouth but it’d been too long since Iruka had last done something like this. His jaw ached as he slowly pulled away. His breathing overshadowed Kakashi’s in volume.

Kakashi stared down at him, his expression full of hunger and lust. Gentle hands pulled Iruka back up until he was centered on the blanket. Kakashi reached back to extricate himself from his pants and paused to pull a thin tube from one of his pockets. Iruka’s hands reached for the button on his own pants but Kakashi stopped him, covering the clasp with one hand.

Iruka grinned and relaxed back onto the blanket. He nodded towards the tube in Kakashi’s hand. “Hoping you’d get lucky?”

Kakashi dropped the tube of lubricant onto the blanket and started to unfasten Iruka’s pants. “I believe in always being prepared.”

He lifted his hips to give Kakashi room to pull Iruka’s pants down, and Kakashi quickly removed the last of Iruka’s clothing. He didn’t move at first, instead staying where he was, kneeling near the foot of the blanket and watching Iruka. Kakashi lifted a hand and slowly slid his forehead protector off, his red eye opening and running over Iruka from head to toe. Another shiver ran through Iruka and he pulled his knees towards his chest in obvious invitation.

“Flexible, aren’t you, sensei?”

A wide, teasing grin stretched across his face. “Maybe you should come here and find out.”

Kakashi grinned back at him and finally moved forward. He uncapped the lube and spilled a generous amount of the clear gel across his palm. One of Kakashi’s hands teased Iruka’s entrance, circling his hole but never venturing inside, while the other spread lube across Kakashi’s erection. Kakashi’s hands moved and then slick fingers were pressing inside of him. He moaned and forced himself to breathe evenly and relax as Kakashi stretched him.

Kakashi’s fingers played inside of him, rubbing against his flesh and twisting, drawing a series of needy, high-pitched noises from Iruka. He clenched his hands against his knees, fingers digging into his own flesh.

“Kakashi,” he moaned. Kakashi’s hand didn’t stop moving. “Kakashi!” Iruka writhed against the blanket. “Enough. Please.” There was a wide smile on Kakashi’s face as he watched Iruka, purposely teasing him. “Need you,” Iruka gasped. “Inside. Please. Please.”

He nearly cried with relief when Kakashi finally pulled his hand away. Iruka was close. He felt like he was going to fall apart at any minute and he wanted Kakashi inside of him when he did so. Kakashi’s erection pressed against his entrance and he let his legs fall, wrapping them once more around Kakashi’s waist. He lifted his hips into Kakashi’s thrust, pushing up while Kakashi slid inside of him.

It felt like heaven. Then Kakashi started moving and Iruka changed his mind. This, with Kakashi filling him, moving inside of him, his eyes watching him with an expression that Iruka was hard-pressed not to mistake for genuine affection, this was heaven.

His fingers twisted in the blanket, bunching the fabric around his hands. Kakashi held him steady, gripping Iruka’s hips to guide them together in a slow, steady pace. The jounin was gentle. He slid in and out of Iruka in a lazy rhythm, constant like the rolling of waves across the pond. Kakashi’s face was tense with concentration. He was watching Iruka, his eyes fixed on Iruka’s face for a long while until he suddenly sat back on his heels and lifted Iruka’s hips in the air.

The change in angle nearly made him come. Iruka gasped loudly and dropped his feet to the ground for balance. Kakashi was speeding up, his hips meeting Iruka’s with building force. It took all of Iruka’s concentration to hold off release but he was fighting a losing battle. One of Kakashi’s hands slid around his hip and closed around Iruka’s erection. He came undone.

Iruka shouted wordlessly as he came. A look of triumph mixed with ecstasy crossed Kakashi’s face as Iruka tensed with his release. Then Kakashi’s hands shifted to pull Iruka forward until he was straddling the jounin’s lap. Iruka shivered and collapsed against the jounin, curling around Kakashi’s chest as gravity helped the jounin press deeper inside of him. Hands gently encouraged him into movement.

He leaned back, feeling his face heat from the closeness of Kakashi’s entranced stare. His hands gripped Kakashi’s shoulders for balance as he slowly started to lift himself. The blissful look on Kakashi’s face made him forget all of the small aches building in his body as he slowly bounced in Kakashi’s lap. Kakashi’s hands guided him, building the pace until he was slamming his hips down onto Kakashi’s erection.

Kakashi came quietly, spilling his seed inside of Iruka with only a faint grunt. Iruka kept moving, not stopping until Kakashi’s hands stilled him, holding them together.

“That was fantastic,” Iruka gasped.

Kakashi just grinned at him and shifted them until Iruka was on his back with Kakashi on top of him once more.

They stayed pressed together, limbs entangled, trading soft kisses until the sun went down.

*****

“You look happy today.”

Iruka beamed at Genma. The mission room was empty save for the two of them. Few people were out on missions today, and even fewer wanted to come pick one up on Sunday afternoon. They’d probably get busier by dinner time.

He was a little surprised to find Genma working the mission room with him. The jounin must have recently volunteered, or he was covering for someone else’s shift.

“I am happy today.” He’d spent the last night and most of the morning with Kakashi, the majority of their time spent in Kakashi’s bed.

Genma grinned widely. “So things are going well between you and Kakashi?”

“Very well.” He couldn’t help the contented sigh that escaped him.

“Finally sleep with him?”

His blush and incoherent stammering were answer enough. Genma’s grin widened and he leaned closer. “How was he?”

Iruka glanced at the door to make sure no one was about to walk in. He dropped his voice low, just in case. “Amazing.”

Genma whistled in appreciation. “That good, huh?”

He nodded.

“Damn.” Genma leaned back in his seat. “There goes my next paycheck. I was sure he couldn’t get it up.”

Iruka paused in confusion, not quite sure that he understood the connection between Kakashi having sex and Genma’s paycheck. “Huh?”

“I bet him a week’s worth of Ichiraku that he couldn’t get laid.”

Iruka felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Genma suddenly froze and stared at Iruka in growing horror.

“He didn’t mention that, did he?”

Iruka shook his head, sure that he was entirely failing at keeping the look of hurt off his face.

“Shit.” Genma started to panic. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.” Iruka started towards the door, and heard a chair scrape against the floor as Genma stood. “Iruka, wait. It’s not that bad. We just-”

He slammed the door behind him, cutting Genma off.

*****

Iruka had been home for an hour before the knocking started. He didn’t need to look to know who it was. His hands clenched on the edge of the counter top. Part of him wanted to go to the door and tell Kakashi in cool, disdainful terms exactly what he thought of this kind of behavior. Another part of him wanted to curl up in the darkest corner of his apartment and stay there until Kakashi went away.

He’d been used. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the way Mizuki had used him, but it still hurt and made him feel like he was worthless. Had it all been a joke for Kakashi? Had he been treating Iruka nicely just so that he could con Iruka into sleeping with him?

It didn’t add up. There was something he was missing, some condition on the bet that Genma hadn’t told him. Kakashi could have slept with him days before he actually had. Hell, Iruka had literally thrown himself at Kakashi the day Kakashi had come back from his mission. Kakashi could have easily talked him into bed that night but hadn’t.

He wanted to know what was going on but he didn’t think he could face Kakashi long enough to find out. His heart was already bruised, and he didn’t feel the need to add to the pain.

“Iruka…”

He turned and grabbed for the closest object – a frying pan. Kakashi stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his hands up in a calming gesture. The jounin slowly reached for his mask and pulled it down.

Iruka’s hand tightened on the handle of the frying pan. He turned his head to stare at the refrigerator. “Get out.”

Kakashi didn’t move. “I’m sorry. I really am.” Iruka caught a glimpse of Kakashi’s expression from the corner of his eye. The remorse on the jounin’s face nearly made him give in but then he remembered Genma’s words. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He dropped the frying pan into the sink before he was tempted to throw it at the jounin. “You’ve won your bet. I don’t want to talk to you, so get out.”

Kakashi started to take a step forward.

“Don’t.”

Kakashi froze and shifted back to where he’d been standing. “It’s not what you think.”

He finally looked Kakashi in the eye. Something in his expression made Kakashi wince. “It’s not?” He trembled, not quite sure if it was from rage or sorrow. “So you didn’t wager Genma a week’s worth of Ichiraku on getting laid?”

The jounin had the good sense to look guilty, but he didn’t look away. “I did, but-”

Iruka cut him off. “Tell me, did you tell him beforehand what day you were going to fuck me? Was that part of the bet too?”

He was falling apart. He didn’t want Kakashi to see that.

“No!” Kakashi took a step forward. Iruka didn’t stop him. “It wasn’t like that.” Another step. “Yes, I made a bet that I could get laid in two weeks. Genma didn’t know that I wanted to sleep with you, not until I asked you on a date. It wasn’t preplanned.”

Iruka was an idiot for thinking that he’d actually found a decent guy that liked him. Obviously that was never going to happen. “Like that makes it any better?”

Kakashi was less than a foot away when Iruka dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn’t think he could look at Kakashi anymore. Kakashi shifted and dropped to his knees, then took Iruka’s hands in his own. Iruka couldn’t bring himself to pull away, not when Kakashi looked so desperate.

“I only wanted you,” Kakashi said softly. “I wanted to date you, to get to know you, to make love to you, long before the bet even happened.”

He wavered.

Kakashi shifted closer. “I didn’t think you liked me, so I never asked, but when Genma made that bet… you were the only one I could think of, the only one I wanted. I’m sorry if I upset you. I wasn’t sure how to tell you.” Kakashi stared up at him with an expression bordering on puppy eyes. “Please don’t be mad at me. I really like you, Iruka. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

He caved. Iruka sighed and tugged Kakashi to his feet.

“If you ever do anything like this again, I’m going to hurt you.”

Kakashi smiled at him. “Kinky.”

He punched Kakashi in the arm. Hard. Kakashi winced and wrapped his arms around Iruka.

“And you’re giving me some of that free ramen,” Iruka continued.

Kakashi nuzzled the top of Iruka’s head. “You can have all of it. After all, you won me. Consider that your prize.”

Iruka blushed and hugged Kakashi tightly. Maybe he wasn’t so bad at relationships after all.

Dec 02 2009

Death’s Shadow

Something was wrong.

Fuyuki woke slowly, his brain forcing him grudgingly into consciousness. He waited, still as a rabbit, while his eyes adjusted. The lantern in the hall cast faint light into the room through the paper door, casting the room in a soft tan hue without really providing much in the way of illumination. The client beside him snored softly, one thick, meaty arm holding Fuyuki against the futon.

He heard bells. They were distant at first, so faint that he thought it was just ringing in his ears, but getting closer. They chimed softly in a regular pattern, low enough that they would have been inaudible during peak business hours but growing louder with each passing second. The light flickered, dropping the room into darkness for a moment. A new shadow appeared when the light returned, moving at a steady pace past the screen. The sound of the bells moved with it. The shadow was roughly human shaped, taller than normal with blurred edges, like the person, whoever it was, was just a shadow and nothing more. There were no footfalls – neither the heavy thud of their clients, the shuffling gait of the owner, or the soft steps of the maids.

The sound of the bells had woken him, he was certain, but the strangeness of this man was what had kept him from dismissing the sound and slipping back into sleep. Whoever this man was, his very demeanor screamed ‘outsider’.

Fuyuki held perfectly still as the stranger passed, not daring to even breathe. Outsiders meant danger and he didn’t want the stranger know that he had woken. He let out his breath in a soft sigh as soon as the shadow moved past Fuyuki’s room. The sound of bells receded, and Fuyuki pictured the stranger turning the corner at the end of the hall.

Slowly, he slid out from under his client’s arms and moved towards the edge of the futon, doing his best to not wake the man. He crawled across the floor towards the door, pausing halfway to pull on a discarded robe. The silken fabric slid over his shoulders, briefly irritating the scrapes on his back before settling around his thin frame. He belted it loosely as he knelt next to the door.

Cautiously, Fuyuki slid the screen open far enough to peek out into the hall. It was empty and quiet, exactly as it should be this late at night. He widened the opening and stuck his head out, glancing either way down the hall. All of the doors were shut. He couldn’t hear the bells. For a brief second, he wondered if he’d dreamed it, but his dreams had never been that vivid nor were they usually that unnerving.

New customers weren’t allowed on the premises this late. Only established patrons were granted the privilege of having a warm body to themselves all night, and even that came with a heavy cost. Daijin was working the gate tonight, and he was stricter than most of the guards, though that was only because it kept his work to a minimum. Whoever it was that he’d seen wandering the halls, they weren’t supposed to be here.

The door slid aside with a soft hiss. He stepped out into the hallway, his bare feet making little sound against the wooden floor. The shadow had disappeared to the left and so that was the direction Fuyuki headed. He peeked cautiously around the corner but there was no one there. His feet made soft thuds as he padded along the hallway, moving slowly and trying to make as little sound as possible. Stealth had never been his forte as a child, but his years here had taught him to be quiet, to move from place to place with as little sound as possible and attract as little attention to himself as he could.

Logically, he knew he should turn back. If there was an outsider in the compound, it couldn’t mean anything good. Sometimes the owner had men in to visit, investors or prospective clients, but that kind of business was handled during the day. He couldn’t help but think that the stranger’s purpose for being here was a bit nefarious. His very presence, just knowing that the man was in the building, set his nerves on edge. He shouldn’t care. It wasn’t his business. He shouldn’t be creeping through the halls at night. If he woke one of the guests, the owner would be very displeased with him.

Curiosity carried him forward along the hallway. It ended at a crossroads. Fuyuki stared down the two branches, trying to figure out which way the man could have gone. He took a hesitant step to the left, then froze as a faint chime sounded to his right. He was certain that the stranger was about to step out into the hallway and catch him. There was no movement, and the sound didn’t come again.

Fuyuki crept towards the sound. Halfway down the hall, one of the doors stood open a bare crack. That was Aki’s room. Aki was one of the youngest among them and still new enough and young enough that he drew a fair share of clientele because of it. He was timid but nice, and Fuyuki enjoyed his company on the rare times they were offered any leisure.

He knelt as he neared the door and crept forward on his hands and knees until he could peek into the room. Aki was asleep on the futon. There was a large, rotund man partially covering him. The man’s face was hidden by Aki’s body but Fuyuki still recognized him easily enough. An involuntary shudder ran through him as he remembered the last time he’d had the ‘pleasure’ of the man’s company. Another year and Aki would be old enough that the client would lose interest in him. If Aki’s experience with the man was similar to what Fuyuki remembered, Aki would be counting the days until his birthday eagerly.

At first glance, everything seemed as it should. The client slept fitfully, but that was standard. He was a restless sleeper, prone to tossing and turning at night. Judging by the marks on Aki’s exposed skin, it was obvious that he’d been with Aki for most of the evening.

Then, one of the shadows moved. Fuyuki barely stopped himself from jumping. He bit back a surprised gasp and held himself as still as possible as the shadow stretched forward towards Aki.

Fuyuki shivered again. Suddenly the hallway seemed colder than before. There was a man in the room with Aki and the client, his back to Fuyuki. He was tall, likely a foreigner, with dark hair and pale skin that shone dully in the faint light. The man reached up over his head, thin fingers closing in a space Fuyuki would have sworn was empty. Shadows rippled through the air like cloth, then were discarded in a heap on the floor. As they fell away, a long pole emerged, though it was hard to make out in the darkness. The black metal blended into the shadows. At first he thought it was just a strange sort of walking stick, maybe a staff, but then light glinted off something in the air that made him reconsider.

The man stepped closer to Aki. The fingers of both hands curled around the haft of the scythe. Fuyuki stared in fascinated horror as the weapon was raised, but he couldn’t watch it fall. He squeezed his eyes shut and said a silent prayer for Aki. He imagined the blade falling, painting the sheets crimson with blood. There were no screams, just silence. He waited. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed three things. First, there was no blood. Both of the people lying on the futon were unhurt, at least as far as he could see. Second, Aki was still alive. He turned slightly in his sleep, rolling away from the client and moaning softly. He stayed asleep. Third, the stranger had turned and now stared directly at Fuyuki.

He was the kind of man that Fuyuki wished made up their clientele – handsome, if a bit pale, but a world better looking than most of the men that Fuyuki met. He had foreign features, a strong jaw, and bright blue eyes that focused on Fuyuki with a look of surprise.

The man took a step towards him.

Fuyuki scrambled backwards. He stumbled unsteadily to his feet and ran. Practice made him move quietly, even in his haste. He skidded around the corner as the door to Aki’s room slid open. Bells chimed faintly. Fuyuki turned the corner again and half dove into his room. He paused inside the doorway, shoving down his initial instinct to slam the door shut behind him. He slid it mostly shut and then very gently closed it, making no sound. The bells were coming closer. Peeling off his robe, he shoved it under the cushion of a plush chair by the door, making certain none of it peeked out.

His client stirred as Fuyuki crawled back under the covers. He turned his face towards the client. Thankfully he seemed to still be asleep. The bells stopped outside of his door. Fuyuki arranged the long strands of his hair to obscure his face. He dropped his hand back under the covers as the door opened, shedding a thin shaft of light across his client’s face. Fuyuki held very still and tried to breathe normally. Closing his eyes he prayed for the man to move on, to forget about him and leave.

Seconds passed. It felt like an eternity. His heart thundered, and he was certain that the stranger would be able to hear it. He felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.

Fuyuki didn’t want to die.

Fabric rustled, and in his head Fuyuki pictured the man shifting on his feet. Minutes passed. He didn’t dare move. The waiting was driving him mad. He wished the man would just go away, or do something, anything but this silence. He wanted to stand up, to admit what he’d seen, just so the man could kill him and it’d be over. Terror kept him still.

The door slid shut, trapping Fuyuki in the darkness. He waited. The man could be trying to trick him. Bells chimed, breaking the silence. They moved away, receding down the hall and then fading away entirely. He waited still, until long after the sound was gone.

A heavy arm fell across Fuyuki’s chest. He jumped, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as he stopped himself from screaming. His client snored loudly and curled closer to Fuyuki, drawing Fuyuki towards him. He tensed, but the client didn’t wake, blissfully unaware of everything that had happened.

Slowly, Fuyuki uncurled his body, stretching out next to his client. He lay awake for a long time, thinking about the bells.

*****

Fuyuki missed breakfast the next morning thanks to his client’s persistent attention as soon as he’d woke. It was nearly noon by the time the client finished. He kissed Fuyuki with bold familiarity as he left, murmuring promises to return again. It was a credit to Fuyuki’s training that he held back a shudder.

As soon as the client was gone, Fuyuki pulled his robe out from under the chair and slipped it on. It was wrinkled, but he wasn’t planning on going far. He crossed to the back wall, stepping behind a paper screen to the back door. It slid aside silently, oiled well enough that it could be opened and closed without a sound, allowing servants to slip through unnoticed. Fuyuki stepped down to the stone walkway. The stone was cold against his bare feet, but he barely noticed it.

There was only one other occupant in the bathing room whenever he walked in. Kiriya seemed to be asleep. He lounged in a corner with a towel over his face, not moving as Fuyuki dropped his robe in the laundry bin and washed himself off thoroughly, scrubbing off his client’s touch as much as possible. The bath water was blissfully hot when he stepped in. He settled onto one of the benches opposite Kiriya, sliding down until his chin was submerged. The hot water helped alleviate some of his tension.

Exhaustion and hunger drove him from the water before too long. If he was going to fall asleep, he’d rather do so in his bed, and he needed lunch in his stomach before he could sleep, assuming he was given time to.

An assortment of plain-colored robed hung in a nook near the doorway. Fuyuki dried himself off and chose a black one, finding the color strangely fitting in honor of the night’s visitor. Theories swirled in his head, but he ignored them. He wasn’t much for superstition, though he’d heard enough of them from his grandmother when he was much younger. Still, practicality couldn’t explain away shadows that moved, the scythe, or a man with no footsteps. A few names came to mind, none of them particularly good – Grim Reaper, Shinigami, Death….

His stomach growled and he put thoughts of the strange man out of his mind.

The servants’ dining hall was unusually noisy when he approached, though the voices weren’t overly loud. They all knew better than to let their voices carry into the public rooms where a client could overhear. He was distracted as he walked in, busy trying to pull his long, wet hair into some semblance of order, so it took a few minutes for the scene before him to fully register. Aki sat in the center of a large huddle of people, obviously distraught. Most of the older boys were around him, offering comfort.

Fuyuki tapped Shizuka on the shoulder, waiting until the boy looked up from his meal before speaking. “What happened?” His eyes never left Aki.

Shizuka shrugged. “No one knows,” he said before scooping a large clump of rice into his mouth. “Aki’s client died last night. Good riddance, I say. Doctor Hitsuga’s looking at him now.”

The blood drained from his face. Shizuka must have mistaken the look for shock because he patted Fuyuki lightly on the arm and shot him a sympathetic look.

“These things happen. I’m sure they’ll clear Aki of fault.”

Fuyuki nodded dumbly. He turned towards the kitchen, moving mechanically. One of the cooks handed him a plate. He barely noticed the sympathetic look she sent his way or what was on his plate. His appetite had fled, but he ate anyways.

Shizuka was older, but still relatively new to the House of Falling Leaves. He’d been here for four or five years, Fuyuki had been here for eleven. Client deaths were rare. Fuyuki could only remember two others. They never ended well. Four years ago, it had been quiet. Heart attack from over exertion, no one to miss him, no complaints. The client had disappeared overnight. Seven years ago… Fuyuki shuddered. He’d been a child then, still reeling from the horrible lifestyle he’d been shoved into. A client had died then too. Again, a natural death, but the client’s family had involved themselves. They’d insisted that one of the boys had been responsible and railed at the owner until a culprit had been named. The owner had gathered them all in the courtyard and forced them to watch the boy being beaten. He could still hear the screams, echoing in the back of his mind.

“It’ll be alright.” Kiriya laid a hand on Fuyuki’s shoulder. His skin was still warm from the bath. “Aki will be fine.”

Fuyuki didn’t look up from his plate. He’d barely eaten half of his food. It tasted like ash.

He should say something. The owner would be furious for months because of this. He hated it when anything went wrong. He’d be even angrier if the client had family. They could demand restitution, and the owner hated losing money. If word got out, there was a chance that they might temporarily lose business.

If he said something, the owner likely wouldn’t believe him. He barely believed it himself. If he said something, the owner would think he was involved. Fuyuki had often expressed his hatred for that particular client. The man had been one of Fuyuki’s first clients and he enjoyed making it hurt. He’d ben a cruel man. The world would be better off without him. Their lives would be better without him.

He didn’t want to be punished. His best hope was to stay quiet and hope for the best. Aki would be fine. The owner liked him. A few tears and Aki would be forgiven, he hoped.

*****

Work kept Fuyuki from thinking too much about the stranger. Days stretched into weeks, and little was heard about the client’s death after that first morning. If Aki had been punished, it hadn’t been public. Rumor held that Aki had warmed the owner’s bed for a few nights. No one said how the client had died.

Occasionally Fuyuki would catch himself watching the gates through the windows in the common room, waiting for a dark-haired, handsome, pale foreigner to come request his services. The stranger never came and Fuyuki’s days stretched on in a haze of spreading his legs for older men. One of his clients brought him a set of wind chimes as a gift. He hung it where there was the least chance of a breeze. His wardrobe reflected his mood, slowly shifting to hold more blacks and silvers and reds. He was told it looked good on him.

Summer blurred into Fall, Fall to Winter. Inside the complex walls, the only difference in the seasons was in how many blankets were left on the futons and how chilled their clients’ skin was when they first came in. Instead of chilled wine, they served hot sake. The sex was always the same.

Out of all of Fuyuki’s regular clients, his least favorite was a foreigner who went by the name of Castle. He had expensive tastes and a thing for long-haired beauties. Whenever Castle visited, he’d send notice at least a week in advance. Fuyuki’s rooms were cleaned until they were spotless. Fuyuki wore his best kimono to meet Castle. The owner personally inspected him to make sure his skin was smooth and soft. The bustle of preparation only served to build an increasing sense of dread in Fuyuki’s stomach.

Fuyuki pasted a smile on his face as the door slid open. He bowed deeply and waited, his head pressed to his hands on the floor until Castle stood over him. They had a routine. Castle laughed merrily, protesting the formality as he helped Fuyuki to his feet, but Fuyuki knew it was expected of him. Castle was the kind of man that got off on subservience and control. As soon as he was on his feet, Castle pulled him into a possessive kiss. He tasted like beer and cigarettes.

He sat on Castle’s knees and exclaimed in feigned delight over the present Castle had brought him. The box was wrapped in gilded paper, equally ornate on the inside. Each of the six pieces of chocolate was nestled in a cup of golden tin. Castle hand-fed the first piece to Fuyuki, declining Fuyuki’s offer to share. He played up the sensuality of it – moaning in pleasure at the taste, sucking lightly on Castle’s fingers as they pushed a piece of chocolate into his mouth, growing bolder in his attentions with each one. The chocolate sank like a weight in his stomach. He prayed it wouldn’t come back up later.

The box was set aside halfway through. Castle’s hands slipped inside Fuyuki’s kimono, sliding gently under the fold to caress bare skin. They kissed slowly. He didn’t mind these languid moments, when Castle was nice and they were almost like lovers. In the beginning of their evening, Castle was always gentle, always eager in his exploration of Fuyuki’s skin, like he wanted to memorize the feel of him before he went away for another month or two.

Castle peeled Fuyuki’s kimono off of him, letting it slip off to pool over Castle’s lap and then shifting them until he could slide the fabric out from underneath Fuyuki. Castle’s erection poked into his thighs but Castle made no move to undress himself and Fuyuki knew better than to try.

After several more languid kisses, Castle had Fuyuki stand briefly so that he could rearrange Fuyuki across his lap. He straddled Castle’s thighs, his legs dangling from the arms of the chair. There was a discreet pot left out on the table next to them. Castle uncapped it and dipped his fingers inside with practiced familiarity. Three slick fingers pressed inside of Fuyuki at once, making him keen softly in pain as he was stretched too quickly. Castle was watching him intently. He smiled as Fuyuki’s hands clenched against the shoulders of Castle’s coat. His fingers worked slowly inside of Fuyuki, bobbing in and out, occasionally spreading wide and making Fuyuki gasp. Castle gave him time to get used to the thickness of his fingers, coating his insides liberally with oil.

“Good boy,” Castle murmured. His teeth played along the rim of Fuyuki’s ear, making him shiver and gasp. Castle knew exactly how to play him to get the reaction he wanted. They’d been meeting long enough that Castle knew which spots made him gasp and which made him moan. He knew how far he could push Fuyuki towards pain while still keeping Fuyuki tied up in pleasure. “Such a pretty boy.”

Teeth bit down on his ear, thankfully not hard enough to draw blood. He cried out in pain and jerked backwards, involuntarily spearing himself on Castle’s fingers.

Castle laughed and did it again. His smile turned wicked and he continued to push Fuyuki closer and closer towards the border where his pleasure turned sour.

“Who do you belong to?” Castle asked after a while. His voice was thick with lust. The time for gentleness was coming to a close.

Fuyuki lowered his gaze to hide the terror in his eyes and smoothed down the front of Castle’s coat, erasing the wrinkles he’d put there. “You, master.”

Castle’s fingers withdrew. He wiped them on a handkerchief pulled from his pocket and discarded it with Fuyuki’s clothes.

“Enough.” A hard slap landed on Fuyuki’s ass, signaling that he should stand.

He kept his eyes meekly down as he carefully crawled off of the chair. He stepped back just far enough to give Castle room to stand.

“On your knees.”

Fuyuki dropped on the spot. He clasped his hands behind his back and opened his mouth wide. Castle stood in front of him, opening his pants and pulling out his straining erection. One hand guided his erection into Fuyuki’s waiting mouth, the other closed in Fuyuki’s hair and pulled his head forward. He held as still as he could, closing his eyes to help concentrate on breathing. Castle filled his mouth, pushing his way in until Fuyuki’s nose touched flesh. He closed his mouth and did his best to suck and lick at the salty flesh that filled him.

Castle controlled their movements, keeping Fuyuki’s head steady while he pushed his way down Fuyuki’s throat. It hurt, much like everything did when Castle was involved. His hands pulled at Fuyuki’s hair. His hips occasionally slammed too hard against Fuyuki’s nose. Practice kept him from choking but it didn’t help him breathe. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Castle to come. Seed shot down Fuyuki’s throat and he did his best to swallow as much as he could, using his tongue to chase down any stray droplets. Castle hated it when he let his seed go to waste.

His jaw ached when Castle finally pulled out.

“You may touch me.”

Carefully, Fuyuki licked away any remaining trace of seed from Castle’s member before gently tucking him back into his pants. He schooled his expression into a polite mask before looking up.

“Did I please you, master?”

Castle’s hand caressed the side of Fuyuki’s face and he smiled down at him. “You did, my angel.”

His thumb pressed against Fuyuki’s lips, and he obediently took it into his mouth.

“I’d like you on your stomach.”

The hand pulled away so that he could answer.

“Yes, master.”

Fuyuki stood. He kept his gaze on the floor, purposely not looking at the array of items set out on the low table next to the futon. He crawled across the futon on his hands and knees and lay on top of the covers, legs spread, face in the pillow, hands gripping the mattress above his head in anticipation. Castle’s footsteps echoed through the room. He moved closer and paused in front of the table. Silence stretched out as Castle contemplated his options.

All the items currently on the table were usually kept in a wooden chest hidden in the back corner of the room, buried away until Castle came to visit. There were cuffs and chains and spreader bars, ropes and cords, whips, paddles, riding crops, and flogs. Fuyuki had experienced every one of them, and he feared them as much as he feared Castle.

He heard Castle pick something up off of the table. The futon dipped between his legs as Castle dropped to his knees behind him. Firm leather trailed from Fuyuki’s neck to the base of his spine. He shivered. Apparently Castle wanted to use the crop today.

The first hit came as a surprise. It always did. He bit down on the pillow to muffle his scream. Castle waited for him to relax before hitting him again. The crop rained down along his skin, blazing a methodical trail of blows up and down his back. Each scream made the next hit come harder, faster, exciting Castle with his pain.

Castle shifted backwards, moving his attention from Fuyuki’s back to his ass and his thighs. Fuyuki screamed loudly and tore at the sheets as a particularly hard hit landed directly across his tailbone. His labored breaths turned to sobs. Tears made the pillowcase wet under his cheeks.

A hand grabbed Fuyuki by the hair and pulled, arching him backwards towards Castle. He whimpered as the movement tightened the welts on his back.

“Beg for me.”

A sharp swat landed on one cheek, right next to Fuyuki’s opening. He screamed and trembled in Castle’s grasp.

“Please stop,” he begged. His voice was hoarse from screaming. “No more. I’ll be good. I promise. Please.”

“Not good enough.” Another swat landed on his other cheek, mirroring the location of the first.

“Please! Oh, gods, please stop. Please.”

“Not good enough.”

He felt Castle move, heard the crop being set down and another implement being picked up. It only took one hit to figure out what it was. Castle had switched to the flog. The thin strips of leather cracked as the hit his back, digging deeper into his flesh than the crop had. Where the crop stung, the flog bit. Castle hit him with it, again and again until his back burned in pain, reddened into one large welt. He kept going, hitting Fuyuki until his skin blistered and broke. The acrid smell of blood filled the air. He could feel it, trailing in thin rivulets down his back and burning whenever it touched one of the lash marks.

Castle pulled his head back again but he couldn’t beg this time, he was too far gone for words. He sobbed uncontrollably, but that seemed to be the response Castle wanted. Castle released his hair and Fuyuki fell forward limply against the mattress, his whole body trembling with pain and terror.

“Such a good boy,” Castle murmured his approval. His fingers caressed the marks he’d made, occasionally pressing down on one of the welts and laughing as it made Fuyuki’s sobs hitch.

“Turn over.”

It took him a few tries to get his legs to move. Shakily, he lifted himself off of the futon and rolled over onto his back. He cried out, arching away from the mattress as the fabric touched his raw skin. Castle’s hands pushed him down until he lay flat, the touch of fabric against his back blazing a solid line of pain from thighs to shoulders. Castle was grinning at him, his pants bulging with hardness. He watched as Castle shifted away for a moment, unbuttoning his pants and letting his erection out into the air once more. He moved back into place and waited expectantly. Fuyuki’s body screamed in protest as he lifted his legs, but he ignored the pain as much as he could. His body shook as he wrapped his legs around Castle’s hips and stretched his arms above his head. He lay as still as he could with the occasional tremor of pain running through him and waited.

The manacles were in easy reach of the futon. Castle stretched over him to attach first one, then the other around Fuyuki’s wrists, binding them tightly. He attached the manacles to a small length of chain set in the floor above Fuyuki’s head. A small scream escaped Fuyuki’s lips as Castle picked him up by the hips, fingers digging into reddened flesh. Castle lined up with ease and quickly shoved inside.

A look of pure pleasure crossed Castle’s face as he buried himself in Fuyuki, the whimper of pain he drove from Fuyuki’s lips only increasing his pleasure. They stayed frozen like that for several minutes, the stillness of the room broken by Fuyuki’s harsh sobs. Castle was watching him, his eyes intent, his lips curled into a smug smirk. He liked to watch Fuyuki’s face whenever he fucked him. Tears rolled down Fuyuki’s face, slowly stilling as his body relaxed into its new position. He used the brief pause to catch his breath, knowing that the night was far from over.

Castle’s hips moved slowly at first, making Fuyuki whimper with every thrust. The angle Castle held him at made Fuyuki’s back slide against the covers, scratching against the bleeding welts. Their pace gradually quickened, gaining more force as they went, driving Fuyuki harder and faster against the sheets until he was crying non-stop again. Castle’s fingers dug into his hips hard enough that the bruises would stay for days, controlling their movements as he thrust in and out, over and over again. The chains rattled above Fuyuki’s head, reminding him of bells.

“Quiet.”

Fuyuki bit his lip, trying to comply, but true silence was impossible. He hurt, so much, and he couldn’t stop crying. Faint moans escaped his lips every few seconds.

“I told you to be quiet.”

Castle grinned manically as his hand closed around Fuyuki’s throat.

“N-”

Fuyuki’s protest was cut off as Castle’s hand squeezed, cutting off Fuyuki’s air supply. He panicked. He didn’t like it when Castle did this, though that was the point. He tugged on the chains but Castle had secured them tightly. The metal dug into his wrists. He’d have marks there too. Castle was slamming into him, hard enough that Fuyuki would have had trouble walking tomorrow, even without all the welts.

Castle’s hand didn’t let go. Normally, when he did this, he’d squeeze long enough to make Fuyuki panic and then let go, let him get a breath of air, and then start again. It prolonged Fuyuki’s torture that way, keeping him on the edge of breathlessness for hours until he finally passed out. But Castle’s fingers weren’t letting up. Fuyuki had a feeling that Castle wasn’t going to let go this time.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the door open. If he had the breath to scream, he would have but Castle had denied him that. Lack of oxygen was starting to make the corners of the room blur. He didn’t like the way Castle was grinning. He feebly kicked at Castle, trying to get the man off of him, but Castle just grabbed his ankle, twisting it painfully in his free hand.

The strange man approached slowly. He wore the same black robes as the last time Fuyuki had seen him. Even in the brightly lit room, shadows seemed to cling to him, obscuring part of his form and giving him a blurry outline, like his clothing was fading away at the edges. He was watching Fuyuki intently, and there was only one way Fuyuki could interpret that.

He was going to die. Castle was going to kill him and the god of death had come to collect him.

He must have passed out briefly. Fuyuki blinked and suddenly the man was standing behind Castle, scythe unsheathed. Belatedly, he realized that he could breathe slightly. Castle’s hand was still around his throat but his fingers had relaxed somewhat. From the look on Castle’s face, he’d just come inside of Fuyuki, pleasure making him ease up, just for a moment, before they continued. He wondered if he’d live to see what torment Castle had devised next.

“Help… me…” Fuyuki whispered, staring directly at the stranger.

Castle frowned. He turned, opening his mouth to speak, but not words came out. His eyes passed over the stranger without seeing him. The scythe descended. Crimson blood formed a wide arc along the opposite wall, droplets fanning across the wood floor. Castle toppled onto his side, his back to Fuyuki. Blood pooled below his head and spread out in an expanding pool.

He drew in breath to scream. A cool hand over his mouth cut him off.

“Don’t.”

The stranger’s voice was soft and low. It had an almost instant calming effect on Fuyuki. He relaxed against his restraints and nodded.

With one hand, the stranger lifted Castle by the hair and pulled him off of Fuyuki, dropping him next to the low table. Fuyuki avoided looking at the smear of blood that Castle left on the floor. After he’d dropped Castle, the stranger reached down and grabbed Castle’s shadow. It came away from the floor whenever the stranger pulled, hanging limply from his hand. He poured it from his palm into a jug slung around his shoulder. Fuyuki wondered how he’d missed seeing the jug earlier. It was large enough that it should be obvious but he found his vision sliding away from it, always settling on some other feature of the man. The stranger caped the jug and slid it back into obscurity in the folds of his robes.

“What… are… you?” Fuyuki croaked. His throat felt tight, making speaking both difficult and painful.

The stranger turned back to him and quirked an eyebrow. “Shinigami.”

Fuyuki shivered. He remembered his grandmother telling him stories about the shinigami, the gods of death who wandered Japan, collecting souls. Was the shinigami going to kill him and take his shadow too?

The stranger crossed back to Fuyuki and knelt to undo the manacles around Fuyuki’s wrists. He flinched as the man came close, but the shinigami was gentle as he pulled the metal away from Fuyuki’s skin. His mind was starting to drift, a sign he’d long ago come to recognize as a warning that he was going to pass out shortly. He couldn’t seem to stop shaking. His whole body hurt. Despite the pain, he was finding it incredibly difficult to stay awake. He whimpered as he felt one of the stranger’s arms work its way under his knees, started to warn him but cut himself off as the man lifted him suddenly.

Fuyuki screamed. He felt fabric under his cheek, soaking up his tears. The man moved and Fuyuki was swallowed by darkness.

*****

He woke to a strange sky above him. Clouds the color of dying embers filled the sky, leaving the world dimly lit. If there was anything beyond the clouds, he couldn’t see it. All around them was a broken landscape of rust-colored rock and an occasional scraggly black tree. Fuyuki rested against one of those trees, though he had no recollection of how he’d gotten there.

It seemed like a tremendous effort to tear his eyes away from the far off sky and focus on the shinigami kneeling in front of him. He had Fuyuki’s ankle in his hands. White bandages twined around his flesh, slowly covering the dark bruises Castle had left there. He was naked still, save for an assortment of bandages, though he didn’t feel cold like he should.

The man glanced up at him, a frown sliding across his face. He reached up and ran his fingers across Fuyuki’s brow.

“Go to sleep,” the shinigami said, and Fuyuki did.

*****

When Fuyuki next woke, he was lying on a futon in a small, traditionally styled room. The floor was covered in tatami mats, the walls a mix of wood and paper screens. One of the screen doors stood open to his right, revealing a covered wooden walkway and snow-capped mountains beyond. The sky was overcast. Aside from the futon, there was little else in the room – frames of pressed flowers on the walls and a small table in the corner with a wash basin and a vase of pink flowers.

Slowly, Fuyuki eased himself upright. He whimpered as his collection of injuries protested the movement, but he still managed to force himself to sit up. Standing was much harder. At some point he’d been dressed in a black yukata. Simple silver embroidery lined the hems in two straight lines, though that was the only decoration on the fabric. He momentarily balanced on his knees and tightened the cloth belt around his waist, securing the fabric more firmly around his body. Slowly, he placed his weight on his right foot. He trembled with effort, biting his lip to keep silent as he painfully raised himself onto both feet.

His effort turned out to be for naught. As soon as he put weight on his left foot, pain shot through him like a lance. He screamed and pitched forward, landing half on the futon, half on the floor.

The sound of running feet made him freeze. The door in the left wall slammed open and he stared at the surprised-looking woman who stood in the doorway. She wore a pale blue kimono, the fabric rolled up to her knees. It reminded him of the maids at the House of Falling Leaves. More footsteps approached at a more sedate pace and the woman was joined by two others, one much older and one much younger. The youngest of the trio seemed to be about Fuyuki’s age, possibly younger.

“Ah,” the old woman exclaimed, her face breaking into a wrinkled smile as she stepped into the room. “You woke up.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized reflexively, not sure what he was apologizing for but his brain insisted that he must have inconvenienced them in some way worthy of apology. His voice rasped and he winced at the pain in his throat.

He blushed as he realized that the disarray of his limbs left his legs exposed. It hurt to move his left leg but he still tried, modesty demanding that he at least attempt to cover himself. He floundered. His limbs were shaking too much to be of any use.

“Lie still,” the woman in the blue kimono said. She crossed the room in two quick strides and knelt next to Fuyuki.

He couldn’t hide his flinches as she touched him, or the whimpers of pain as she helped him lie back on the futon. His back exploded in pain as the futon pressed against the welts on his back. He barely choked back a scream, his vision going blurry for a brief minute. The woman seemed to sense his distress. She helped him roll onto his stomach. The movement hurt, but he found it much more comfortable lying on his stomach instead.

“Shh,” the woman murmured in an attempt to soothe him. “You’re safe now.”

“Am I dead?”

The woman looked shocked, but the old lady just chuckled.

“No, no. Hurt, yes, but far from dead.”

Tension drained from Fuyuki’s body and he let himself relax against the futon. He wasn’t sure why the shinigami hadn’t killed him, but he wasn’t going to question his luck. His body was urging him back into sleep but his mind was too active for that, curious about where he was and why he was with the three women.

“Who are you?” He asked.

The old woman smiled at him as she settled onto the floor near Fuyuki’s head. Her voice was gravely, reminding him of the brush of sandpaper on wood. “I’m Sagamiya Shouko. This is my house. This,” she gestured to the woman in the blue kimono, “is my daughter, Mitsuko, and my granddaughter, Miyuko.” The young woman smiled timidly at him from the hallway. She’d yet to take a step into the room. “My son-in-law, Hakuto, is away right now, but he should return in a day or two.” She paused for a short moment and seemed to contemplate the wooden walls around them. “Also, there are Chiya and Ayami, but you will meet them later.” Her grin widened. “We’re all friends of Shin-san.”

The name didn’t seem familiar. “Shin-san?”

“Your friend, the Shinigami.”

His eyes widened in startlement. The shinigami – Shin – must have left him here. He wanted to protest that the shinigami wasn’t his friend, that they’d only just met, but he didn’t want them to take that as a sign to throw him out. “Is that his name? Shin?”

Shouko chuckled. “I think not. It’s what I have always called him, and he has never corrected it.”

“Where is he?” He wanted to see Shin again, partially to thank him and partially to have something familiar near. His nerves were still going haywire. He felt panicked, trapped by his inability to move, and he wanted the shinigami near in case someone tried to hurt him again.

“Not here,” Shouko said. “He has gone wherever it is that shinigami go.” Mitsuko’s face twisted briefly in unease as Shouko spoke, before returning to a pleasant, if muted, smile.

“Will he be back?”

“Who knows. He stops in from time to time, but I think the hours pass differently for him.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice, though it seemed to only make the women smile more.

“Rest now,” Shouko said. “Recover your strength. He’ll return soon enough.”

The women bid him polite goodbyes and left him to sleep. His thoughts drifted to the House of Falling Leaves, and what the owner would think when he found Castle dead and Fuyuki gone. It took a while before he could sleep.

*****

There was a wind chime hanging outside of his room. He could hear it, every so often, letting out a faint peal of bells that tugged at his memory. They’d left the outer door partially open to let in the breeze. The wind was slightly cold but not unpleasantly so. It felt good against his too warm skin. He wondered if he had a fever. That happened often after Castle visited. He’d be useless for days but the money Castle paid more than made up for the loss of business.

Memories of the House of Falling Leaves blended into the present and he wondered when the next client would come.

Fuyuki drifted in and out of consciousness. He lost track of time. Sometimes it was dark, sometimes light. The three women came and went, but more often than not he was alone. Most often he saw the mother as she helped him eat and brought him to the toilet. Movement hurt and he dreaded the times when the mother came and made him move, even if his body needed it. All he wanted to do was sleep until the pain faded away.

He woke at one point to darkness and the feeling of fingers threading through his hair. Fuyuki shifted his head, turning towards the body attached to the hand. His eyes didn’t quite want to focus. He was mostly certain that it was a man, dressed in black clothing, and that was enough for him to hazard a guess.

“Shin-san?”

The hand stilled but didn’t move away.

He closed his eyes and relaxed against the futon. He moved one of his hands, sliding it from beneath the covers to lightly grip the shinigami’s robe.

“Stay?”

The hand started to move again, slowly carding through his hair. “I will.”

He slept, feeling safe and protected for the first time in days.

*****

Mitsuko’s arm was a solid weight around his waist as they moved through the house. He was getting better at walking, though his left ankle still refused to support his weight. His body felt stiff after days in bed but at least his fever had cleared the night after Shin had visited him, making him wonder if the shinigami had actually been there at all. Shouko hadn’t said anything about the shinigami visiting. She had been insistent that he start to move around more, saying that it was good for his body.

He’d been invited down to dinner in the main hall. So far, Mitsuko or Shouko had brought him all of his meals. This was his first opportunity to leave the room they’d given him and also to meet the other members of the household. Shouko’s family had been nothing but kind to him so far, which only made him feel slightly guilty as dread filled him at the prospect of meeting others. Shouko had taken everything – from Fuyuki’s injuries to his arrival via shinigami – in quiet stride, never asking him how he’d been injured or why he’d been brought here. She just accepted him as someone the shinigami wanted her to look after, and that had been enough.

Mitsuko seemed to follow her mother in complacency, though her attitude was more brusque and business-like. She reminded Fuyuki of the head of the household at the House of Falling Leaves, more interested in seeing that the boys’ inevitable injuries were treated and dealing with any crisis in a calm manner, solving any issues with a stern voice and steady hands. Mitsuko was the one that helped Fuyuki bathe and changed his bandages. She had brought him cold compresses when his fever had been at its worst and stopped in frequently to wring out the cloth on his forehead and dip it in water when it was dry. She’d seen all of him and he’d long given up on embarrassment when he was naked in front of her.

The two older women hadn’t asked questions, but he doubted that the others would refrain themselves similarly.

He heard voices long before they approached the dining room, growing louder as they neared. They sounded happy. Mostly female voices, with one male chiming in sparingly. Fuyuki winced every time the man spoke. He was fairly certain Mitsuko noticed but he couldn’t stop himself. Each step closer reminded him how much he didn’t belong here.

Conversation stilled as they stepped through the open doorway. Fuyuki briefly looked at the crowd surrounding the dinner table before dropping his gaze and keeping it fixed on the floor. Aside from the three women he’d met earlier, there was another pair of women – Chiya and Ayami, though he wasn’t sure which was which. Both were young, close to Miyuko’s age. They smiled at him and seemed quite cheerful. The only other male he presumed to be Hakuto, Mitsuko’s husband. He was an older man, late into his middle ages with a thick frame and graying hair. Fuyuki was quite happy when Mitsuko took the seat between Fuyuki and her husband. He needed the buffer, though it didn’t do much to still his nerves.

“I’m Chiya,” the short-haired girl on his other side said as soon as he sat down. “Shouko said your name is Fuyuki, right?”

He nodded and returned her smile briefly before returning his gaze to the table in front of him. There was a bowl of rice already in front of him and Mitsuko had taken his plate, loading it with meat and vegetables from the bowls in the center of the table.

“Where are you from?”

Shouko made a shushing noise from the other end of the table, causing Chiya to pout in the old woman’s direction.

“Tokyo.”

They were all staring at him. He could feel their gazes on him. He tilted his head, causing his hair to fall forward like a curtain, cutting them off from his sight.

“I lived in Nagoya before that,” he added. Shouko’s house was in Hokkaido, though they’d yet to mention exactly where and he hadn’t asked. He was glad for the distance, since it put him a long way away from the House of Falling Leaves.

He glanced over and was surprised to find Chiya beaming at him.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Tokyo. Is it nice there? I hear they have really great shopping.”

Fuyuki’s hands were shaking as he picked up his chopsticks. He wanted to ask Mitsuko to take him back to his room but that would have been rude. The rice fell off of his chopsticks the first time he tried to eat. Mitsuko had turned to talk to her husband, asking him about shipping and receipts. Fuyuki ignored their conversation. Miyuko and Ayami slowly returned to the conversation they’d been having just before Fuyuki walked in, talking about colors and patterns. He vaguely remembered Shouko mentioning that her family made clothing.

“What’s your favorite place in Tokyo?” Chiya asked him suddenly. “Where did you like to go?”

He dropped his chopsticks. Mitsuko half-turned to watch him out of the corner of her eye and he mumbled an apology as he picked the utensils up from his lap. They rattled against each other. Fuyuki set the chopsticks down hastily and changed the cup of rice in his hands with a glass of water. He barely managed to get the cup to his lips without spilling the liquid all over himself. He took a long swallow to avoid answering the question.

“Come on, tell me. What’s Tokyo like? I’ve never been to a big city.”

“Chiya!” Shouko admonished, her words overlapping Fuyuki’s answer.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen the city.”

Fuyuki flushed as Chiya whipped her head around to gawk at him. He shuddered slightly, feeling the few tiny remnants of his appetite flee.

“But you lived there!”

He forced a smile on his face. He felt like he was going to be sick. Shouko was giving him a way out, an excuse to stop talking but his mouth kept moving on his own. “I haven’t been outside since I was seven.”

The other conversations at the table died. Fuyuki seemed to have that effect. He turned to smile at Mitsuko. “If you don’t mind, could you please help me back to my room? I’m not feeling well.”

“Of course.” Mitsuko started to rise but her husband stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Wait. I’ll do it.”

Fuyuki felt the blood drain from his face as fear washed over him. It was irrational, he knew, but he couldn’t stop himself. He slid back from the table, trying to put distance between himself and the other man.

“No.” He couldn’t hide his shaking. The front of his kimono had fallen loose and he quickly pulled his legs in, rearranging the cloth to hide his skin.

Hakuto froze mid-kneel. He exchanged a quick glance with his wife before settling back. “Okay.”

Mitsuko’s hand brushed Hakuto’s arm as she stood. She smiled at him as she crossed the short distance to help him to his feet. Once more he felt the eyes in the room following him. He kept his head down, thankful that his long hair hid his face as they limped out of the room.

When they were halfway to Fuyuki’s room, Mitsuko spoke. “I’m sorry – for Hakuto and Chiya. They didn’t mean to upset you.”

He couldn’t look at her. “I know.” It didn’t make him any less afraid. The sheer thought of being touched by a man, by someone other than Shin, terrified him. He knew Hakuto was likely a good guy, but he’d met a lot of men who’d seemed nice at first only to hurt him. He was terrified that maybe that was something in him, something that made men want to hurt him. He couldn’t stand it if Hakuto turned out that way too.

Mitsuko spoke again when they reached his room. “Do you want me to bring up some food for you?”

He shook his head.

Mitsuko helped him to bed without a word. He settled down on his stomach, knowing that sleep would be a long time in coming. Mitsuko tucked the blankets around him, then moved around the room, dousing the lights and sliding the outer door partially shut. He listened to her move around the room. The sounds of the house were growing familiar, like a strange lullaby that set him at ease.

He heard her slide the door open to leave.

“Wait.”

She paused. He closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice shook but he forced himself to continue. He wanted them to understand, but at the same time he was afraid of what they would think of him. He trusted Mitsuko with the truth. He owed her that much. “I… I can’t help how I react, but… I know your husband didn’t mean any harm. When… when I was a child…” He choked on the words. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he forced himself to keep talking, even as tears welled. “…seven… my uncle sold me. I was taken to the house in Tokyo and… there were men…”

“I understand.” She cut him off. “I’ve seen those kinds of wounds before.”

He muffled his sob into the pillow. They knew. They had known. Shame welled up inside of him, bringing a fresh wave of tears.

“It’s not your fault.”

Fuyuki froze. He was certain he hadn’t heard her right.

“Call me if you need anything.”

The door slid shut, leaving him alone with the darkness. He stared at the door for a long time afterwards, his mind too active for sleep.

*****

His dreams turned strange that night. He imagined he was back in the bleak, desolate landscape, lost, wandering all alone. Sometimes he’d come by one of the blackened trees and one of the women would be there, sitting in the branches. Shouko spoke to him in riddles that made no sense. Mitsuko sang to him, but it always sounded so sad. Miyuko and Chiya chattered at him, asking questions about where he’d been and what he’d done, growing bolder each time he didn’t answer until they were asking him pointed questions about the kinds of things he’d been forced to do at the House of Falling Leaves. He ran once they started to ask details about his clients.

It seemed like he was running forever, stumbling over the unchanging landscape. His leg hurt, but he kept going, moving forward despite the pain. His foot hit a rock and he stumbled. Suddenly the featureless plain gave way to a steep slope and he fell, hitting his legs and shoulders against the jagged rocks. His head bounced against a rock as he hit the bottom, leaving him stunned, in a sprawling heap at the base of the slope.

Footsteps echoed along the rock and he turned his head slowly to watch Hakuto approached. The man was unfastening his pants, a wicked leer stretched across his face. He tried to move away but his head was still fuzzy, his limbs wouldn’t respond.

“Wake up.”

The barren landscape disappeared, resolving into his dark bedroom. He shot upright and then hissed in pain as his back burned. Two arms caught him before he could fall and he found his head pillowed against chilled fabric. His hand clenched in the material and he shifted closer, his breathing still heavy from the panic of the dream. He guessed that his head was somewhere near the vicinity of Shin’s shoulder. It was too dark to make out details but he thought he saw the thick column of Shin’s throat in front of him.

They stayed like that for several minutes, neither moving, neither speaking, until Fuyuki’s breathing calmed. He felt safe. That was a strange feeling for him, unfamiliar. He hadn’t remembered feeling like that since he was a child, living with his grandmother and his uncle’s family. Experience had shown him that that sort of safety was just an illusion. It could be snatched away at any time.

He didn’t want Shin to be taken away from him.

“I’m not afraid of you,” he whispered and curled against Shin’s body, seeking comfort in their closeness.

“You should be.”

He nodded against Shin’s shoulder. “I know, but I’m not. I always thought death would be a release. I thought that dying was the only way I was going to get out of that place. At times I even begged for death, because it meant I wouldn’t hurt anymore.”

A hand settled on his lower back. It didn’t move to caress him, didn’t offer any comfort beyond the solidity of its presence, but that was enough for him.

“I was afraid when I first saw you. I wasn’t ready to die, but I think I should have. I don’t belong here.”

A slight weight pressed against the top of his head as he was pulled closer. Two arms circled him, holding him in place in Shin’s lap. Shin’s voice sounded from directly above him. “You don’t like it here?”

“I do. They’re very nice.” He paused, trying to think of a way to describe his unease. “But I’m afraid of them. I don’t know… I’m not used to life outside. I don’t belong with a normal family. It’s all foreign to me, and I think…” His voice cracked and he tightened his hand against Shin’s shirt. “I think I should have died. It would have been better that way.”

One of Shin’s hands moved to card through his hair. Fuyuki turned his head, tilting back until he was mostly certain that he was looking up into Shin’s face.

“Will you take me with you?”

He didn’t give Shin time to respond. Fuyuki shifted slightly, placing one hand on Shin’s shoulder for balance and then pushing up. His lips found Shin’s lips. He kissed him, softly, chastely. It was the first time he’d voluntarily kissed another man.

Shin moved, unceremoniously dumping Fuyuki from his lap and back onto the futon. Fuyuki scrambled upright, ignoring the pain and looking around for Shin. Everything was shadow.

“Shin?”

There was no answer.

“Shin, I’m sorry.”

The wind chimes rang softly as a breeze blew into the room. He knew he was alone again.

Fuyuki let himself fall back to bed and cursed himself. He had a feeling he’d just messed everything up, and he didn’t know if he’d ever get a chance to fix it.

*****

“You seem troubled.”

Fuyuki paused outside of Shouko’s doorway. Mitsuko had suggested days ago that he try walking along the covered porch outside. He hadn’t managed to get very far at first, but his leg was getting better. The railing helped, giving him something to support his weight as he walked.

He turned to stare out over the countryside. Shouko’s house was located on the outskirts of the village. There was a dirt road that wound down the hill, and all around them an expanse of harvested fields. The mountains stood tall in the distance, like stoic sentinels keeping watch over the valley.

“Is something wrong?”

He glanced over at the old woman. She was smart, and obviously more familiar with Shin than he was. With a sigh, Fuyuki turned, leaning his weight against the railing.

“I’m afraid that I might have upset Shin.”

Shouko chuckled. “That is a very difficult thing to do.”

He felt his face flush as he remembered the kiss. “And yet, I’m pretty sure I managed it.”

“And how is that so?”

His blush deepened and he found he couldn’t look at the old woman and speak at the same time. “I kissed him.”

“Ah.” She didn’t sound surprised. “I did that once too, many years ago.”

Fuyuki’s head shot up. He clicked his jaw shut, trying hard not to gawk and failing.

Shouko just laughed. “It’s not that surprising. I was young once, and he’s very handsome. He didn’t feel the same, but he was polite. He will respect your feelings. You shouldn’t worry.”

He sighed and stared down at the wooden floor. “I can’t help myself.”

“Your problem is that you are idle. Come in.”

He glanced curiously at the old woman. She smiled back and stood, moving to pull a small trunk out from against the wall. Fuyuki hobbled unsteadily across the porch and into the room, half falling to the floor opposite where Shouko had been sitting.

“Has anyone mentioned what we do here?”

He shook his head. All he knew was that it involved clothing.

She smiled and opened the trunk, pulling out a few small scraps of cloth. She placed them in front of him and then pulled out a small box from the trunk, opening it to reveal a set of thick needles and thread.

“We embroider,” she said. “You shall learn.”

She handed him a threaded needle before he could protest. He stared at it, slightly curious about how his attempt would turn out. He’d never sewn anything before, never even held a needle in his hand, but he wanted to try. He doubted he would ever be good enough to actually make anything worth selling but the thought of trying, of actually attempting to work like a normal person, made him inexplicably happy.

“You start like this,” she said, and showed him how to push the needle through the thread, making a small stitch in the fabric.

He listened to the woman talk and forgot about shinigami for a short while.

*****

“Fuyuki.”

He turned away from the wash basin and froze, staring at the man who’d appeared rather suddenly in his bedroom.

“Shin.”

The shinigami was watching him from near the doorway. He leaned against the wall as if he’d been there for hours, but Fuyuki knew the man hadn’t been there a minute ago.

“You’re better?”

He nodded slowly. “Mostly. My ankle’s not fully healed but I can walk on it for a little bit.” He waited a moment but Shin seemed to have finished talking for now. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “For kissing you. I shouldn’t have.”

The shinigami frowned slightly and pushed away from the wall. Fuyuki’s gaze followed the edge of his clothing, fascinated by the way the edges blurred into shadow.

“Why not?”

He looked up at the shinigami, startled. “I… because you didn’t want me to.”

“Ah. You think I didn’t want your kiss?”

Fuyuki shifted nervously and stood. He tossed the towel he’d been using to wash his face aside and glanced over at the shinigami. The man’s face was blank, hiding any trace of emotion.

“Did… did you want me to kiss you?”

The shinigami’s head tilted slightly. He continued to stare at Fuyuki. “I thought you were afraid.”

Fuyuki frowned. “I said I wasn’t afraid of you.”

“Of men. Of what they have done to you.”

He felt his face flush and shifted on his feet. His eyes fixated on one of the frames on the wall. “Not if it’s you. You… you saved me, and I thought… I thought it would be okay if you hurt me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t want to be hurt.”

He could hear Shin moving and he knew that the shinigami was making himself heard on purpose. He’d seen Shin move without a sound before. It was somewhat comforting. He kept his eyes on the wall as Shin moved closer. Soft fingers turned his head until he was looking up at the shinigami.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Shin repeated. Then, Shin kissed him.

It was different from most of the kisses Fuyuki had received in his life. Shin’s lips pressed against his softly, a barely there pressure that pulled away after a moment. When it returned, Fuyuki was ready. He opened his mouth, letting Shin inside. He felt a brief thrill of victory as Shin’s tongue slowly slid against his own. Hands settled on his hips, not holding but just resting there.

He knew what Shin was doing. The shinigami was being gentle with him, keeping his touch light enough that Fuyuki could pull away if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to.

His arms wrapped around the shinigami’s neck as he stepped closer, encouraging Shin to strengthen their touch. Instead, Shin pulled away. He chuckled slightly as Fuyuki’s mouth trailed his, briefly chasing after their lost kiss.

“I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

That was probably one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to him. Fuyuki closed his eyes and let his head rest against Shin’s chest. He wasn’t sure where to go from here. He only knew one way of handling men, only one way of binding them to him and keeping them coming back. The thought crossed his mind and he examined the emotions attached. He wasn’t afraid of being with Shin. It would be okay, if it meant that the shinigami would come back.

“You won’t,” Fuyuki answered and shifted to pull Shin into a deep kiss.

He dropped one hand to the tie around his kimono and unbelted it with one hand. He shrugged out of the fabric, smiling slightly as Shin’s hands rested in the small of his naked back.

Fuyuki moved backwards, maneuvering until they were over the futon and then pulling Shin down with him. The shinigami settled between his legs, a solid weight that secured him to the floor, making him feel safe. His back hurt slightly where it pressed again the floor but he ignored it as he slid a hand inside of the shinigami’s pants.

He was almost surprised when his hands found hard evidence of the shinigami’s pleasure. He’d almost convinced himself that the shinigami didn’t want him, that he didn’t feel anything when he kissed Fuyuki. Those worries evaporated as he wrapped his fingers around the shinigami’s erection. He felt human, hot and heavy in Fuyuki’s hand. It was something familiar and yet altogether not at the same time.

The shinigami shifted, sliding his pants down until Fuyuki’s hand was free of the fabric. He smiled into their kiss and lifted his legs, hooking his ankles over the backs of the shinigami’s thighs.

He jumped when a hand circled his own erection. Usually, clients didn’t touch him, not unless they were fucking him at the same time, and they only rarely bothered with that. He found he didn’t mind when Shin touched him. It felt good, getting better by the minute as Shin’s fingers lazily played with his flesh, teasing him until he was writhing and gasping into Shin’s mouth. His other hand moved over Fuyuki’s body, trailing up his sides, teasing over his nipples and then sliding back down, circling his hip until it could slip around behind him.

A cool finger slid inside of him and that was all it took to make Fuyuki come. He cried out softly, moaning as the noise of his release was swallowed by Shin’s insistent mouth. His legs slipped to fall flat on the floor.

Belatedly, he realized that Shin was still hard in his hand. He blushed and started to move his hand again but Shin stopped him. One of the shinigami’s hands closed over Fuyuki’s and together they stroked along Shin’s erection, sliding along the engorged flesh until Shin finally came, his seed spilling like cool water over Fuyuki’s hand.

“Thank you,” the shinigami said as he pulled away.

Fuyuki moaned slightly and tried to grab at the shinigami’s clothing, but his hand fell through empty air. Shin moved away, returning after a moment with a wet cloth that he used to wipe the spilled seed off of Fuyuki’s chest and genitals. The covers were pulled up to Fuyuki’s chin and he tried to protest but no words would come out.

“Sleep,” Shin crooned softly. “I’ll be back.”

Fuyuki curled around his pillow and let himself fall asleep.

*****

This is what normal life is like, Fuyuki thought to himself as he followed Chiya and Miyuko though the streets of the small village. He stayed close to the girls but his eyes wandered, taking in all of the strange shops and the myriad of people who bustled around the marketplace. A man brushed too close and Fuyuki was proud of himself for not instantly pulling away. These were normal people, simple farmers for the most part. They weren’t interested in him or what he’d once done.

He kept repeating that to himself, over and over again, but he couldn’t help but feel a little unnerved as they walked further into town. There were so many strangers here, so many unknowns.

The girls were talking softly, repeating for possibly the fifth time since they’d started to walk to the village what all they wanted to buy and the people they wanted to meet up with. Fuyuki had grown somewhat used to the girls’ chatter, glad that they left him out of it for the most part. He had a feeling that Shouko had scolded Chiya after Fuyuki’s first night at dinner because the young woman had yet to ask him about his past.

A shiver suddenly ran up Fuyuki’s spine. Someone was watching him. He glanced around nervously but didn’t see anyone that particularly stood out.

“Fuyuki, we’re going to step inside for a minute. We’ll be right back.”

“What?” Fuyuki turned to look at the girls. He’d been lost in thought, and had barely noticed when they’d stopped next to a small house.

Miyuko smiled at him. “We’re just going to pop in for a minute and say hi. You’ll be fine on your own, won’t you?”

He swallowed down his initial reply and nodded. He refused to act like a child that needed supervision. Nothing was going to happen to him up here. He was safe.

Chiya and Miyuko smiled at him and then disappeared into the house. Fuyuki shifted on his feet and turned slightly to examine the area. There was a small stand of fruit next door and he wandered over to it, looking but not touching.

“I haven’t seen you around here before.”

Fuyuki jumped as a man spoke behind him. He turned, offering an uneasy smile and forcing himself not to back away. “I… I live with Shouko.” He waved vaguely in the direction that they’d come from.

“Is that so?” The man smiled at him in a way that made him nervous. A hand settled on Fuyuki’s arm, reminding him of the way his clients used to touch him. He started to pull away but the hand on his arm tightened. The man leaned forward, still smiling, and whispered in Fuyuki’s ear. “Castle’s friends have been looking for you.”

Fuyuki felt his world fall apart.

*****

It was dark and cold. Fuyuki wasn’t sure where he’d been taken. The stranger in the market place had brought him to a train and from there it had been a flash of unfamiliar landscape. More men met them when the train stopped again and Fuyuki found himself shuffled from one hard grip to two as men flanked him on either side. They wrapped a cloth around his eyes and tied his hands behind his back. The cloth was gone now, but the rope remained biting into his flesh and rubbing his skin raw every time he moved.

He hurt, though that was to be expected when Castle was involved. He’d hoped he’d avoided any more such pain after the man’s death, but his friends seemed just as cruel.

He’d been brought to a strange house. The men there had asked him questions. They hadn’t liked his answers. Fists had been replaced by feet, then belts and boards. He didn’t know what they were looking for but he answered honestly, knowing they wouldn’t believe him when he said that a shinigami had killed Castle.

From the first time he’d met Castle, he’d known that the man had been involved in something unsavory and these men, his former associates, were further proof of that. They knew where Fuyuki had come from. He’d been forced to his knees the first night he’d been brought here. Another form of interrogation, they’d called it, but there wasn’t anything more he could tell them.

He was sore. His memory was starting to blur. He couldn’t remember how long it’d been since they’d tossed him down into the cold, dark room. The walls and floor were stone. There was nothing down here, just blank walls and a short set of stone stairs that led up to the metal door. He was starting to hate the sound of the key scraping in the lock, signaling that they were about to drag him out to ask him more questions. He hated the sound of the door slamming shut more.

The silence was starting to get to him. He was hungry. They had yet to give him any food. He was certain at least a handful of days had passed since he’d been dragged from the marketplace, but he had no way of knowing for sure. His sense of time was limited to being stuck in the stone cell or being pressed down into the carpet up above.

He thought he might be getting sick, but he wasn’t certain. He almost wished he was.

He hoped Shin came for him when he died.

The door creaked open. Fuyuki turned his head away, moaning as bright light momentarily blinded him. Hands grabbed him around the arms, dragging him up the stairs. His feet bounced off each step. He was fairly certain that at least one of his legs was broken.

They moved down a now-familiar hall and into the usual room. All of the furniture had been pushed against the walls. His captors let him go in the center of the room. He fell to his knees. A hand in his hair kept him from pitching forward.

“Hello.”

It took Fuyuki a moment to focus on the speaker. This man was new. He had blonde hair and a thick, round belly. He wore a brown suit with a red shirt. His shoes glinted faintly.

“You’re the prostitute that killed Castle.”

He shook his head as much as the hand in his hair would allow. “No.”

“Ah. Then who did?”

“Shin.” He’d told them this before but they didn’t believe him. He doubted this new man would either.

The man smiled slightly and looked between the two men flanking Fuyuki. “Ah, yes, the man who doesn’t exist. You said he was what… Death? Do you honestly expect us to believe that Castle, our dear boy Castle, was killed by a ghost?”

He whimpered, knowing from experience what was about to come. The new man fell into the same patterns as all of Fuyuki’s previous interrogators. A hand struck him across the face, sending him reeling into the man on his right.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know.”

He tensed as the hand struck him again. He spat blood onto the carpet. The man sighed.

“I was hoping to avoid this, you know. This was always more of Castle’s game.”

The man signaled with his hand and Fuyuki was let go. He fell face first onto the carpet, too weak to try and run. He knew he wouldn’t have gotten far, even if he had been able. The man crossed the room to the desk and pulled a coil of leather from one of the drawers. Fuyuki whimpered and closed his eyes. His tears were soaked up by the carpet.

“Please. No.”

His begging had as little effect on this man as it had on the last. He screamed as the whip bit into his flesh, tracing blazing lines of pain down his back and over his arms. It cracked in the air, giving him brief warning before it landed on his flesh. All he could do was scream.

“How did you kill him?” The man asked.

Fuyuki answered in between sob. “Shin… It was Shin… Please… Please stop.”

He felt welts reopen on his back as the whip raised new ones, making him bleed once more. He lost count of how many times the man hit him. His questions stopped making sense. Fuyuki sobbed, lost in the pain.

“I give up. You can have him, boys.”

He was grateful enough when the whip was taken away that he didn’t particularly care as one of his body guards spread his legs. Hands grabbed his hips, pulling him up to his knees. He had a second’s warning before he was entered roughly, without preparation or lube. Another scream tore from his throat, more tears joining the rest soaking into the carpet.

At times like this he forced himself to remember Shin. He placed his memories of the shinigami on top of the present, drowning out the harsh slap of skin on skin in favor of remembering the gentle way Shin had touched him. The memory of kindness was all he had left. At least these men were quick. It didn’t take long before the first was grunting and spilling his speed inside of him. The second always went smoother. Fuyuki was already loosened up, if painfully, and the seed from the first acted as a little bit of lubricant. He whimpered as his face rubbed harshly against the carpet as he was jostled back and forward in time with the man’s thrusts.

He was grabbed by the arms again when the men were done, too worn out to do anything beyond hang limply from their grasp. The door to his cell screeched open. He hit his head on the floor as they tossed him in and everything faded to darkness.

*****

He woke up to the sound of bells. It was still dark, but he could hear something moving in the darkness. He wasn’t alone.

A hand settled against his cheek. He was too tired to do anything but moan as the fingers pressed against raw skin.

“Fuyuki?”

He knew that voice. He smiled and let his face press against the hand.

“Can you hear me?”

He shifted his head up and down, the movement barely more than a fraction but it was the best he could manage.

“Good.” Fingers ran through his hair. The gentleness of the touch made him ache. “It’s time to let go.”

Fuyuki looked up into the darkness. Slowly, features emerged. He saw blue eyes above a gentle smile. Shin’s face slowly emerged from the darkness. He seemed to be glowing slightly. After a moment, Shin stepped back. He held out his hand towards Fuyuki.

He’d be alright, he realized suddenly. Shin was here. He was safe now. The pain that had been his constant companion the last few days disappeared and he smiled up at the shinigami. Shin would make everything better. Slowly, Fuyuki stood and took Shin’s hand.

The sound of bells filled the small cell as they left.

Dec 02 2009

Legends Reborn

Merlin felt the entire world freeze as the arrow pierced Arthur’s heart. He wasn’t entirely certain that the world hadn’t frozen, that his magic hadn’t stuck everyone in their place. All he knew was that he couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Arthur’s fingers relaxed, breaking the stillness that had fallen over the area. Suddenly there were more sounds and movement than Merlin could track. None of it mattered.

Arthur’s sword hit the ground first. His body followed shortly after. Merlin knew he was screaming, but he couldn’t hear it, he couldn’t hear anything. He ran, not bothering to dodge or move between the combatants. They flew out of his way, both friends and foes, but the foes didn’t get back up again after they landed. He was exposing himself. Everyone would know he was a wizard but he didn’t care.

His magic was out of control. Arrows turned midair and sped back towards the archers that had fired them, spent arrows lifting off of the ground to join the barrage, leaving the enemy archers stuck like human pincushions. Swords were being lowered as the combatants on both sides slowly started to notice the mage in their midst, but that didn’t stop his magic from striking out at anything he viewed as an enemy. Men were ripped apart, barely having time to scream before their lives were cut short.

He felt nothing.

Arthur’s body had landed on the ground between a large rock and a fallen tree. It formed a sheltered hollow, the perfect cover from the fight raging around him. No amount of cover could help Arthur now. Merlin fell to his knees next to Arthur. The blonde prince turned to look at him. His eyes focused on Merlin for a brief moment and then closed. Arthur stopped breathing.

Destiny shattered and Merlin broke with it. He screamed, mindless with grief and rage. The forest around them was being ripped to shreds. Distantly, he heard people running. Uther was out there somewhere, out with his troops. Merlin was keeping him from seeing his son. Tears fell from his eyes and he curled in towards Arthur, resting his head on Arthur’s chest.

Arthur was dead. His destiny, their destiny, was over. Nothing mattered anymore. He’d failed.

“I’ll find you again,” he whispered. “I’ll find you and I’ll fix this.”

His magic raged, consuming everything in its path. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tired beyond words. He couldn’t think anymore. He couldn’t control his magic and instead it was controlling him. When the magical tempest finally died, so did he.

*****

He was late. Merlin clutched his notebook close to his chest as he ran down the halls. They were mostly empty. Few students ventured into this section of campus unless they had a reason to be there. For him, it was home.

He’d overslept. The dreams were back again, stronger than ever. Even now, he still felt disconnected and disoriented, like his world wasn’t what it was supposed to be.

The doors to the classroom were shut. He skidded to a halt outside the room and paused for a moment to catch his breath. As soon as his breathing evened out, he carefully grabbed the handle and willed it not to make a sound as he opened the door. He slid inside the room and shut the door quietly behind him. The back row was full but there were a number of open seats in the middle. He slid down the third row from the back and was almost into a seat when Professor Gaius turned.

“Ah, Merlin, so glad you could join us.”

He winced and dropped his notebook onto the desk.

“Perhaps you would care to summarize last night’s reading for the class.”

A smile stretched across his face and he leaned against the desk, palms flat against the wood. “Of course, Professor. ‘The Dream of Rhonabwy’ follows Rhonabwy as he searches for the prince’s brother Iorwerth. During his journey, he dreams that he was been transported back to the Arthurian age. In this story, Arthur did not die during the Battle of Camlann…” He felt a shiver pass through him and swallowed around the lump in his throat. “…as the majority of the Arthurian legends hold, but rather lived on. Rhonabwy watches a game of gwyddbwyll – a game like chess – between Arthur and Owain mab Urien, who we read about last week as ‘Yvain, the Knight of the Lion’.”

From the looks on several of the other students’ faces, they hadn’t made that connection.

Gaius nodded his approval. “And what does the game stand for?”

He shifted slightly on his feet. “It’s an allegory for battle. While they play, Arthur’s men harass Owain’s ravens and vice versa. When the game ends, so does the conflict between Arthur and Owain, and a truce is called before they arrive at the Battle of Baddon. There are some who believe that the game itself is supernatural in nature, and that a win in gwyddbwyll guarantees a win in battle.”

“Correct.” Gaius turned back to the board, where he’d been outlining the characters that appeared in ‘The Dream of Rhonabwy’ and how they related to Arthurian myth.

Merlin slowly lowered himself into his chair. He opened his notebook and dutifully copied down Gaius’s notes though he didn’t need to. A few of his classmates were watching him. They were all new students. Either this was their first venture into the history department or they’d yet to cross over into Merlin’s area of specialty – Arthurian legends. Gaius, of course, knew that, or he wouldn’t have put Merlin on the spot as soon as he’d walked in.

He wondered how many of the students here would end up in Merlin’s follow-up course next semester.

A sudden headache made him close his eyes for a moment. He forced himself to keep breathing evenly. The power was there, waiting. A small breeze ran through the room, ruffling the papers of his notebook. He clenched his hands underneath the table, bunching up the fabric of his jeans.

When he opened his eyes, Gaius was still lecturing but his eyes kept turning towards Merlin. His vision blurred and he saw Gaius not as he was but older and wearing brown robes. He shook his head to clear his vision and had a strange sense of foreboding.

A pawn captures a pawn and advances forward.

Merlin shivered and stopped taking notes.

*****

Arthur sat beside his father, across from the Prime Minister, Tom Jones. He only gave the meeting half an ear. They were talking about a special museum exhibit that was being set up. His mind and attention drifted. There were days, like today, when he felt like he was destined for more than this, that his life was wasted on meetings and college and social obligations. He was a prince but it meant nothing. There were no princesses to rescue, no dragons to slay, no epic battles waiting for him. That was the stuff of legends. His life was anything but.

“The President of Ireland will be visiting in two weeks time,” the Prime Minister said, pulling Arthur’s attention back to the meeting. “She’ll be bringing her daughter Nimueh with her. We’re hoping to coincide her arrival with the exhibit opening. PR is spinning it as a display of our shared cultural heritage.”

Uther shot Arthur a pointed look and the prince bit back a groan. He didn’t mind visiting dignitaries, but he hated it when they had daughters. It was widely assumed that he was going to marry Guinevere Jones, the Prime Minister’s daughter, but that didn’t stop his father from throwing every eligible bachelorette of semi-noble birth or high political rank Arthur’s way.

He really wished people would stop trying to plan out his life for him.

His phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He palmed the device and slipped it into his lap. Two quick taps on the screen brought up the text message. Gwen wanted to go shopping. He swallowed another groan.

*****

Gaius was waiting for him in his office when Merlin finally finished his classes for the day. He dropped his bag on the desk and pulled a can of soda from the box in the corner. Gaius gave him a stern look from behind Merlin’s desk.

“One of these years I’m not going to let you sit in on my class, Merlin.”

He shot Gaius his most charming smile. “But then you wouldn’t have anyone to talk to in class.”

The look Gaius gave him in return was not amused. He turned pointedly to the couch in the corner, now partially obscured by an avalanche of papers. There was a pillow at one end and a rumpled blanket spread across it. Merlin winced. He was busted.

“You have a perfectly adequate, if somewhat unkempt, apartment, Merlin. Perhaps you should consider visiting it sometime.”

He blushed and dropped into the wooden chair on the other side of the desk. “I was just there the other day.” He neglected to mention that he couldn’t remember exactly which day that had been.

Gaius leaned across the desk towards Merlin, his expression concerned. “Is it the nightmares again?”

He stared down at his hands and fiddled with the tab on the soda can. That was answer enough for Gaius.

The older man sighed. His chair squeaked as he leaned back. “Have they gotten worse?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and looked over at Gaius. The soda can opened with a loud his. He took a sip, giving him time to order his thoughts. “I keep dreaming about Prince Arthur dying, like it was my fault… like I could have stopped it.” He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

The dreams weren’t new. He’d been having them for as long as he could remember. They varied, sometimes pleasant, sometimes not. Recently they’d become more frequent and more… violent. He dreamed about battles and a dragon. He dreamed about magic, stronger magic than he had now.

Gaius was watching him curiously. “You dreamed about the Battle of Camlann? I think perhaps you’ve been reading-”

“No.” He cut Gaius off. His office suddenly felt colder. He shivered. “It wasn’t the Battle of Camlann. It was before that. Long before that, before he was king, before he united Britain.” Just thinking about it brought images flooding through his mind. It felt like he’d been there, like he was still there, stuck in time but parts of it were missing. “There was a skirmish. Arthur and Uther were travelling back from visiting one of the neighboring kings. They were ambushed. I was in the back of the line, too far away to do anything.”

Even now, hours later, the memory of the dream still brought tears to his eyes. He’d woken up crying but the grief had been quickly buried when he’d realized that he was late for Gaius’s class. The dream had been equally sharp and blurry. Parts of it had been crisp. He’d smelled the dirt and leaves around them, felt blood on his hands. Other parts were faint, blurred out as if seen through a fog or haze.

“And the magic?”

Merlin blushed. The papers on his desk shuffled, rearranging themselves into neat piles along the sides. “It keeps getting stronger, all the time but the dreams… the dreams make it act on its own.” He paused. That wasn’t right. He shook his head. “No. It’s reacting. To Arthur’s death.”

Gaius sighed. “Have you talked to your mother?”

He groaned. “No. Not yet.”

He was glad that he had a supportive mother, that she indulged him in his dreams and the magic and his obsession with Arthurian legend, but sometimes it was a bit much. Sometimes she was a bit too supportive. She’d bought him his first book on Arthurian legend, ‘The Lost Years of Merlin’. She’d introduced him to Paganism and New Age and occult interpretations of magic until they’d found something that helped him control what was happening to him. She’d encouraged him to study medieval history and supported him through his Masters and now, his Ph.D.

She was also making a killing off of her latest book series about a young Arthur and Merlin solving magical mysteries in King Uther’s court. There was talk of a TV series. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

“Call her,” Gaius said as he slowly stood. “She has your best interests at heart.”

He said nothing as Gaius walked out. The door shut, leaving Merlin alone with his books. The avalanche of papers on the couch righted themselves into a pile on the round table at the foot of the couch. Food wrappers and soda cans slid into the trash can. His bookshelves tidied themselves until the books were once more aligned and in order.

It was a bit sad that his usual pick-me-up when depressed was magically cleaning whatever room he was in. He must have been a servant in the past life.

A flier slid across his desk, reminding him that there was a new book out on Sir Gawain that he wanted to pick up. He glanced at the couch and debated. It wasn’t a tough decision. If he slept, he’d dream and he wasn’t quite ready to go back to that yet. He grabbed the flier and his coat and headed out the door.

The pawn moved forward.

*****

Arthur stared at the shelves in front of him with mild horror. “You don’t seriously read this trash?”

Gwen shot him a dirty look. “Yes, I read that ‘trash’. Your sister does too, by the way. You should try reading some time. It might help add some actual intelligence inside that dense skull of yours.”

He snorted. “I read.”

“Playboy does not count.”

He tucked his hands in his pocket and glanced around. The book store was thankfully empty, and no one seemed to have recognized either of them. Yet. He looked back at Gwen.

“You don’t read Playboy. And, besides, I do read. Real books, with thick covers and big words and everything.”

She pulled one of the books off of the shelves. It was pink and had a scantily clad woman on the front. Gwen flipped it over, staring at the back while she spoke. “Really? What was the last book you read?”

He thought. “War and Peace.”

She glared at him. “That was in college.”

“I never said that I liked to read, just that I had.”

She put her book back and pulled another one. “That doesn’t count.”

He shot her a look but didn’t argue. He did read, sometimes. It wasn’t his fault that most books were boring. Maybe he’d pick up something with swords and sorcery and dragons. That might be interesting. He moved a bit down the row and started scanning titles. One of the books caught his eye. It had dragons in the title. Gwen watched him as he pulled the book off the shelf and scanned the back. Her smile shifted wider.

“You know, that’s the wrong section to be looking in if you want to dispel rumors about being gay.”

“What?” He stared between her and the bookshelf, confused.

She pointed at the section in front of her. “Straight romance.” She pointed in front of him. “Gay romance.”

A look of horror spread across his face. She started laughing.

“That’s not funny.”

He threw the book at her, suddenly feeling childish and out of sorts. She ducked. The person walking around the corner behind her wasn’t so lucky. Arthur cringed as it hit the young man square in the forehead. The man wobbled but stayed upright, his hand shooting out to grab onto the bookshelf to steady himself.

“Are you alright?”

The man looked up at him. He had messy black hair and large ears. His face was rather boyish. His eyes sparkled strangely and seemed a bit out of focus. Arthur stepped forward, concerned that the man hadn’t answered him.

“Are you alright?”

When the man didn’t answer, he gently touched the man’s forehead, checking for a lump. A jolt of electricity shot through him. He tried to pull his hand back but it wouldn’t move. The man shivered. Behind him, Arthur heard Gwen squawk as books fell off the shelves around him. Arthur stared. The man’s eyes were glowing blue. A strange feeling passed through him. He felt like he knew this man.

Suddenly he could move again. He pulled his hand away as the man’s eyes rolled back in his head. The strange man fell backwards, landing on a pile of books.

“Dear lord, is he alright?” Gwen asked from right behind Arthur.

“We have to go.” He needed to get out of here. He needed to go.

“What?” Gwen protested. He ignored her, grabbing her hand and pulling her from the store.

A name stuck in his mind as they walked out and he knew, without really knowing how he knew, that it belonged to the strange young man. The name was Merlin.

*****

Merlin woke with a startled gasp. He shot upright in bed. At the edge of his slowly returning consciousness he registered confusion. This wasn’t his room or any room that he recognized, but the confusion was secondary in importance to the wealth of information that was flooding into his brain. He remembered. Everything. It all made sense now – his dreams, the magic, Arthur.

“Merlin!” His mother’s concerned voice cut through him. He winced at the lingering pain in his head.

“Not so loud, please, mother.”

Hunith bustled through the doorway and into the tiny room. Hospital, he vaguely identified, though he had no idea how he’d gotten here. The last thing he remembered was being in the bookstore and Arthur – that had to have been Arthur, even though he’d been wearing a hat and sunglasses and trying to hide his features, Merlin still knew that he’d met, touched Prince Arthur – had touched him. When Arthur’s hand had connected with his head, he’d felt a spark and then it was like the gates of his mind had been opened. He’d seen everything, remembered everything about who they’d been.

“Are you alright?” Hunith asked. She hovered at the edge of his bed and took his hand in hers. “What happened? They said you passed out in the bookstore.”

He suddenly remembered why the front of his head hurt so much. The door slammed across the room. “That prat threw a book at me!”

Hunith arched an eyebrow. “Prat?”

“Arthur!” He groaned and clutched his head as it throbbed in pain again.

He could feel Arthur, like they were connected now, bound together by a thin string of fate. There were other strings too, reaching out from him to form a web of destiny. They were all part of it – him, his mother, Arthur, Gaius. Destiny was pulling them all together, trying to mirror the past.

“Arthur? Did you have another dream?”

He heard voices down the hall. A nurse was coming to check on him.

“Yes,” he answered automatically, then thought about what she must have assumed. “No. That was different. I met the real Arthur, the present-day Prince Arthur, and the prat threw a book at me.” He gestured towards the bruise he felt on his forehead.

“Really!?” Hunith leaned forward. “What was he like?”

He bit back his automatic response. He remembered what Arthur had been like – annoying, incorrigible, arrogant, adorable, charming, the most handsome man alive…. Merlin shook his head to dispel those thoughts. They’d gotten him nowhere in his past life, he doubted he’d get anywhere thinking like that in this life.

“I don’t really know. I walked into the aisle he was standing in, a book hit me on the head, and I…” remembered everything… “passed out.” He paused. If there was anyone who would believe him, it was his mother. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

The door opened, cutting off Hunith’s response. A confused looking nurse walked in, followed by a doctor. His mother stood, intercepting them. Merlin settled back against the bed. His head hurt. He wanted to see Arthur again.

The opposing queen stepped forward.

*****

Arthur pasted a smile on his face and bowed to each of the dignitaries from Ireland. Beside him, his sister Morgana curtsied and murmured pleasantries for the both of them.

“Do you believe in destiny?” He whispered between bows.

She glanced sideways and curtsied again. Her smile turned sharp around the edges. “You mean like how you’re destined to be a complete idiot until the day you die?”

He barely resisted the urge to glare. “I mean like how people are destined to do certain things or destined to meet certain people?”

The last of the dignitaries passed and they shifted back towards the edges of the throne room, safely out of earshot of anyone besides the palace guards.

Morgana grinned at him. “Aww, does someone have a crush?”

He did glare this time, but he kept it short, the look there and gone in a second. “No. I just met someone the other day and we… connected. I can’t stop thinking about him.” It wasn’t a crush. He wasn’t even attracted to the other man. Okay, maybe a little but seriously, who had ears that big?

“What’s his name?” Morgana sounded far too smug.

He started to answer, to say ‘Merlin’ and then stopped himself. “I don’t know. He was kind of passing out at the time.”

Morgana giggled. Arthur rolled his eyes. She was having far too much fun mocking him, but that was fairly standard for his life. “Aww, did he faint at the sight of your handsome visage?”

A blush painted his cheeks and he groaned at the memory. “No. I kind of… hithimintheheadwithabook.” The last part came out as a rush of sounds.

She raised an eyebrow. “What?”

He sighed and shifted on his feet. In front of them, Uther was giving a speech on how great it was to have the Irish President and her daughter visiting and how close their two nations were. The daughter, Nimueh, was looking at him with a smug smile. He didn’t like her.

“I hit him in the head with a book.”

Morgana stared at him. “Why?” She drew the word out and he winced at the accusing tone.

Arthur squirmed. “I didn’t mean to. I was trying to hit Gwen.”

Morgana’s eyes narrowed and Arthur knew that if they weren’t in public, she would have hit him. He flinched anyways, remembering how hard she hit.

“Like that makes it any better.”

Gwen stood near the other end of the room, mixed in with the councilmen and staff. She got to sit and not be stared at. Arthur’s envy knew no bounds.

“Did you at least apologize?” Morgana asked.

He flinched, knowing that his next words would definitely earn him a smack as soon as they were out of the throne room. “No, he sort of passed out and we left before the media caught wind of it.”

If looks could kill, Arthur would be a smoldering pile of ash on the floor. He shifted slightly away from his sister.

She glared at him for a moment longer and then visibly calmed. Her gaze turned forward, and outwardly it seemed as if she was paying rapt attention to Uther’s words.

Minutes passed before she spoke again. “If you’re meant to see each other again, you will. Destiny has a strange way of pulling people together.”

He certainly hoped so. He had a feeling that he’d need Merlin before too long.

*****

“I’m fine,” Merlin repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

Hunith started to ask how his head felt again. He hung up and turned the ringer off on his phone. The books in his arms threatened to topple as he reached for the door handle. They stopped midair, holding their place as he opened the door and staying there until he wrapped his arms securely around them again.

Gaius sat behind Merlin’s chest. Merlin shut the door with a groan and then let go of his pile of books. They floated into place around the room.

“Did mother send you to check up on me?”

He dropped onto the couch and threw an arm over his eyes to block out the faint light in the room. His head hurt again. His head seemed to constantly hurt, ever since he’d had that dream, the morning he’d met Arthur.

“Do you need checked up on?”

Merlin would have glared but moving seemed like far too much effort. He groaned instead.

“Like I told mom, I’m fine, really.”

He heard the chair squeak as Gaius shifted. “So you don’t believe you’re the reincarnation of the wizard Merlin?”

This time he did glare. “Nope, still believe that, thank you.”

“I’m not trying to mock you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I can see that. You just think I’m batty.”

Gaius gave him a stern look. “You have a head injury.”

“Had,” he corrected. “I’m fine now.”

They both knew he was lying. He quickly changed the subject.

Merlin stared up at the ceiling. “You know, it’s nothing like the legends. Most of them say that Merlin was a lot older, that he’d shaped Arthur’s destiny and raised him to be a great king, but that’s not at all what it was like.” He closed his eyes. It felt like he was back there, still walking the halls of Camelot. “We were the same age. I was Arthur’s servant and Arthur… he was a great prat, but he would have been an amazing king. He would have united the land and magic would have returned, grown back to the level it was meant to be.”

“But he died.”

Memories started to flood in on him and he snapped his eyes open. The grief of Arthur’s death never quite left him, always hanging at the back of his consciousness, threatening to overwhelm him.

“Yes,” he said, slightly proud that he didn’t choke on the word, not this time. “Yes, he died because I failed to protect him. It was my destiny to make him into a great king and I failed.”

“Perhaps you’ve been given a second chance.”

Merlin stared. Sometimes he felt like Gaius was just humoring him because Merlin was his nephew and his favorite student. But then Gaius would say something like he just had and Merlin knew that he really got it, that he understood how much this strange destiny meant to Merlin.

“Maybe.”

“Do you think he’s in danger?”

As soon as Gaius said the words, he knew. Merlin gasped and his whole body tensed. Images flooded his brain, swirling too fast to get a clear picture but throughout them all one face stood out. He knew that face. He’d killed the woman who held that face.

Merlin sat up quickly. His breaths came harshly. “Dear gods, Nimueh.”

“The Lady of the Lake?”

He shook his head. “Yes. No. She was a sorceress.” Pain shot through his head and he pressed one hand to his forehead. “She wanted to kill Arthur as revenge, because she hated Uther for outlawing magic.”

Gaius was watching him carefully. “And you think she’s a danger?”

He nodded and then groaned as it caused his head to hurt. A bottle of aspirin and can of soda floated over to him. Two pills floated in front of him. He popped the pills and took a swig from the already open can.

“She’s here. I can feel it. It’s like everything’s coming back full circle – me, you, Arthur, Morgana, Guinevere, Lancelot, Nimueh. Destiny’s bringing us all back together again and I’m not quite sure how it’s going to end. I’m not sure what’s going to happen if Arthur dies again.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “You think I’m involved?”

Merlin shifted in his seat. He’d yet to mention much of what he remembered to anyone. “You were my mentor in the past life. Mother – Hunith – sent me to study with you in Camelot. You were the king’s physician, and you taught me magic. You had a book, knew a bit of the old ways.”

The look Gaius shot him was entirely skeptical but he remained silent for several long minutes. Finally Gaius stood.

“I think you need to rest.”

Merlin’s heart fell. He flopped back on the couch. Gaius walked over and pulled the blanket over Merlin’s body. He paused and stared down at Merlin.

“If, like you say, destiny is bringing us all together, I don’t think you need to worry. You’re a different man that you were then. You’re all different. If Arthur is truly in any danger, I trust that you’ll save him.”

Gaius started to move away. Merlin closed his eyes. He heard Gaius start to open the door.

“I was going to wait until I was sure you were well, but the Museum of London is opening a new exhibit on Arthurian Legend. They claim to have gathered real artifacts from the age.” Merlin’s eyes opened and he turned to look at Gaius. “We’ve been invited, as has Prince Arthur. You’ll get to see him again in two days.”

The door closed but Merlin found that sleep was impossible. He was going to see Arthur again.

Destiny was moving forward. He only hoped that he’d be ready for it.

The pawn captured a bishop. The queen waited.

*****

Arthur’s glass nearly slipped from his hand. He stared. Morgana gave him a questioning look then both Morgana and Gwen turned to follow his gaze. Gwen squealed slightly and tugged on Arthur’s sleeve.

“That’s him! That’s the man from the bookstore.”

Morgana gave the man a brief once-over. She smiled. “Not a bad choice, Arthur. I quite approve.” She placed a hand on the small of his back and shoved, causing his drink to slosh onto his hand. “Now get over there and apologize.”

He glared at her. “I don’t need to-”

She smacked him, hard, cutting off what he was going to say.

“Fine.” He downed his wine and dropped the empty glass on a table.

The man didn’t appear to have noticed Arthur yet. His back was towards Arthur as he studied a sword set in the center of the display room. It was supposed to be Excalibur but Arthur had his doubts. He paused next to Merlin and turned to look at the sword. Even for a fake, it was extraordinarily well done. The hilt was gilded and there was a strange series of letters down the blade.

“It’s not real,” the man said before Arthur could speak up.

Arthur looked over at him but the man was still staring at the sword. “Oh?”

“The real one’s at the bottom of a lake. It wasn’t this fancy.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow but couldn’t bring himself to question it. The man spoke like he knew and there was something in Arthur that told him to implicitly trust the man.

After a moment, the man turned. “Hi.” He held out his hand. “I’m Merlin Emrys.”

“Arthur Pendragon.” He took Merlin’s hand. Their flesh touched and once more he felt that strange connection, like destiny was pulling them together.

“I know,” Merlin said. “We’ve met.”

“Sorry.” He gestured towards Merlin’s forehead. There was still a faint bruise there, partially hidden by the fall of Merlin’s hair.

Merlin shifted on his feet, falling into a stance that reminded him of Morgana. He arched an eyebrow. “You threw a book at me.”

Strangers should not be able to make him feel this guilty. “I didn’t mean to. I was trying to hit Gwen.”

“Like that makes it any better.”

He had a strange feeling of déjà vu. Arthur stared at Merlin. “Have you been talking to Morgana?”

Merlin blushed suddenly and seemed out of sorts. He shifted his gaze back to the sword. “No,” Merlin answered too quickly. “We’ve never met.”

Someone was watching them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nimueh hovered in one of the alcoves, talking with King Uther. Merlin shifted beside him and glanced in the same direction. Whatever it was that bothered Arthur about Nimueh, he knew Merlin felt it too. He shifted.

“Want to get a drink?”

Merlin glanced over at him and nodded. Arthur led the way, moving back towards the entrance of the museum where they’d set up an open bar.

“Are you a fan of Arthurian legends?” Arthur asked as they walked. The exhibit opening was a closed event, so Merlin must have had some connection to the museum in order to be invited. He would have remembered if any of the politicians had a son named Merlin.

“You could say that.” Merlin looked uncomfortable for a moment. “I’m a professor actually. I teach Medieval Literature with Professor Gaius Emrys.” He pointed towards a gray-haired man on the opposite side of the room. “My focus is Arthurian Legend.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You’re a professor?” Merlin seemed young for a professor. He appeared to be close to Arthur’s age.

“Assistant Professor. I’m still in graduate school, finishing up my Ph.D.”

“Ah.” He grinned suddenly. “Isn’t that weird, though? I mean, I’m Arthur Pendragon, Guinevere is over there.” He pointed. “You’re Merlin. All we need now is Lancelot and the other Knights of the Round Table.”

Merlin blushed suddenly and coughed. “I know Lancelot actually.”

They reached the bar. “So you’re friends with Lancelot? Coincidence is a scary thing.” Arthur picked up two glasses of white wine and handed one to Merlin, who downed his quickly.

“Ex-boyfriend, actually.” Suddenly all of Arthur’s attention was on Merlin. His body felt hot. “And I don’t believe in coincidence.”

A grin spread across Arthur’s face and he switched Merlin’s glass with a full one. Suddenly his night was looking a lot better.

*****

Merlin giggled, though he wasn’t sure what he was giggling at or why. The joke Arthur had told wasn’t even that funny, he just knew that he wanted to laugh suddenly and couldn’t stop. Arthur’s arm was around his shoulders and he leaned against Merlin, his body pressing against Merlin’s in a way that made his skin tingle. He was fairly certain that he hadn’t gotten his keys properly in the lock, but the door had opened for him anyways. The lights flickered on as they entered.

If Arthur noticed anything odd, he didn’t say anything about it. “You live here?” The prince’s voice was a mix between curiosity and disgust.

“No,” he giggled, “I just thought it’d be fun to break into some other Arthurian-obsessed history nut’s apartment.”

The room was slowly cleaning itself. Socks slid out of the way to hide under the couch. Garbage rolled through the shadows to bounce into the trash can. He had a feeling the kitchen and bedroom were being less covert.

Arthur was too busy staring at Merlin’s packed bookshelves to notice. “Did you actually read all of these?”

He felt himself automatically slipping into his old insolence. It was a reflex. He couldn’t help himself. “No, they’re decoration.” He rolled his eyes behind Arthur’s back. “Of course I did, you prat.” Then he giggled again. He’d called the prince a prat. It felt good, right.

Arthur turned suddenly to stare at him. “What did you call me?”

He couldn’t stop giggling. “Prat.” It seemed funnier than it should be.

After a moment, Arthur grinned back at him. “Come here and I’ll show you just how much of a ‘prat’ I am.”

Merlin stepped closer. His giggling stopped as Arthur’s mouth closed over his. A tongue slipped inside of his mouth. It felt amazing. His hands spread across Arthur’s chest and it was like he was touching a live wire. Arthur’s hands slid down Merlin’s back to cup his ass and he groaned into the prince’s mouth.

“Fuck,” Merlin cursed as soon as Arthur pulled away to breathe in a quick gasp of air.

Arthur’s smile turned smug. “I’ll take that as an invitation.”

Sometimes, destiny was an amazing thing. He grabbed Arthur’s shirt and pulled the blonde towards his bedroom. In their last life, he hadn’t been sure of Arthur’s orientation, but apparently, sometime between now and then, Arthur had taken an appreciation for men. He wasn’t going to complain. Merlin wasn’t sure how long he’d been in love with Arthur. He hadn’t even realized it, hadn’t had a name for his attraction until he’d seen Arthur killed before his eyes.

The memories of Arthur’s death threatened to crowd in on him again but he fought them off. Arthur’s skin was warm beneath his hands. He peeled Arthur’s shirt off and pressed the prince down onto his bed. His lips found the spot where the arrow had pierced Arthur’s chest, right over his heart, and he kissed there, licking and kissing the skin over and over again while his hands worked on the button of Arthur’s pants. His own clothes were similarly being stripped away but he pulled back before Arthur could open his pants.

Merlin dropped to his knees and stripped the last of Arthur’s clothes off. He barely gave Arthur time to register the change in position before he was leaning forward, one hand closing around Arthur’s burgeoning erection, holding the flesh steady as his mouth descended. He sucked in a deep lungful of air before swallowing Arthur down to the base. Arthur’s erection pressed against the back of his mouth. It felt wonderful.

Apparently Arthur agreed with Merlin. He moaned in pleasure and grasped Merlin’s hair tightly. How many times had he fantasized about doing this during his lifetime? He’d thought his attraction had just been based on looks. Arthur was a handsome man and Merlin had known since he was young that he was attracted to handsome men. Lancelot was proof of that, as were the rest of Merlin’s past boyfriends. But it was more than that. He lusted after Arthur because he was Arthur, the man who shared his destiny, who was his king, his prat, his everything.

He could have come just from this. His mouth was full of Arthur and he could taste him, all the way in the back of his throat. He sucked greedily, filling the apartment with loud, wet noises as he bobbed his head up and down.

“Merlin,” Arthur gasped. He tugged on Merlin’s hair.

He looked up but didn’t stop moving.

Arthur groaned. “Get up here.”

He pulled off of Arthur with a lewd pop. Arthur’s hands helped him to his feet and then pushed him down onto his back on the bed.

“Do you have lube?” Arthur asked. That was probably the best thing Merlin had ever heard him says.

The bedside drawer opened seconds before his hand touched it. The bottle of lube jumped into his hand. Arthur was pulling his wallet out of his discarded pants. He retrieved a foil packet from the wallet and then let the wallet fall back to the floor. The foil packet was opened and tossed to the side. Merlin watched with interest as Arthur rolled a condom down his erection.

He started to uncap the lube but Arthur took it from him.

“Have you ever done this before?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow and wrapped his legs around Arthur’s waist. “No, I just magically learned to deep throat all on my-”

Two slick fingers pressed inside of him, cutting off the rest of Merlin’s retort. He moaned in appreciation and arched into Arthur’s touch. Another finger joined the others, rubbing inside of Merlin and stretching him expertly.

“Ah!” Merlin shifted his legs until he could get enough leverage to push against Arthur’s fingers. “I see… you’ve done this… before too.”

Arthur just smirked at him and curled his fingers. Merlin bucked in pleasure.

After another minute, Arthur’s fingers pulled out. He untangled Merlin’s legs and turned him, positioning Merlin up on his hands and knees. Merlin groaned his appreciation and gripped his pillow. The mattress shifted as Arthur moved forward. Hands gripped Merlin by the hips. He was never going to get used to the thrill that shot through him every time Arthur touched him. Then Arthur was pushing into him and it was so much better than anything Merlin had felt before.

Arthur filled him. His erection was hot and thick inside of Merlin, stretching him. He shivered in pleasure and gripped the pillow. His senses were suddenly on full alert. He felt everything, every point where skin touched skin tingled, afire with sensation. Merlin moaned loudly and buried his face in his pillow.

He had a feeling that he was going to be loud tonight.

Fingers dug into his sides, not enough to bruise, but enough to reinforce that Arthur was in control. He started to move. The pillow barely muffled the wanton sounds Merlin was making. He bit into the fabric as Arthur slammed his hips forward, making Merlin keen.

“God, you feel good,” Arthur gasped from behind him.

Merlin whimpered in response and pushed backwards as Arthur slammed forward, forcing Arthur deeper inside of him. It felt amazing. He wanted this, wanted Arthur inside of him forever.

“So tight.”

He was going to have trouble walking straight tomorrow. Arthur’s gentleness was slipping and Merlin encouraged it. He wanted it that way and he moved to tell Arthur so.

“Ah!” He should have kept his head down. His voice was too loud. He hoped his neighbors weren’t home, otherwise he’d never be able to look them in the face again. “Harder,” he gasped. “Please, Arthur, fuck me harder. Want it. So much. Want you. Gods, please.”

Arthur pulled out suddenly and Merlin almost cried, afraid that Arthur was going to go away, was going to leave him like this, hot and needy and so close to the edge. Instead Arthur turned them, pushing Merlin down onto his back and shoving inside of him again. Merlin gasped and forgot how to breathe as Arthur pushed Merlin’s legs up towards his head, opening him up wide.

“Hold these,” Arthur commanded.

Merlin whimpered and did as he was told. He wrapped his arms around his knees and held himself open for Arthur. The prince’s hands moved back down to his hips, gripping tightly and pulling Merlin towards him each time his hips slammed forward. Merlin was being loud but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Then Arthur leaned forward, pressing Merlin’s legs back towards the mattress as he kissed Merlin deeply.

He screamed as he came, the sound mostly drowned out by Arthur’s mouth over his own. His magic surged, bridging the gap between Arthur and Merlin and connecting them for a brief moment. He felt Arthur, deeply, intimately, and it wasn’t just that Arthur was physically inside of him, suddenly he was emotionally and mentally inside of him. He felt what Arthur felt – the delight at making Merlin scream for him, the pleasure when Merlin tightened around him, the wonder and confusion as he suddenly realized that he was feeling things that weren’t his own.

Merlin? Arthur thought.

Arthur. He answered in kind.

Then the connection was gone, leaving Merlin feel suddenly bereft. He gasped, arching up into Arthur reflexively. Belatedly he realized that Arthur had come as well. He was still inside of Merlin but the hardness had faded. He was in no hurry for Arthur to move.

Arthur was staring at him but Merlin couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything until his magic settled. He pressed his hands against Arthur’s chest. There was still a faint part of him that was connected. That thread that connected them, the web of destiny that entwined them all, had just tightened. Instinctively he knew that he could now find Arthur, wherever he went. Merlin’s magic had bound them together.

“I think I’m too drunk for any of what just happened to make sense,” Arthur said suddenly.

Laughter ripped through him. He wrapped his arms around Arthur and kissed him soundly. “That’s fine. Sleep?” He felt like he could sleep for days.

Arthur’s expression shifted to a grin. “Yeah.” He pulled out of Merlin and tied off the condom before tossing it into the garbage can. Merlin grabbed a handful of tissues to clean them both off.

He couldn’t stop smiling as Arthur rolled them until Arthur was pressed against Merlin’s back. Arthur pressed a kiss against Merlin’s neck and then settled down to sleep, apparently uncaring that they were both naked and exposed to plain view. The blanket that had been kicked to the foot of the bed earlier stretched over them. Arthur murmured softly and shifted tighter against Merlin’s back.

That night, Merlin didn’t dream.

The pawn captured a knight. The king advanced forward.

*****

Arthur felt different. He wasn’t quite sure how he was different, he just knew he was. Somehow, during his night with Merlin – his wonderful, incredibly hot night with Merlin – he’d changed. He wasn’t the same person that he had been yesterday. He felt… whole.

Morgana had been giving him strange looks all day, ever since he’d walked into the palace that morning wearing the same clothes he’d gone to the exhibit opening in. She finally cornered him shortly after lunch. Arthur grunted slightly as he was suddenly shoved into one of the private reception rooms.

“Spill,” Morgana demanded.

He stared at her and squinted. There were two of her there, the vision of one overlaying the other. Both of them were still recognizably Morgana, but the other, the one not physically standing in front of him, seemed colder, more refined. It was strange seeing a fine gown overlaid on top of Morgana’s jeans and t-shirt. He quickly shook his head. The double Morgana disappeared.

“Spill what?”

A sharp fingernail pressed into his chest. “You. You’ve been out of it since you got in this morning. Do you know how hard it was to keep Uther from issuing a city-wide search for you after you disappeared last night?” She smirked suddenly, her grin a touch too vicious for his taste. “Merlin was gone too. I don’t suppose you happened to have noticed.”

He coughed and felt his face heat. “I may have noticed.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t!”

Arthur quickly stepped around her and further into the room, away from the door and any chance of being overheard. He glared at her, suddenly angry. He was prince and she was only his father’s ward. She wasn’t supposed to talk to him like that. He would rule their kingdom one day.

He froze. Where had those thoughts come from? Morgana was his sister, his full, biological sister. If it weren’t for the slight difference in their ages, she would be the one to inherit, not him.

“What in the world is going on with you?” Morgana asked.

“I don’t rightly know.” He shook his head again but the strange set of other memories still lingered at the back of his consciousness.

There was something else as well. He felt a connection to Merlin, like nothing he’d felt before. If he closed his eyes, he knew he could point, without error, exactly to where Merlin was. He could almost feel him, just at the edge of his mind, like a solid presence that refused to go away. It was both comforting and disconcerting at the same time.

“I think I’m in love,” he blurted suddenly.

Morgana took the admission in stride. “With Merlin?” There was no censure in her voice but also no approval as well.

She should approve. They were friends – her and Gwen and Merlin and Lancelot. He paused again. They’d never met Lancelot. Aside from the brief encounters in the museum and the bookstore, the girls had never met Merlin either, and yet he felt like they should have, like they were all connected and destined to be connected.

“Yeah,” he answered after a minute. Morgana was staring at him. She seemed concerned. “I’m in love with Merlin.”

He always had been, he realized, ever since he first met Merlin, a lifetime ago. That was the key to it. Past lives, past destinies. He’d been Prince Arthur from the legends, never the king because his life had ended too early, but he’d still been the legend, the real, living, breathing legend. He remembered.

“You do realize your father is going to have a fit.” Arthur stared at Morgana. He’d forgotten that she was even in the room.

“Let him. I’m not losing Merlin a second time.”

She stared at him. “A second time?”

He ignored her and started towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Morgana sounded annoyed, which never boded well for him, not in either of his lifetimes.

“To find Merlin.”

They needed to have a long talk.

*****

Merlin was not having a good day. He’d woken up sore and alone, in his own bed for a change instead of the office couch, which meant he was once more late for class. He had a feeling some of the other students in Gaius’s class were starting to figure out that he knew more than he was letting on. And, to top it all off, he’d answered one of Gaius’s questions wrong.

Well, that wasn’t entirely right. He’d answered the question how he remembered it instead of how legend dictated. Thankfully Gaius had covered for him but he still felt like a complete and utter idiot. Next he was going to start teaching it wrong and then the whole department would be in an uproar.

He thought his day couldn’t get any worse and then he opened his office to find a certain blonde prat sitting behind his desk. Merlin groaned and kicked the door shut behind him.

“One of these days, someone will come see me and actually sit on the other side of the desk,” he muttered to himself.

Arthur quirked an eyebrow at him and smiled cockily. His feet were up on Merlin’s desk, probably getting dirt all over his papers.

“Nice office.”

He glared and magically shoved Arthur’s feet off the desk. He was being petty, but he felt that he deserved a bit of pettiness today.

“Thanks,” he growled and slammed his books down on the desk. One of the stacks already there slid aside to make room.

Arthur stared at him, started to say something and then apparently thought better of it. “More books?” He pointed at the stack Merlin had set down. “Don’t you have enough already?”

“These are from the library. Research. A concept I’m sure you’re unfamiliar with.”

He’d been doing far too much research lately, looking into legends surrounding Excalibur and the Lady of the Lake. Geography had changed so much from what he remembered and the maps of his time, of his old time, hadn’t exactly been the most accurate. There were hundreds of lakes across Britain that could match the one he’d hidden Excalibur in. Add in the rest of Europe and the Isles, and it jumped to thousands.

He should have put up a sign. A big fucking sign that said ‘Excalibur Hidden Here’ so that when he wanted to find it again ages later, he could.

Arthur pouted at him, a gesture so familiar from their old days that Merlin paused. He stared at Arthur, really noticing the man for the first time since he walked in. Something was different, or, really, something was the same, the same as he remembered.

“That’s no way to talk to a prince, you know,” Arthur chided. “It’s really quite sad that we’ve gotten rid of the stockade. Marvelous invention.” He stood suddenly, bouncing to his feet like an overeager puppy. “Might be one hiding in that dusty old museum exhibit you’re so fond of, but in this day and age, you’re more likely to get molested than fruit thrown at you, and we can’t really have that.” Arthur shifted closer until he was inches from Merlin. He grinned widely. “After all, that’s my job.”

He opened and closed his mouth several times, gaping like a fish. It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be possible. Last night… he’d… Arthur hadn’t said anything, so he assumed…. It wasn’t possible.

“It’s your job to throw fruit at me?”

“No.” Arthur closed the distance between them. “To molest you.” Then Arthur was kissing him and he didn’t really have a response for that, at least not a vocal one. Arthur’s hands dropped to Merlin’s hips and then shifted down, putting action to words and thoroughly molesting Merlin’s ass.

He gasped for breath as Arthur pulled away. Arthur was grinning smugly at him and there was really only one thing he could think to do in response.

He smacked Arthur, hard, on the arm. “You complete and utter prat!” Arthur’s hands pulled away quickly. The smug look fell from his face.

“What? What the hell was that for?”

Books quivered on the shelves, reacting to his anger. “You prat! All last night you let me think that you had no fucking clue, about any of it, but you fucking knew!” He smacked Arthur again for emphasis. “You knew and you didn’t say anything! And then you left, without a word. Prat!” Another smack, just for good measure.

“Ow!” Arthur rubbed at his arm and glared. “Stop that! I did not. I mean…” His face shifted towards that confused expression which Merlin found far too adorable. He refused to let himself get distracted from his anger, no matter how much he wanted to kiss Arthur just then. “I didn’t know until today, just earlier, and then I came straight over but you were in your class so I waited and…” Arthur deflated suddenly. “I’m here now. I’m sorry I left. Uther, father, he gets uptight sometimes when I’m out overnight. Keeps worrying that I’m going to make some sort of scandal and embarrass the crown.”

Merlin snorted. His anger had died a valiant death. He dropped heavily onto the couch, hissing softly in pain as it jarred his sore muscles.

“Oh, I’m sure he’d just love it if the papers knew what you’d been up to last night, fucking some bloke.”

“You are not some bloke.” Merlin cocked an eyebrow at the vehemence of Arthur’s words. “Okay, so you’re definitely a bloke, and for the record, I rather like that about you but-”

“So do I,” Merlin interrupted. Arthur glared at him. He smiled cheekily back.

“But,” Arthur emphasized the word, “you are not ‘some’ bloke. You’re a very particular bloke that I’m quite fond of.”

He blushed uncontrollably and looked away. That was probably the sweetest thing Arthur had ever said to him, which was slightly sad in proportion.

“You’re still a prat.”

Arthur grinned and turned the wooden chair in front of Merlin’s desk around, sitting on it backwards. “I know. It’s part of my charm.”

He couldn’t help himself. He laughed. He laughed until his sides hurt, looked up at Arthur’s grinning face and then started laughing some more.

“Gods, what am I going to do with you?”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” The smugness crept back onto Arthur’s face. “That thing with your mouth last night was quite good. You could do that again.”

Merlin dropped his face into hands to hide his complete and utter mortification. “You’re such a prat.”

“We really need to get you some new insults. It’s the twenty-first century, Merlin. Add some color into your life.”

He stared. “I could call you a twat if you’d prefer.”

Arthur made a face. “Let’s stick with prat.”

They grinned at each other for a long moment. Merlin was the first to break eye contact. He shook his head and sighed. They were going to have to talk about it sometime. He stared down at the wooden floor. He needed to sweep.

“So you remember now?”

Arthur’s feet shifted but that was all of him that Merlin could see. “Yeah.”

“How much?”

He dreaded the answer.

“All of it? I mean, everything up to…” Merlin flinched. “I don’t know what happened after.”

He swallowed painfully. “Dying has that effect on memory.”

The chair tipped forward. Arthur took one of Merlin’s hands in his. “How long? I remember your magic going wild, as I was… dying.” He was slightly proud of Arthur for saying that with only a faint falter. Merlin had never been able to manage that. “Uther saw, so I’m assuming he had you exiled.”

He shook his head but couldn’t find his voice.

One of Arthur’s hands tipped his face up until they were looking straight at each other. “He had you executed?” Arthur’s repressed anger was clear in his voice.

He shook his head again. “No. I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t. Except that he was. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, burning a hot trail down his cheeks.

“Why are you sorry?” Arthur asked softly. He took Merlin’s free hand in his own and squeezed lightly.

“Because I couldn’t save you.” His voice broke. He was losing it. “I was supposed to protect you, keep you safe so that you could fulfill your destiny and I failed.” His sentence ended on a wail.

Arthur stood quickly and joined Merlin on the couch. His arms wrapped around Merlin. They were as strong as they used to be, before he’d died. It was strange just how much of their lives, of them, had been recreated in modern day. For a moment, he felt like he’d never died but then he stared across at the bookshelves lining the room, full of myth and legend, of history and folklore, and he remembered that this wasn’t his old life. This wasn’t how any of it was supposed to be and that was solely because of his failure.

He buried his face in Arthur’s shirt, using the fabric to muffle his sobs. He’d ruined it, ruined the Golden Age that Arthur was supposed to usher in. Arthur was supposed to make the land safe and whole but instead he’d died because Merlin was too much of an idiot to protect him from a simple arrow.

Hands rubbed along his back, soothing. “It’s not your fault, Merlin.”

He tried to protest but the words came out as a wordless wail. The hands didn’t stop moving.

“It’s not. I promise. You didn’t send the archers and soldiers to ambush us. Despite all of your magic – which, by the way, you never told me about, but I still knew anyways because that’s just how awesome I am – you’re only one person. You can’t see the future. You can’t know what’s going to happen, all you can do is react. Things happen that are outside of our control but that doesn’t make it your fault. I’m here now. I’m safe and I’m not going anywhere. Not for a long time.”

Merlin drew back and shook his head quickly. “It’s going to happen. I can feel it. You’re in danger.”

Arthur’s thumbs brushed over Merlin’s cheeks, wiping his tears away. He sniffled and slowly stopped crying.

“Then we’ll do better this time. Things are different. We’re different. I don’t really have to worry about archers in this century.” The small grin on Arthur’s face took the sting out of his last words.

Merlin snorted and rolled his eyes at Arthur’s poor attempt at a joke. “No, instead you have to worry about gun and bombs and chemical warfare. There’s also poison and knives – those never go out of style. Oh, and car crashes or plane crashes or really crashes of any kind involving the plethora of large metal boxes society’s so fond of strapping themselves into and hurtling through space at high velocity. And-”

A hand over his mouth cut him off.

Arthur stared at him. “Morbid much?”

“Only for you.”

“Charming.” Arthur grinned at him like he meant it, despite his sarcastic tone. He brushed his hand through Merlin’s hair. “So, what do I have to worry about for you if it wasn’t old age or Uther? Archers as well?”

He blushed, suddenly feeling stupid for his own reaction years ago. He’d acted on instinct, instinct heavily controlled by grief and fear and his own self-pity.

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

A tissue floated over to him and he blew his nose before sending the tissue on its way into the garbage can. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“That was probably the stupidest use of magic I’ve seen yet. Also, you’re deflecting. It’s not going to work.”

He attempted to grin but it came out muted. “Stick around, I’m sure you’ll see stupider. I used magic to open a can of pop the other day.”

Arthur stared at him pointedly.

Merlin sighed and looked away. “Fine.” He shifted slightly on the couch, moving away from Arthur. “When…” The words stuck in his throat. He swallowed and tried again. “When you… died…” He shivered. “I… overreacted. Just a tiny bit.”

The arch of Arthur’s raised eyebrow suggested that he didn’t believe Merlin in the slightest.

“I was grieving,” he defended sharply. “Inconsolable, if you must know.” A faint smirk started to form on Arthur’s face and Merlin glowered. “My magic reacted quite… strongly. A lot of people died.” Arthur’s face fell and he corrected himself quickly. “None of ours. At least, not by me. It… it took a lot out of me. Everything, actually.”

He couldn’t look at Arthur. He felt ashamed of what he’d done. There could have been other ways to handle the situation. He could have lived, but he knew, deep down, that that had never really been an option. There was no Arthur without Merlin and vice versa.

“So you killed yourself because you couldn’t stand to be without me?”

Arthur’s tone cut through his shame. He gaped at the insufferable prat who actually had the nerve, the very nerve, to suggest such a thing. He smacked Arthur.

“You prat!”

Arthur grinned at him. “You totally did! Oh, Merlin, that’s terribly romantic. Gwen and Morgana would practically swoon if they knew.”

He smacked Arthur again and pushed off of the couch, suddenly needed to be very far away from Arthur.

“I don’t know why I bother.”

“Because you love me,” Arthur said solemnly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Arthur’s boots thudded across the wooden floor. Arms wrapped around him from behind. “And, I love you.” His chin settled on Merlin’s shoulder and he dropped his voice to a low whisper. “It’s silly that we never figured that out before. I mean, I loved you for a very long time, probably since I first met you, and I never really knew it until this lifetime.”

Merlin clasped his hands over Arthur’s. “Yeah. Silly.”

“I’m going to tell him,” Arthur said suddenly.

Merlin blinked at the non sequitur. “Tell who what?”

“My father. King Uther. I’m going to tell him that I’m madly in love with you and that I’m going to marry you – someday, eventually – and that he doesn’t have a choice in the matter.”

He shoved away from Arthur and turned. “Are you completely daft?”

Arthur shrugged. “Probably, but I’m still going to do it.”

“What about the royal line, becoming king?”

“Bugger all that. If I’m destined to do it, I will. Otherwise, if Uther disowns me, Morgana will inherit, and I’ll run off to Tahiti where I can spend all day buggering you senseless.”

Merlin’s mouth hung open. Obviously, somewhere in the time between the old Arthur and the new one, he’d gone a bit daffy. Then he replayed the rest of their conversation and he outright stared at Arthur, agast.

“Did you just propose to me?”

Arthur grinned in that self-righteous, cocky way that only he could. “Not really. Consider it advanced warning. When I do actually propose, it’s going to be much more romantic.”

He sank into his desk chair and buried his face in his hands with a loud groan. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“It’s destiny.”

The queen captured a rook and a bishop.

Merlin felt a shiver of foreboding run down his spine and he snapped his head up to stare at Arthur. He remembered the conversation he’d had with Gaius earlier. “Do you know Nimueh?”

Arthur’s smile disappeared.

*****

“You’ve been watching me.”

Arthur froze. He turned very slowly and shut the door behind him. When he looked back, Nimueh hadn’t moved, still seated primly on the couch in Arthur’s sitting room.

“I’m sure you’re mistaken.” They both knew he was lying.

She smiled. It wasn’t an expression that seemed used to her face. It hung there, seeming distant with a trace of bad humor. He didn’t like it when this Nimueh smiled. At least in the past she’d had some sense of elegance, but she lacked that here.

“I’m not. You have been, and that’s fine.” She stood and brushed off her skirts. “I saw that you’ve found your Merlin again. How lucky for you.”

Her eyes seemed to go through him, at once piercing and vague. Whatever her true focus was, it wasn’t him.

“What do you want?” Instinct made him reach for his sword, but it wasn’t there anymore. Nimueh’s eyes followed his hand and she smiled wider.

“Merlin.” The word came out as a hiss, dark and angry.

Words fell out of his mouth before he could think, before he could realize what he was saying to a former and possibly current sorceress who may or may not have gone a bit wrong in this incarnation. The Nimueh before him was nothing like the polite mask she put on for state visits and nothing like the little he’d seen of her in the past.

“I’m sorry, but he’s taken.”

She laughed. There was no humor in the sound. “He’s not the only one.” She stalked towards him. Belatedly, he realized she was focused on the door, not him, like he was of little consequence and not a threat. She was probably right. He couldn’t do anything to her, not without causing a political scandal.

Arthur quickly stepped aside. She paused with her hand on the door and looked at him. Her eyes seemed so much colder up close.

“If you want your sister and the Prime Minister’s daughter returned to you, you will bring Merlin to meet me at the museum at midnight. By Excalibur. Do not be late.”

She was through the door before he could protest. Arthur cursed loudly and started dialing.

“Merlin? We have a problem.”

*****

Merlin pressed himself flat against the wall and clutched Arthur’s hand. His heart was beating a mile a minute. “We’re going to get caught.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Arthur hissed. He moved ahead of Merlin, sliding along the wall. They paused for a moment and he heard Arthur fumbling with something along the wall. “Door.”

Merlin checked around them, but the hedges and darkness hid them from view. He moved around Arthur.

“Can you open it?”

He nodded. A quick jolt of magic and the lock clicked open.

Arthur grinned at him. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look when your eyes glow?”

Merlin felt his face heat to the point where he was certain Arthur could see his face glow. “No, you hadn’t.” One of Arthur’s hands settled on Merlin’s back. His mind went the exact opposite direction it needed to go. “But we can talk about that later. Princess to save, evil sorceress to defeat, all that.”

Arthur grinned at him as he opened the door. He was far too excited about the whole situation. If Merlin was completely honest with himself, he was too. He’d kind of missed this. Their lives – their current lives – were so dull compared to what they’d almost lived through, would have maybe lived through, if it hadn’t been for the ambush. He paused inside the doorway. It was dark. They were in some sort of storage area.

There was no guarantee that they would have made it to old age. If it wasn’t one ambush, it would have been another ambush or a monster or a poison. Their lives had been destined to end, early, violently. His hand curled around the doorframe. He had no way of knowing what their destiny really was, or what it had been.

“Are you okay?” Arthur’s hands settled on his shoulders.

He half-turned and smiled. “Yeah. Come on. Destiny awaits.”

They snuck though dark rows of shelving and into the halls.

“Are you sure you know which way we’re going?” Arthur asked after a moment. He seemed nervous but Merlin couldn’t blame him. Likely, he was wishing for a sword in his hand.

“Yes,” he hissed. “Beating people with swords and sticks is your thing, old books and museums is mine. I know where I’m going.”

He’d been coming to this museum since he was a child. Even without that knowledge, he could feel the Arthurian exhibit pulling him. They were meant to be here, now. He only hoped no one had to die for destiny this time.

Nimueh was waiting for them. She smiled widely, her mouth stretched thin across her features, nearly bisecting her face. It reminded him of a really creepy doll. Gwen and Morgana sat behind her, perfectly still, staring blankly into space. The fake Excalibur shone from its place on the podium behind them.

“We’re here, now let them go,” Arthur demanded. He placed himself between Merlin and Nimueh.

The sorceress snapped her fingers. Morgana and Gwen gasped loudly, expressions of surprise and fear quickly replaced the blank look on their faces.

“There. It’s done.” She stepped forward and gestured grandly. “And now, so are you.”

The suits of armor lining the edge of the room marched forward. Merlin barely managed to dodge in time as the closest stabbed a spear through the space he’d just been occupying. The statues shifted to fill the doorways, bristling like a metal porcupine.

Merlin stared at the blockade. “You do know that I can just move those right? That’s not going to stop us from leaving.”

Gwen and Morgana were staring at them.

Nimueh’s smile never faltered. “It’s not meant to stop you.”

A loud roar echoed through the chamber. Merlin shivered, his blood suddenly running cold. The girls screamed. Arthur turned, took one look at the giant lizard crawling down the wall and ran towards the girls. Merlin just stared.

“It,” Nimueh said with a smug look, “like that,” she gestured towards the lizard, “are distractions.”

She pointed. Merlin felt her intent seconds before a bolt of energy slammed into his chest. He barely reacted fast enough to keep it from ripping a hole through him, but he hadn’t been able to stop enough of it. He flew backwards, slamming hard into the stone wall.

Nimueh’s laughter carried over the creature’s growls. Merlin fell limply to the floor. Arthur tugged on the fake Excalibur but it was stuck. Gwen and Morgana ran towards one of the blockades and started untangling the suits of armor. Bits of metal clattered to the floor, giving Merlin an idea. Nimueh raised her hands, a maniacal look of pleasure on her face.

Merlin breathed deeply and pulled. He reached out with his magic and grabbed anything that might possibly be of use to him. The armor collapsed into fragments, each piece lifting in the air to float around the room. A breastplate took the force of the second bolt meant for him, giving him time to stumble to his feet. A pair of helmets took the third and fourth, shattering into dust under the force of her rage. He sent a spear after Nimueh but she shattered that as well, batting it aside with barely a glance. The rest of the spears he sent after the creature. They bounced harmlessly off of its hide but it kept the thing busy, batting at the weapons instead of advancing after his friends.

It bought him time, but really that was all it did. That was all he needed. Just a bit more time. He wished he could have had longer. He had a feeling that his current destiny was coming to another quick end.

“Run! Get out of here.”

No one listened to him. Arthur had given up on the display sword and was looking around for something else. The girls were grabbing spears and settling into fighting stances. They weren’t approaching the beast, but they were ready for when it approached them. Spears were no use. They needed something more.

Desperate, Merlin turned his concentration inwards and flung his magic out, reaching for anything that could help him. He felt the web of connection, the thin mystical threads that bound him and Arthur and Morgana and Gwen together flare into life. The spears they were holding glowed blue as his magic settled around them. At least they had some defense now.

Merlin screamed as Nimueh sent a raw torrent of energy flying at him. The thin wall of metal protecting him shattered. He lost his concentration as the force of the energy slammed against him, not damaging but disorienting enough that his magic faltered for a second. That was all the time Nimueh needed. The shards of metal froze midair and turned.

His eyes widened in horror. “Oh, shit.”

He jumped to the side but he wasn’t fast enough to avoid all of the shards. He screamed again as shards of metal ripped through his clothing, sinking into his flesh.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice sounded distant, too far away.

Then the doors to the museum banged open, echoing loudly throughout the museum. There was a faint whizzing sound, barely audible over the clank of metal and the creature’s hungry howls. The spears attacking it had all shattered, leaving it free to stalk towards the girls. Arthur turned as a flash of silver streaked into the hall, heading straight towards him. Nimueh’s eyes widened.

“Impossible.”

Apparently, Merlin’s magic had managed to find something useful. Excalibur halted in midair inches from Arthur, gleaming as if it had been freshly forged instead of spending years upon years at the bottom of a lake. Arthur reached out reverently and grasped the hilt. Destiny shifted, responding to Arthur’s reunion with the legendary sword.

The king advanced across the chess board.

Merlin gasped for air. He hurt. His head pounded from being bounced off walls, weakening his concentration. He had to keep fighting.

Nimueh turned to advance on Arthur. Merlin lashed out blindly, sending a solid wall of air at her. She blocked and started to turn back towards him. Arthur shouted and rushed forward. Merlin gathered all the energy he had left but it wasn’t enough. He’d never learned much about fighting versus other wizards. All he knew how to do was help others take out the evil monsters. Closing his eyes, he remembered how he’d felt the day Arthur had died. Grief swelled through him, but it was muted now, faded under the realization that it wasn’t his fault, that Arthur had been meant to die, meant to be born here, meant to live again. Another emotion surged over the grief, giving him strength.

He screamed and the walls of the museum trembled from the force of his rage. His magics slammed against Nimueh’s shields, not enough to get past them yet. He didn’t need to. Arthur stepped up behind her. Excalibur’s blade blossomed through her chest and she looked down upon it in surprise. She fell, sliding off the blade to land on the stones. Part of the rug covering the center of the room had been kicked away in the fight, revealing a strange red marking on the floor. A drop of blood from Arthur’s sword fell on it as he lowered the weapon.

Bright red light filled the room for a long moment, pouring out of ancient symbols hidden on the wall and floor. They flashed blindingly bright and then faded as quickly as they’d appeared. When they disappeared, so did Nimueh.

Checkmate.

Merlin’s head hit the floor. He was going to pass out very soon but he had the feeling that there was something that he was forgetting.

“Arthur!” Gwen’s terrified scream revived him.

The creature was still here. Morgana and Gwen were holding it off feebly with their spears, but that was all they were doing. It was backing them into a corner. They didn’t have much time left. Merlin reached for his magic but there was nothing left. This body was still new to it. He didn’t have the reserves he was used to, though they’d build in time. He didn’t have time. Arthur ran towards them but he wasn’t close enough. Merlin was closer but he couldn’t get his body to move.

Someone ran past him into the room, picking up a spear as they went. Merlin would have recognized the tousled black hair and thick frame anywhere. Lancelot stabbed his spear into the creature’s tail. It roared and turned towards him, but he wasn’t alone. Arthur’s sword caught the creature along the side, cutting in deep.

There were more people coming. Their voices filled the hallway. A pair of nearly identical looking brunettes slid in front of the girls, guarding them. A redheaded woman in men’s clothing and an older man in a business suit flanked Arthur and Lancelot, spears in hand. A dark-skinned man and a young boy in a jersey slid around to the creature’s other side. Two sets of hands lifted Merlin and carried him out of the room, away from the fight.

Merlin whimpered in pain as he was propped against one of the museum walls.

“It’s alright. I’m an EMT.”

Merlin turned his head up to face the thin blonde. The other man that had helped carry him was already heading back into the hall. Merlin caught a glimpse of elaborate tattoos and then the creature started screaming.

A name came to mind. He instinctively attached it to the blonde. “Percival?”

The blonde stared at him. “How did you know?” He started to peel back Merlin’s jeans and then gave that up. There was a white case by his side. He pulled out scissors and started cutting the fabric away to get at the scrap metal.

“Merlin,” he said by way of explanation. “Connected.” It was probably a bad sign that his words were slurring so much.

“Ah. We never met before. I have a feeling you’re the one to thank for all the past life stuff?”

He started to nod but his body had other ideas. The creature howled one last time and then fell silent. Merlin passed out.

*****

When he woke again, he was in a hospital room. It was not the same hospital room as last time – or at least he didn’t think so – but it shared the same sort of vague similarities that all hospital rooms shared. He groaned and thought about trying to sit up. His body ached, vetoing that idea. It was far too bright in the room and he wasn’t alone.

“Morning, sunshine.”

Merlin turned his head and glared. Arthur grinned cheekily back at him. He leaned forward in his chair and kissed Merlin on the forehead.

“Welcome back to the world of the living.”

He groaned. “I want a refund.” A return to consciousness apparently meant a return to pain.

“Sorry, none currently being offered.” Arthur’s hand wrapped around Merlin’s. “How are you feeling?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Like I was in a magical duel with a sorceress trying to kill me as revenge for already killing her and had a bunch of shrapnel stuck in me. Shouldn’t I be on, like, a morphine drip or something? That’s how it always happens in the movies.”

Arthur chuckled and squeezed his hand. “You’re actually not that bad off. A bunch of bruising, some minor cuts. Percival was adamant that you’d been hurt worse than that, but they didn’t find any sign of it by the time we got you to the hospital.”

He shifted slightly. His body still didn’t want to move but he felt better than he should, considering. Tentatively, he reached for his magic. It responded sluggishly, but still responded. He traced the magic through his body, feeling certain areas where his magic pooled, other areas it ignored.

“Oh.” He turned back to Arthur. “I didn’t realize I could do that.”

Arthur grinned. “Magic?”

He nodded.

“Percival will be glad to know he’s not going insane. Well, no more than the rest of the Knights. And myself, and Morgana and Gwen and Gaius and Uther.”

Merlin stared at him questioningly.

Arthur’s grin widened. “We all remember. It’s great.” His expression fell slightly. “Well, not so much for father. I think he regrets what happened a little bit, the things he’d done while ruling Camelot.”

Something else Arthur had said caught his attention, dragging his thoughts away from Uther. “Knights?”

“Of the Round Table.” Arthur practically bounced as he said it. “Well, we still have to get a round table, but that’s the general idea. It’s still sort of new to all of us, but… destiny, all that. I figured you’d know.”

Merlin rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “Is that so?”

“You always do.” Arthur kissed him again before he could respond.

He had a feeling that he’d just woken up to a complete mess. He groaned, and this time it had nothing to do with the pain. “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

“Destiny.”

Nov 27 2009

Publicity

The entrance to the club was hidden down an alley between a ramen bar and a bookstore. Isaka followed Usami, still skeptical that the younger man knew where they were going. About halfway down the alleyway stood a door, sunken below the street with a short cement stairwell leading down to it. There was no sign on the door. Usami confidently descended down the stairs and knocked on the door, rapping his hand twice on the door, pausing, then knocking once more.

There was a faint grating sound and then the door pulled open, revealing a dimly lit hallway painted in a deep purplish red. A burly, bald man blocked their way. Usami smiled easily at the man and handed him a card. Isaka watched the entire exchange curiously, wondering, not for the first time, how he’d let Usami talk him into this. After a short moment the bald man grunted slightly and stepped aside. He followed Usami in.

A thin man leaned over a counter ahead of them, smiling at them as they approached. He took their coats without a word, then wished them a pleasant visit as they ventured further into the building. The hall opened into a large room. He noticed the furniture first – a few small tables set around the edge of the room, a handful of chairs, and a number of couches, some with backs, most without. All of the furniture followed a theme, plump red leather for the seating, dark wood for the surfaces.

Then he noticed the peopled. The room was littered with men, not heavily crowded but still amply full. Some were dressed like they were in business casual dress. Others were dressed as if they were hitting the clubs, with tight shirts and tighter pants and not a whole lot of fabric between. The rest, the majority, wore considerably less and were rather distracted, tangled up intimately with another patron, sometimes several patrons.

Isaka forced himself not to blush. He’d known what he was walking into when he agreed to come.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he didn’t really mind the displays that were going on. They set the mood. A small shiver of pleasure ran through him as he thought about being one of the men watched so intently.

“See anything you like?” Usami asked softly.

Isaka blinked. He hadn’t thought that far ahead, still caught up in the reality of being in the club.

“Not yet.”

Usami ran his gaze over the room. He stopped at a small stand of couches near the corner of the room. It was mostly deserted, save for a blonde businessman and a young boy who looked incredibly nervous and kept fidgeting in his chair. They sat at either ends of the area, obviously not together and not paying attention to each other. The boy was getting a number of interested looks, but he seemed oblivious to them. Usami’s eyes fixed on the boy. Isaka found his gaze turning with interest to the blonde man.

He smiled. “Great minds think alike.”

They approached the couches together and branched off, Usami heading towards the boy in the chair and Isaka heading towards the couch.

He grinned slightly as he dropped onto the couch beside the blonde man, seating himself facing the man with his arm over the back. The blonde turned. His eyes roved over Isaka with growing interest.

Isaka relaxed against the back of the couch. “Hi.”

The blonde smiled back at him. “Hi. I’m Asahina.”

“Isaka,” he said as he shifted to straddle Asahina’s lap.

Hands settled on his waist, holding him steady as he leaned in. His lips covered Asahina’s. He had a brief moment of control before the other took over, sliding his tongue into Isaka’s mouth.

He no longer had any doubts about coming to the club.

*****

Usami felt like a cat that had cornered a mouse. He smirked as he circled the chair, reveling in the envious looks that the other men shot him. The boy was greatly desired among the crowd but none had yet stepped forward to meet him. Their loss was his gain.

“Hello,” he said as he came to a halt in front of the boy.

Wide brown eyes turned up to meet his. The boy smiled nervously. Usami dropped to his knees to put them on a more equal eye level. He set his hands lightly on the boy’s knees. The boy blushed but didn’t move Usami’s hands.

“I’m Usami Akihiko, and you are…?”

“Misaki. Takahashi Misaki.”

Something about the name sounded familiar but he decided not to dwell on it at the moment.

He started to move his hands up and down Misaki’s thighs. The boy blushed and shivered slightly. It was far too endearing.

“Is this your first time here, Misaki-chan?”

Misaki’s face flushed hotly. “Don’t call me ‘chan’.”

“Misaki-kun?”

The boy didn’t say anything. He stared down at Usami’s hands as they moved up to his waist. Usami fingered the hem of Misaki’s t-shirt.

“Can I kiss you?”

Misaki stared at him for a long moment before finally nodding hesitantly.

He leaned in slowly. The boy wasn’t a mouse, he was a rabbit, ready to bolt at the slightest sign of danger. Usami touched his lips lightly against Misaki’s. The boy didn’t retreat, but he didn’t kiss back either. He leaned back. Misaki stared at him, his blush still bright on his cheeks. Usami smiled, trying to convey reassurance, and leaned in again, kissing Misaki with more force. The boy responded, opening up his lips as Usami pressed his tongue between them and moaning slightly as Usami invaded his mouth. He slipped his hands under Misaki’s shirt, pressing his palms against smooth flesh.

Finally, he was making progress.

*****

Isaka’s shirt had disappeared somewhere. He neither knew nor cared and was in the process of making Asahina’s do a similar disappearing act. Asahina’s hands were busy unfastening Isaka’s pants. The shirt came away easily in his hands. He tossed it over the back of the couch and pulled away with a grin. He could feel Asahina’s erection pressing against his pants and he planned to do something about it.

A wide grin spread across his face as he slid down onto his knees. Asahina spread his knees apart to make room for Isaka on the floor. He looked up at Asahina and licked his lips. His hands made quick work of the opening of Asahina’s pants. A small shiver of excitement ran through him as he felt the hot flesh inside for the first time. Wrapping his fingers around Asahina’s erection, he pulled the flesh free. Asahina was watching him intently as he leaned forward.

His tongue stretched forward to lap at the head of Asahina’s erection, licking up a small drop of precum. The taste of salt on his tongue only made him want more. He lowered his head to lick a trail up from the base of Asahina’s cock and swirl his tongue around the head. The low moan that Asahina made was all the encouragement he needed.

He closed his mouth around Asahina, sliding down until the head of Asahina’s erection brushed the back of his throat. Fingers combed through his hair, holding his head lightly. He pressed his tongue against the edge of Asahina’s erection as he pulled back up until the head was barely in his mouth. His tongue lapped against the head like it was a lollipop before he slid back down, building up a slow rhythm. His hand circled the base of Asahina’s cock, stroking the small section of flesh that his mouth couldn’t reach, moving up and down in time with his mouth.

The flesh in his mouth hardened in his mouth, turning from half-hard to fully erect. He wanted more. He wanted to taste more, touch more, feel more. Apparently Asahina had the same idea. One of the hands in his hair tightened and tugged lightly, urging him to pull back. Asahina helped him stand and then stripped Isaka of his pants.

More than just Asahina’s eyes were on him. He looked up to see that they’d gathered the attention of several of the unoccupied patrons of the club. Then Asahina was laying back on the couch and pulling Isaka on top of him, and he forgot all about the other patrons. His face was aligned with Asahina’s erection. He felt a tongue lightly touch against his own.

“I believe once act of service merits service in return, stranger.”

Isaka smiled and didn’t complain. He lowered his mouth back onto Asahina, moaning as Asahina mirrored his actions. Asahina’s fingers dug into Isaka’s hips, holding him still. It had been a while since another man had gone down on him, but Isaka found the experience better than he remembered it being. Asahina’s hips rolled up into his mouth, not hard enough to choke him, but enough to encourage him into a rhythm. He couldn’t stop making noises of pleasure, groaning low in the back of his throat each time Asahina’s mouth sucked tightly against his flesh.

He heard the sound of glass clinking and felt Asahina shift against him. There was a small table set at the side of the couch, and a larger coffee table in the center of the area. He remembered seeing a few covered jars and pots, as well as bowls of condoms and lube packets. He didn’t have long to wonder about the sound before Asahina’s fingers were pressing against his entrance. His whimper was muffled by Asahina’s cock. He spread his legs slightly wider in invitation.

Slick fingers pressed against him. He hadn’t had anyone inside of him recently but it still felt wonderful when two of Asahina’s fingers slid knuckle-deep inside of him, slightly painful but the pain was worth it. The flesh in his mouth was a welcome distraction and he turned his focus on it. His body relaxed around the fingers. Another pushed in alongside the first two. Asahina moved them slowly, mimicking the slow bob of Isaka’s mouth. After a few minutes he started to spread his fingers, stretching Isaka’s insides.

It was too much for him. He whimpered slightly and clenched his fingers in the couch cushions. It didn’t help. He gasped as he came into Asahina’s mouth. The blonde swallowed around him, making Isaka squirm against Asahina’s fingers. They both pulled their mouths away. Isaka gasped for breath and rested his forehead against Asahina’s knee.

Asahina turned him until they were face to face. He was smiling, his hands still possessively clutching Isaka’s ass. Isaka leaned down to kiss the blonde deeply. He tasted his come on Asahina’s lips and loved it.

A loud moan brought their attention to the other side of the coffee table.

*****

Usami smiled as he heard wet, slurping noises behind him. He turned to glance at the pair on the couch. Isaka looked like he was having fun. Usami turned back. Misaki’s gaze was momentarily fixed on the couple. He smiled and shifted his hands towards Misaki’s fly.

“Would you like that, Misaki-kun? Do you want me to do to you what Isaka-san is doing?”

The boy’s eyes went wide. “W-what?”

His grin widened as he unbuttoned the boy’s jeans. He pulled the zipper down and slid his hand inside. Misaki jumped.

“U-usami-san…”

He wrapped his hand around Misaki’s penis and pulled it out into the air. Misaki’s hands grabbed onto Usami’s but there was no force behind his grip. He took that as a sign of encouragement. Leaning forward, he lightly kissed the head of Misaki’s cock. The boy was barely erect but Usami planned to change that. He stroked slowly, gradually increasing the speed as Misaki thickened in his hand. Usami lowered his mouth and quickly swallowed Misaki down to the base.

“Ah! Usami-san!”

He teased Misaki, using fingers and tongue and wet suction to make the boy writhe with pleasure. Misaki moaned prettily. The sound only made Usami want to do more. He felt himself hardening in response. Just his mouth wasn’t going to be enough.

Misaki sighed as Usami pulled back and melted against the chair. Inwardly, Usami reveled at the thought of winding Misaki up further. He wrapped an arm around Misaki’s waist and pulled until Misaki was sliding off the chair and into his lap with a startled shout. Misaki’s shirt was quickly peeled off and then Usami turned him, pushing Misaki face down over the coffee table.

“Usami-san, what…?”

Between Isaka and himself they’d attracted quite a lot of attention. Several of the men stared at Usami with envy as he pulled Misaki’s pants down and opened his own, letting the fabric pool around their knees. He grabbed one of the lube packets from the bowl on the table and tore it open with his teeth. The liquid spilled out onto his hand. He coated his erection liberally with lube.

“Have you ever done this before?”

Misaki shook his head quickly. His hands curled around the edges of the table. Slowly, Usami pushed a finger into the boy. Misaki tensed around him. Usami used his free hand to distract the boy, rubbing slow circles against his lower back and then running over his sides and around to his chest. His hand curled around Misaki’s erection, causing the boy to gasp and relax. Usami moved his finger and his hand in time, keeping the pace slow. Misaki was breathing heavily, panting slightly and whimpering every couple of seconds. He pushed another finger inside and grinned as he felt Misaki’s body tense again. He didn’t stop moving his hand as Misaki came with a loud moan.

Isaka seemed to have come already as well. He lazily broke off a kiss with the blonde and they both turned as Misaki moaned. Usami smiled at his friend as he grabbed Misaki’s hips and pushed inside, causing the boy to shout loudly. His hands tightened against the table but he pushed back against Usami with another moan. They were definitely attracting a crowd. A few men were drifting towards them, forming a loose circle around them.

Usami didn’t mind being a bit of a showman. He started to thrust into Misaki, drawing more delectable noises from the boy. Misaki felt amazingly tight around him but he kept control of his emotions. He wanted this to last for a while. He’d give the crowd a good show.

*****

Asahina’s hands wandered across his skin as they watched Usami teasing the boy. Isaka smiled back as Usami grinned across at him. It was a little weird watching his friend like this but he found himself strangely okay with it. After all, Usami and countless others had just watched him suck off a stranger. Judging from the direction Asahina’s hand was travelling, his night was far from over.

“You okay?” Asahina asked softly.

He turned away from Usami and smiled down at the blonde. “Yeah.”

Asahina rolled them until Isaka was underneath him. The blonde leaned back and knelt between Isaka’s legs. He pressed his feet against the cushions and lifted his hips as Asahina grabbed him around the waist. His back arched and he rolled his head back as Asahina pushed inside him. His moan echoed the boy’s for volume.

As his eyes opened he finally caught sight of the crowd around them. There was a thickening circle of people surrounding their little area, and they seemed to be equally interested in Isaka and Asahina as they were Usami and the boy. Several of the men raked their eyes over Isaka’s naked body with a hungry look. More than a few had their pants open, dicks in hand.

He turned away from the crowd and writhed in pleasure as Asahina moved inside of him. Belatedly, he realized that Asahina had arranged them like this on purpose. Their bodies were entirely exposed, leaving nothing obscured as Asahina fucked him. Asahina’s pace was steady, not too fast, not too hard. It was driving Isaka insane, too much and not enough all at the same time. He could feel the faint stirrings of pleasure building in his stomach. If Asahina kept this up, he’d be in danger of coming again.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Usami moving, pulling the boy back onto the chair with him but his attention was focused entirely on Asahina. The blonde was watching him, his eyes locking Isaka’s in their gaze. Asahina’s hands shifted, sliding down to his knees and then lifting them. Isaka cried out as his legs were lifted over Asahina’s shoulders, changing the angle that Asahina was thrusting into him. Each downward thrust rubbed against Isaka’s prostate, sending bolts of pleasure through his body. He trembled and grabbed onto the arm of the couch.

“Asahina,” he gasped.

The blonde smiled and held Isaka’s hips tightly.

He couldn’t hold Asahina’s gaze anymore. It was too much. His head rolled frantically against the couch and he moaned wantonly, his breaths coming out as harsh pants. He could feel his erection stirring. Asahina’s hips sped up, gradually striking into him harder and faster. He was going to come again. It was building inside of him, as inevitable and overwhelming as an avalanche. The room fell away until everything, all he knew was Asahina’s intent eyes and the relentless thrusting inside of him.

Asahina came first. The blonde gasped softly and then there was warm liquid spilling from inside of Isaka. He whimpered, but didn’t have long to wait as Asahina’s hand closed around his erection, stroking him quickly towards completion. His voice was obscenely loud as he came. His back arched off of the couch and he froze that way as release rocked through him, suspended midair for what seemed like eternity.

Gentle hands lowered his legs back to the cushions. He felt loose and boneless, too gone with pleasure to really care what happened to him after this. Asahina pulled him up until he was leaning against Asahina’s chest, his head against the blonde’s neck, with Asahina still inside of him. The blonde’s lips pressed against his neck, moving down until he captured Isaka in a leisurely kiss.

He didn’t ever want to move.

*****

Usami watched with interest as the blonde man pushed into Isaka and started to thrust into him. Misaki was oblivious, his head down, body trembling. Usami’s hips moved on automatic as he watched Isaka. He could use this for his novel. That had been the original idea. He’d wanted to come here for research and then talked Isaka into accompanying him. His friend really needed to get laid and Usami considered that a mission well accomplished. He had a feeling Isaka would be thanking Usami for talking him into coming.

Misaki was pushing back against him, matching Usami’s thrusts. Something about the position didn’t seem quite right to Usami. Most of the boy’s body was hidden, draped over the table or hidden between it and Usami’s body. He wrapped his arms around Misaki’s chest and pulled back. Misaki gasped loudly as Usami sat on the chair. The boy’s head rolled back against Usami’s shoulder, his eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

He wriggled slightly, eliciting a delectable series of noises from Misaki as he pushed his own pants off and then lifted Misaki’s legs to pull his pants off, leaving the boy naked and exposed in his lap. He hooked Misaki’s legs over the arms of the chair, spreading his legs wide. Several of the watching crowd turned their eyes down towards Misaki’s hips, focusing on the point where Usami’s erection was buried inside of the boy.

Slowly, he started to move Misaki again. His hands gripped the boy tightly by the hips and lifted him enough that he could start to move his hips again. Hands and hips moved together, building back towards a pounding rhythm that had Misaki trembling against him. The boy’s hands gripped the edges of the chair. His head fell forward and then he started moving, shifting his legs slightly so that he could help Usami move Misaki’s body up and down.

He watched the boy eagerly, intrigued by the varied and often intense responses the boy had. His erection was already starting to return, pink flesh lifting to stand erect, bouncing lightly against his chest. He reached around and began stroking, grinning as Misaki gasped. The boy started speaking, repeating Usami’s name over and over again like an erotic mantra. He started to slam his hips up harder, delighting in the way it made Misaki’s breath hitch.

Misaki screamed Usami’s name as he came a second time, tensing for a short moment and then collapsing bonelessly into Usami’s lap. He slid his hand back to Misaki’s hips and kept moving, still slamming into the boy for a few more minutes until he came as well. Judging by the expressions of some of their audience, he wasn’t the only one.

His arms wrapped around Misaki’s chest, but that was the most he moved them. He didn’t want to take Misaki off of display just yet.

The boy’s head turned towards him and he leaned down to pull Misaki into a deep kiss. Across from them, Isaka seemed to be doing the same as he sat in the blonde’s lap.

After several minutes, Misaki began to squirm slightly. Usami broke off the kiss and smiled down at the brown-haired boy.

“Come home with me?”

Misaki blushed and shifted his legs off of the edges of the chair. He stared down at the floor for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

Usami grinned widely. Now that he’d found this cute boy, he didn’t intend to let him go.

*****

One thing was very clear to Isaka. He wanted to do this again with Asahina. He wanted Asahina in his bed tonight, and the morning, and for all the nights after. If it was possible to develop an addiction to a person, he’d just formed one. Asahina pulled away slightly to kiss his way down Isaka’s neck. He didn’t want this night to end.

“Take me home with you,” Asahina said against Isaka’s neck.

He felt his face blush. It was almost too good to be true. He glanced over his shoulder at Usami and found him similarly entangled. “Okay. Can you drive? He was my ride.” He nodded towards Usami.

A carefully neutral expression settled over Asahina’s face. “Your lover?”

He shook his head quickly. “Neighbor. We’re not…”

A smile spread across Asahina’s face. His hand stroked up Isaka’s spine. “Shall we go then? I can think of a few things we could do. I assume you have a large bed?”

His blush deepened and he shivered with anticipation. “Yeah, I do.”

He hissed slightly as he stood, finally sliding Asahina out of him. He was going to be sore in the morning, but it was worth it. Their crowd had started to disperse. A few of the lingering men turned away disappointed as Isaka started to pull on his clothes. He turned to Usami as he started buttoning up his shirt.

“Hey, Usami, I’m heading out.”

Usami waved at him but didn’t stop kissing his boy. Asahina’s arm settled around his waist as they left the club.

He definitely owed Usami for this night. He was never going to argue with any of Usami’s weird ideas again, and he was definitely going to come back, though he had a feeling that the next time would be with Asahina in tow.

Nov 26 2009

Literary Seduction

Iruka arrived at the Academy fifteen minutes late, expecting to find his class in disarray. The halls were unnaturally silent as he ran towards his classroom, giving him early warning that something was off even before he opened the door. Twelve pairs of eyes turned to watch him as he slid open the door. He waited for something to fly at him or fall on him but nothing happened. A few of the girls were smiling at him, their hands over their faces to stifle their giggles.

He tugged absently on his ponytail, momentarily wondering if he’d left his hair down or put his shirt on backwards, but he’d been certain that he’d double-checked everything before leaving his house. He looked up, but there was nothing on the ceiling. Then he turned and saw what had his students so confused.

There was a small crystal vase in the center of his desk, filled with an arrangement of red carnations, daisies, and tulips. Iruka dropped his satchel on the desk and stared at his students. Their expressions where a mixture of curiosity and excitement, though none of them displayed the sort of guilt or embarrassment that would have led him to believe that a student had put them there.

A small white card lay partially hidden among the flowers. Iruka flipped it open with one hand. There was a single line was written inside in sprawling, thin script.

“Love comes in springtime, blooming across the countryside and in the hearts of the young.”

Iruka moved the flowers to the corner of his desk and put them out of mind while he started the day’s lesson.

*****

A few days later, Iruka came home to find a small package waiting outside his doorway. There were no postal markings on it, which meant someone must have hand delivered it. He picked it up carefully, turning the box over in case there was writing on a different side. The brown paper covering the package was unmarked. Something inside of it rattled slightly.

Iruka absently unlocked his door and disabled the wards. He toed off his shoes in the entranceway and dropped the package and his satchel on the coffee table on his way to the kitchen. After he’d made himself a cup of tea and a small plate of cookies, he returned to the coffee table and sat on the floor with his back against the couch. The package waited in front of him, tempting him to open it.

He picked it up in both hands and considered it. He didn’t think it was anything dangerous. As far as he was aware, no one in the village wished him ill. There was a possibility that one of his students, either current or past, was trying to play a prank on him.

He opened the package carefully, leaving the paper intact as he unwrapped it. There was a thin cardboard box inside, covered in red paper that looked vaguely familiar. He opened the box, expecting something to jump out at him. Nothing did, and suddenly the strange package made much more sense as he remembered the flowers that had appeared on his desk.

It was a box of chocolates. Iruka stared at them curiously and popped one in his mouth. They were good. Someone had obviously gone to one of the high-end stores to get these. There was another small card inside.

“His lips touched upon his beloved’s for the first time, tasting a sweetness greater than any nectar.”

He smiled slightly and pushed his cookies aside as he started his grading. If he happened to score slightly higher than usual, he didn’t think his students would mind.

*****

Iruka was slowly running out of possible culprits for the strange series of gifts. He’d ruled out his students. His current set were as curious about the gifts as he was, and most of his past classes were too young to be harboring romantic attentions towards him. Or at least he hoped they were. He didn’t really want to think about sixteen year olds with crushes on him.

Single parents were a possibility, but he couldn’t think of many that had been overly affectionate. Most of the other teachers were either straight males or females that knew quite well which way Iruka’s sexuality swung. He still met occasionally with some of his fellow classmates from when he’d been a genin, but they’d had opportunities for years to hit on him. His exes wouldn’t have gone to this much trouble to try and win him back. Finally, there was the horde of jounin that accosted him at the Mission Room.

The last group was the most disturbing of possibilities, which is why Iruka also considered them the most likely. Jounin were a wholly deranged group of individuals, which is why the eccentricity of the gifts made the most sense coming from one of them. Someone saner would have made themselves known by now. There would have been a name with the notes, something to give away the identity of the sender.

Since then he’d received two more vases of flowers, appearing in place of the first as soon as the original set started to fade. He’d been gifted with a finely crafted set of shuriken, a box of pens, and several bowls of ramen that appeared on his desk conveniently in time for lunch. Each came with a card and a quote.

He found the entire situation incredibly sweet, though he still had no idea who was behind it.

There was another package waiting for him when he got home. A smile instantly blossomed on Iruka’s face as he caught sight of the familiar brown paper. He quickly let himself into his apartment then stopped before he could put the package down. There was someone on his couch, and not just any someone but one of the most famous jounin in Konoha, Sharingan Kakashi.

Iruka turned back towards the door which had been locked when he’d come home, with the wards unbroken. He looked at the jounin who seemed to be smiling at him. It was hard to tell what Kakashi’s expression was with the mask covering the lower half of his face and his tilted forehead protector covering one eye.

“Umm…” Iruka hovered awkwardly in the middle of the living room. A number of possible things to say flittered through his head, only to be immediately discarded as too impolite or too inane. “Would you like some tea?”

Kakashi shook his head. “No. Thank you though.” His eyes never left Iruka.

The constant attention was slightly unnerving. He dropped his satchel next to the wall and moved into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. The package was still in his hands. He debated opening it now but that seemed impolite, somehow. He didn’t really want someone else knowing what was in there. So far the gifts had all been safe, but that didn’t guarantee that they’d always be. The quotes had gotten more and more explicit with each new present. He expected the presents to eventually take the same turn and he didn’t want to open something like that in front of someone.

Unless Kakashi was the one who’d sent him the gifts….

Iruka shook his head, dispelling that thought as a possibility. There was no way Kakashi liked him. They barely knew each other. Still, he couldn’t think of any other reason why Kakashi would be in his living room.

“You should open it.”

Iruka jumped as Kakashi’s voice sounded from the doorway. He turned quickly, blushing as he stared at the jounin. “W-what?”

Kakashi pointed towards the package in Iruka’s hands.

“Oh.” He glanced down at the package and then over at the jounin. “Umm… why are you here?”

Kakashi just smiled at him, his one visible eye half-closing. “Curiosity.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The kettle started to whistle and he set the package down to pull out a teabag and teacup.

“Do you like tea?”

He half turned to look at the jounin. Kakashi had sounded curious, almost interested.

“Yeah.” He opened the cabinet to show off the assortment of boxes inside. “I like trying out different flavors.” He pointed to a greenish tin, the one that he’d just pulled a teabag out of. “I’ve been on a bit of a berry kick recently. This one’s a Blackberry Sage mix. It’s quite good. Are you sure you don’t want a cup?”

Kakashi shook his head.

Iruka set his cup aside to steep and picked up the package. Kakashi watched him as he pulled the tie loose, dropping the string on the counter before he slipped his fingers into the sides of the paper. There was something orange underneath. The shape of it seemed familiar. Slowly, Iruka pulled the paper away to reveal a small orange book.

He felt his face flush with embarrassment the minute he recognized the cover. Iruka looked at the jounin in shock. “You… you…” He wasn’t sure if he should be appalled or excited. The latest gift was none other than the first volume of the famous Icha Icha series. He’d recognized the cover from seeing it in bookshops and from the many times he’d seen Kakashi reading it in public.

Suddenly it all made sense. He flipped the book open and read the first line.

Love comes in springtime, blooming across the countryside and in the hearts of the young. Shigetsu first met Mimi in such a spring, and his desire for her knew no bounds. The very sight of her sent his blood…

He snapped the book closed quickly.

Kakashi shifted closer. “You don’t like it? They’re very good, I can assure you, but if that’s not your liking, I could suggest a few other titles. There’s the Rose Gang series if you’re more into the strictly male pairings.”

Iruka shifted away slightly, but he didn’t have far that he could go. His back pressed against the counter. “I… I don’t really read that sort of…”

The jounin moved until he was directly in front of Iruka. He looked up as Kakashi’s arms came around him, lightly pulling the book from his fingers. “You should. I find they make great stress relief.” He pulled the book from Iruka’s grasp and flipped it open. “In this volume, I think page 114 is my favorite.” He turned the book so that the text was in front of Iruka.

Iruka could feel his blush spreading all the way to his ears. He averted his eyes and pushed Kakashi’s hand to the side. “T-that’s okay. I’ll pass for now.” His fingers lingered on Kakashi’s arm. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been this close to the jounin before.

“Are you sure?”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kakashi flip the book closed, setting it on the counter next to Iruka’s forgotten cup of tea.

He nodded and couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact again.

Kakashi leaned forward, tilting his head until his mouth was level with Iruka’s ear. “It’s a wonderful scene.” He shivered as Kakashi’s breath ghosted over his ear. “The heroine, Mimi, has just given in to the hero’s, Shigetsu’s year long pursuit.”

Something warm and wet traced along the edge of his ear, making Iruka squeak embarrassingly. He could feel Kakashi’s lips moving against his ear.

“There’s a drawn out scene where Shigetsu undresses her. He’s very… devoted.”

One of Kakashi’s hands slipped under the hem of Iruka’s shirt to press flat against his stomach. Kakashi’s palm felt cool against his suddenly flushed skin. He bit his lower lip to hold back a moan.

“But it’s not until page 114 that they get to the heart of it. You see, that’s the scene where they’re both finally in bed, with Shigetsu pressed on top of Mimi. He’s kissing her breasts, whispering how much he loves her against her skin as he enters her, sliding his hot, hard erection deep inside of her.”

Kakashi’s lips moved down Iruka’s neck as the jounin spoke, teasing against his skin. Iruka’s breath hitched. His pulse was racing in anticipation but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He was frozen in suspense, hypnotized by Kakashi’s words. Kakashi’s other hand brushed against Iruka’s thigh, moving backwards and around until it cupped Iruka’s ass and squeezed once, lightly. Kakashi shifted forward, pressing against Iruka’s front, trapping him between the jounin and the counter.

“But, if you’re not interested in reading about it, I could show you.”

Iruka looked up with wide eyes as Kakashi pulled away from his neck to look him in the eyes. It was hard to think with Kakashi pressed against him, the jounin’s husky voice still ringing in his ears. Kakashi’s hands were distracting him. The one in the front kept brushing against the edge of his pants, the tips of his fingers pushing under the waistband but not going any further down, while the hand on his ass kept squeezing, his fingers digging in lightly, rhythmically groping Iruka’s ass. He stared at the pale expanse of Kakashi’s chin, bared naked for him, his mask pulled away to hang loose around Kakashi’s neck.

It took Iruka all of two seconds to think of an answer.

“I’d like that.”

A grin spread across Kakashi’s face. He leaned forward to capture Iruka’s lips. Iruka opened his mouth, letting Kakashi’s tongue invade. He was not surprised to learn that Kakashi was a good kisser. In seconds, he had Iruka moaning against Kakashi’s lips, though he attributed at least part of that to the hands that had shifted around to cup both cheeks of his ass, pressing him forward against Kakashi. Evidence of the jounin’s interest pressed against him. Iruka wrapped his arms around the jounin’s shoulders and lifted one of his legs to hook around Kakashi’s waist.

Kakashi moaned his approval, pulling away momentarily to softly bite Iruka’s lower lip, drawing a similar moan from the chuunin. His hand slipped down to support Iruka’s leg under the knee. Kakashi rocked his hips forward into Iruka, causing him to moan once more against Kakashi’s lips. The jounin’s other hand slid down, encouraging Iruka to bring his other leg up.

Iruka shifted, carefully balancing his weight before he let Kakashi pull his leg up. The jounin supported his weight easily, his hands moving back down to press against Iruka’s ass, holding him close so that Kakashi could grind against him. The stimulation was almost too much for him. Iruka gasped, tightening his arms around Kakashi’s shoulders as he tried to press as tightly as he could against the jounin.

“Kakashi…” Iruka moaned. He wasn’t quite sure how much longer he could hold out against the onslaught of Kakashi’s attention and there were other things he’d hoped they’d get to before the night was over. “…bed?”

Kakashi’s teeth bit lightly against Iruka’s neck, just below his ear. He took that for an affirmative answer as Kakashi stepped away from the counter. Their hips rubbed together with every step, driving Iruka half mad with sensation. He bit his arm to muffle the long moan that threatened to escape his lips, using the slight pain to keep him away from the edge.

The stairs were maddening. Iruka squeaked with each step and panted against Kakashi’s shoulder.

“I should carry you around like this more often, sensei,” Kakashi teased. He sucked on Iruka’s neck, hard enough to leave a mark.

Relief washed over Iruka as his back hit the mattress of his bed. Kakashi pulled away slightly to stare down at him with a lecherous grin. He brushed his fingers over Iruka’s cheek reverently before slipping his hand back to pull the tie loose from Iruka’s hair and remove his forehead protector. Brown strands of hair fanned across the covers around his head.

“Do you know how Mimi and Shigetsu start out in the book?” Kakashi asked him softly. Both of his hands rested against Iruka’s stomach.

Iruka blushed and shook his head.

“Shigetsu started by removing Mimi’s top.”

A hand at the small of his back lifted him until his was half sitting up, his legs still around Kakashi’s waist. Iruka’s vest was stripped away and dropped carefully to the floor near the edge of the bed. Kakashi’s hands slid under his shirt, rubbing against his sides for a brief moment before he hooked his thumb under the edge of the fabric and slowly pushed up, pealing it off of Iruka.

“Did Mimi return the favor?” Iruka blushed as he asked the question.

Kakashi smiled softly down at him. “She did.”

Tentatively, Iruka reached forward to slide Kakashi’s vest from his shoulders. Kakashi helpfully raised his arms as Iruka pushed the jounin’s shirt up and off of him, revealing a wide expanse of pale, muscular skin. He let his hands roam across the jounin’s chest, slightly fascinated by the feel of Kakashi’s muscles. He’d never realized before just how strong Kakashi was. He’d carried Iruka like he weighed nothing. Iruka had to admit that having that kind of power directed towards him was more than a bit of a turn on.

Kakashi licked his lips after a moment and pulled Iruka’s hands away. He pushed forward, guiding Iruka back onto the bed. “Next, he kissed her, letting his lips trail over the mounds of her breasts and mapping a path down towards her sex.” Kakashi put his words into action and started kissing a trail from Iruka’s collarbone down his chest.

“I don’t think-”

His words were cut off as Kakashi’s teeth scraped over a nipple. He gasped as Kakashi bit down, involuntarily arching up against Kakashi’s mouth. Fingernails scraped over the other half of his chest. He moaned loudly as Kakashi’s teeth and fingers toyed with his nipples, Kakashi’s mouth switching back and forth between either side of his chest.

“Kakashi,” Iruka gasped. He buried his fingers in Kakashi’s hair and tugged, trying to pull Kakashi’s mouth away. “Stop. Ah! I’m…” He was too close. He was going to explode soon if Kakashi didn’t stop.

Kakashi chuckled slightly but he moved away, continuing his progression down Iruka’s chest and over his stomach. Deft fingers unbuttoned Iruka’s pants, quickly sliding the zipper down. He let his legs fall from around Kakashi’s waist and lifted his hips so that the jounin could pull his pants off. Kakashi’s mouth paused over his bellybutton. Iruka screamed and almost came as Kakashi’s tongue dipped into the hollow of Iruka’s bellybutton, his tongue circling the flesh before brushing over his bellybutton.

“Kakashi.”

The jounin’s mouth moved further down. Iruka could guess where he was heading. This was going to end too soon.

“Kakashi, don’t. I can’t… I’m going to…”

Kakashi ignored him. Iruka jumped as thin fingers circled the base of his erection, squeezing the base of his erection to keep him from coming. He gasped as the jounin’s tongue ran over the slit in Iruka’s erection, licking up the precum that had gathered there. Iruka’s hands fisted in the covers. One of Kakashi’s arms pressed against his hips, keeping him still against the bed as Kakashi licked up and down the length of Iruka’s erection.

Iruka’s attention narrowed to a single point. All he could focus on was Kakashi’s mouth as it tormented him, making him writhe in pleasure while Kakashi’s hand kept up the pressure around the base of Iruka’s cock, holding him back from release. He wanted to come. He desperately wanted to come, but he didn’t want it to end. Needy sounds fell from his lips but he was too lost in emotion to care how embarrassing they sounded.

Then Kakashi’s lips closed around his erection, swallowing him down. Kakashi’s hand let go and suddenly Iruka was coming, screaming Kakashi’s name as he emptied his seed into the jounin’s mouth. His vision went white and he lost all sense of the world around him for a brief moment.

When he came back to his senses, Kakashi was grinning down at him and licking his lips. “I hope you don’t think we’re done yet, sensei.”

Iruka whimpered and spread his legs wider. Kakashi’s eyes burned with desire as he stared down at him.

“What happens next?” Iruka asked, his voice on the verge of breathlessness.

Kakashi grinned. He ran his fingers over Iruka’s lips, his eyes intent. Iruka parted his lips slightly and let his tongue dart out to moisten the digits. Kakashi watched him with blatant lust.

“Mimi returned the favor.”

Iruka placed one hand on Kakashi’s chest, pushing the jounin backwards as he slid towards the edge of the bed. One of Kakashi’s hands slipped into his pocket, palming something and dropping it on the table next to Iruka’s bed. Iruka dropped to his knees and reached forward to undo Kakashi’s pants. The fabric pooled around the jounin’s ankles. Iruka was moving forward before it even hit the floor. He held Kakashi’s erection in one hand as he guided it to his lips. He didn’t pause, just opened his mouth and swallowed the jounin down until the tip of his erection brushed the back of his throat.

He moaned as the taste of Kakashi filled his mouth. Both of Kakashi’s hands twisted in his hair, lightly holding on to the back of Iruka’s head. He pulled back slowly, drawing back until only the tip of Kakashi’s erection remained in his mouth and then running his tongue over the head, circling it and flicking against the head. Above him, a deep moan fell from Kakashi’s lips. Iruka moved slowly, savoring the feeling of Kakashi inside his mouth as he bobbed his head, sucking on the salty flesh.

Kakashi didn’t let him go for long. After a few brief minutes, the fingers tightened in his hair, pulling Iruka off with a loud, wet pop. Iruka panted slightly, using the moment to refill his lungs with air. The jounin’s hands hooked under Iruka’s armpits, pulling him to his feet and turning him until he was face down on the bed. Iruka spread his legs. His hands gripped the covers as a slick finger pressed into him and he groaned wantonly.

“Shigetsu pressed his fingers inside of Mimi’s opening, stroking her to her second orgasm before he let himself enter her.”

Iruka shivered and tried to protest. “Don’t… Kakashi, I want you inside of me. Plea-”

His words were cut off as Kakashi’s finger pressed against his prostate. Iruka gasped and bucked, rubbing his slowly renewing erection against the side of the bed. A second finger, then a third joined the first inside of him, stretching him open as the fingers played inside of him. Kakashi rubbed his fingers against Iruka’s prostate, pressing against the hard nub of flesh over and over again until Iruka was quivering against the bed.

“Come on,” Kakashi crooned. “Come for me, Iruka. Show me how much you like it.”

Two more fingers pressed into him and he screamed again, coming hard into the covers.

His legs gave out but Kakashi caught him, turning him and sliding him up on the bed until his head rested on the pillows. Iruka could only watch in growing anticipation as Kakashi crawled forward. His erection bobbed as he moved, drawing Iruka’s attention down to it. He licked his lips, remembering how it had tasted and wishing that Kakashi had let Iruka suck him to completion.

Kakashi’s hands pushed under Iruka’s knees, drawing Iruka’s legs up over Kakashi’s shoulders. He shivered as Kakashi lined up, moaning in anticipation. The head of Kakashi’s erection pressed against him but he stopped there.

“Finally, Shigetsu enters Mimi, taking his pleasure in her open body.”

Iruka arched against Kakashi as he pushed in. His senses were drawn raw and over sensitized from pleasure, making him shiver with each new touch. Kakashi was watching him again, his eyes intent on Iruka’s face as he slowly started to move. Iruka’s lips were parted, letting out each breath as a needy gasp. He forgot about his embarrassment as he reached up, pulling Kakashi down for a kiss.

His breath hitched as Kakashi kept his hands on Iruka’s legs as he leaned forward, forcing Iruka’s knees up towards his ears. Kakashi’s tongue pushed inside of Iruka’s mouth, sliding against Iruka’s in a mirror of the movement of his erection inside of Iruka. Their new position forced Kakashi in deeper. Iruka trembled and dug his fingers into Kakashi’s shoulders.

Kakashi broke their kiss after a moment and leaned back. His hands moved to grip Iruka around the waist as he slowly increased the pace of his hips into a pounding rhythm. Iruka pressed his forearms against the headboard as the force of Kakashi’s thrusts slid them up the bed and used the slight bit of leverage offered to press back into Kakashi.

“Tell me,” Kakashi gasped suddenly. “Tell me how it feels.”

Iruka groaned. He could feel his eyes starting to roll back in his head as he lost himself in pleasure.

“So good,” he gasped. “I want you so much. Need you. Need you in me.”

“I want you too,” Kakashi panted.

“Please,” Iruka moaned. “Ah. God. Please. Come in me. Please. Need you to come.”

Kakashi groaned loudly and slammed forward one last time, smacking Iruka’s forearms against the headboard. He came, shooting hot seed inside of Iruka and not stopping, not slowing down his thrusts until it was spilling out of Iruka, running down his legs.

Iruka’s arms came up to wrap around Kakashi as the jounin collapsed on top of him. The sound of their labored breathing filled the room for several minutes until Kakashi stirred enough to move. Iruka winced slightly as Kakashi pulled out of him. He was going to be sore in the morning, but it was well worth it.

“Thank you for the gifts.”

Kakashi smiled softly down at him. “You’re welcome. Have I convinced you yet to give Icha Icha a try?”

Iruka returned the jounin’s smile and ran a hand through Kakashi’s hair. He leaned up to kiss the jounin passionately before answering. “I think I prefer having them read to me.”

The grin Kakashi turned on him was positively wicked. “That can be arranged. I think you might like the scene on page 229, where Shigetsu and Mimi visit the hot springs.”

Iruka laughed and tightened his arms around the jounin. He had a feeling his life was about to get a lot more interesting.

Nov 26 2009

New Writing Resources Section

I’ve recently developed an obsession with reading writing blogs, so in the spirit of sharing, I’ve added a new section to my site with all of the blogs, articles, and Twitter users that I’ve found particularly informative. There’s advice on writing in general, as well as information on life after publishing and on how to attract and work with agents. I’ll update as I come across more articles (which has been fairly frequent).

Writing Resources

Nov 24 2009

After Hours

The office was quiet. Someone had left a cup of coffee on his desk at some point. It was cold now. He’d taken two sips from it and then forgotten about it, drowning himself in the words on the page and the soft scratch of pen against paper. He only noticed the passage of time by the dwindling noise in the office, each of the voices that usually formed the background noise of his day slowly receding until he was left in silence.

He kept reading, turning the pages of the manuscript face down in a pile next to him. Occasionally he would write on one of the pages, jotting a quick note in the margins or circling a piece of text that needed changed. All in all, it was a good book. There were a few changes that would need to be made, but it was a solid piece of work. It was engaging, it drew the reader in. With proper editing, the book would be a best-seller.

The door opened, the sound only barely registering at the edge of his senses. He turned the page. Footsteps echoed against the tile. He scribbled a note in the margin at the top of the page. The scene needed expanded to provide more detail. He turned the page. The footsteps came to a halt behind his chair.

Ryuuichirou craned his neck up, wincing as his neck muscles protested the movement after being bowed over the manuscript for so long. Asahina stared down at him, his expression blank.

“Do you know what time it is?” Asahina did not sound happy.

Ryuuichirou blinked up at him. He turned to glance at the clock on his desk but stopped halfway, wincing as a spike of pain shot through his neck. Warm hands settled on his neck and he closed his eyes instinctively. Asahina’s fingers dug into his skin, slightly painful at first but the pain receded as Asahina expertly loosened the knots of tension that had formed in his neck. He let himself relax into the touch. After spending so much time being in love with Asahina and thinking his love unrequited, he found himself savoring every moment that Asahina touched him.

The low moan that escaped his lips surprised both of them.

Asahina’s hands froze and Ryuuichirou felt himself blushing all the way to his ears. He wasn’t sure what he should do – if he should move or apologize or say something to alleviate the sudden tension between them.

As usual, Asahina was a step ahead of him. His hands started to move again, rubbing his fingers deeper into Ryuuichirou’s skin. Ryuuichirou gasped slightly and bit his lip, but it merely muffled his next moan instead silencing it. The fingers moved down, rubbing circles against his spine and then sliding out to squeeze the muscles in his shoulders. He shivered. His head fell forward against his chest, baring his entire neck to Asahina’s ministrations. He could feel his body turning boneless, but that wasn’t the only reaction. Noises kept falling from his lips, soft, needy sounds that would have been embarrassing if there was anyone else in the office.

He wanted to see what Asahina’s hands could do over the rest of his body. He wanted to stand up and bend himself over his desk and beg Asahina to take him. He wanted to drop to his knees and take Asahina into his mouth, sucking until the taste of him washed away the lingering remnants of the coffee he hand drank earlier.

The door opened suddenly and Asahina pulled away, pretending to busy himself straightening up Ryuuichirou’s desk. Ryuuichirou dropped the manuscript he’d been reading into his lap, using it to cover the erection that had slowly been building all through the impromptu massage. He kept his head down, hoping that his hair hid the fact that he was blushing uncontrollably.

“I think it’s a sign that you need to clean up more often, Isaka-san, if the president has to send his secretary down to tame your desk,” one of the editors joked as he passed by.

Ryuuichirou didn’t move. He listened as the man rooted around in his desk, opening and closing drawers before finally walking away.

“Good night, Isaka-san, Asahina-san.”

Asahina murmured a goodbye for the two of them.

As soon as the door closed, Ryuuichirou let his head fall on to his desk, thudding dully against the wood.

“Perhaps we should go home, Ryuuichirou-sama?”

He nodded against the desk. “Yeah. Yeah, we should.”

He stuck a post-it note between the pages of the manuscript to mark his place and clipped it back together. He left it on top of his desk along with his pen and turned off his laptop. After a few minutes, he finally gathered up the courage to look up at Asahina. The secretary was smiling fondly at him. He felt himself smiling back.

The ride home was quiet. Asahina drove, Ryuuichirou stared out the car window. His thoughts kept drifting back to Asahina’s hands on his neck, ensuring that his blush never fully went away. As soon as they were home, he linked his fingers with Asahina’s and pulled them towards his bedroom. Asahina let him.

Once the door was closed as they were safely in private, Ryuuichirou turned, still blushing, and stretched up on his toes to kiss Asahina. The other man’s mouth opened easily for his own, letting Ryuuichirou explore for a few minutes before he pushed Ryuuichirou back to his feet and took control of the kiss. Asahina’s hands pulled his shirt free from his pants and slipped underneath. His fingers dug into Ryuuichirou’s lower back, making him break the kiss so that he could gasp for air. He let his head fall against Asahina’s shoulder and didn’t bother to hide his moans.

Asahina’s hands pulled away after a minute to quickly divest Ryuuichirou of his clothing. Ryuuichirou followed slower behind, his fingers still working on the buttons of Asahina’s shirt while Asahina was undoing his pants. Asahina guided them towards the bed and turned Ryuuichirou until he was lying face down on the covers. He spread his legs hopefully as Asahina settled behind him on the mattress but Asahina reached for the bedside table instead, opening the drawer and pulling out a bottle of lotion.

Ryuuichirou gasped loudly as a cold trail of liquid poured down his spine. He opened his mouth to complain but then Asahina’s hands followed the trail of lotion from this tailbone up to his neck, gathering the lotion into his hands. Another moan echoed through the room as Asahina massaged his shoulders, repeating the motions from before but they felt more intimate this time without clothing in the way.

The hands moved down, pressing hard against his spine and then back up to rub circles into his back. Asahina’s hands worked magic against his skin. Ryuuichirou melted against the sheets, slowly being reduced to a quivering mass of jelly by the hands running over him. He lost track of how many times he moaned, not caring how he sounded as Asahina’s hands played against his skin, creating an orchestra of breathless gasps and low moans and needy whimpers. His hands gripped the sheets above his head and he fidgeted, growing more and more desperate for a different kind of touch.

Fingers pressed into the small of his back, spending several minutes working out the tension there before sliding down to squeeze Ryuuichirou’s ass. He cried out and trembled. Asahina’s hands held him down, keeping him from thrusting against the covers to get some sort of relief.

“Please,” he moaned. “Kaoru, please.”

The fingers continued to tease him until he was panting against the pillow.

“Please. Please. I need you, Kaoru. Please, fuck me. Please. Can’t wait.”

The fingers slid down, pressing a finger from each hand into his opening and pulling slightly, stretching him open. He sobbed into the pillow and begged for more. Another finger slid in, then another. They moved inside of him, repeating the same circular motion that Asahina had used down his back. He held onto the pillow like it was his lifeline and panted loudly.

Asahina’s fingers rubbed over his prostate and he screamed, bucking his hips up into Asahina’s touch, forcing the fingers deeper inside of him. He felt himself teetering on the edge.

“Ka… Kaoru… please… gonna come… s-stop… need you… inside…”

The fingers didn’t pull away. They pressed against his prostate again. He bit his lip to keep from coming.

“Ah! No! Kaoru… want you… inside me… when I come… please… ple-”

His words were cut off as Asahina pushed two more fingers inside and circled his fingers over Ryuuichirou’s prostate. He came against the sheets, shouting Kaoru’s name. The fingers pulled out, giving him a momentary respite to breath. It didn’t last long. Hands settled on his hips and then Asahina was pushing inside of him, filling the space his fingers had just vacated.

Ryuuichirou whimpered but he lifted his hips, pressing back into Asahina’s thrust. They stayed like that, joined together, Asahina’s hips pressed tight against Ryuuichirou’s ass, for a long moment before Asahina finally moved. It was too much after the recent onslaught of Asahina’s hands. He felt everything. His nerves were afire with sensation. Each touch, each thrust, each press of flesh on flesh was magnified, bringing him more pleasure than it ever had before. The massage had left him boneless but this undid all of that, winding him into one giant knot of tension, too wrapped up in pleasure to think of anything but the feeling of Asahina inside of him.

Asahina started out slow, dragging his cock inside of Ryuuichirou in a relentless slide. He gradually sped up. Ryuuichirou’s hips were lifted and Asahina’s hands guided him up onto his knees until he was kneeling on the bed, face against the pillows, ass in the air. Asahina adjusted his hips and sped up, increasing his pace until he was thrusting forward hard, pounding into Ryuuichirou. It was times like this that he liked the best, when Asahina took him roughly, cock buried deep inside and fucking him hard enough that he’d still feel it in the morning.

The soreness was just one more tie that bound him to Asahina.

A hand reached between his legs to stroke his erection. He tried to protest, tried to say that he couldn’t come any more but no words came out. His body apparently disagreed. He felt himself hardening under Asahina’s touch. His body was trained that way, trained to do what Asahina wanted, trained to respond for Asahina. He whimpered into the pillow as he felt himself building towards another release.

Asahina thrust hard inside of him and he came undone, screaming into the pillow as he came a second time. The world spun and went black momentarily. When he came too, he was lying flat on the bed. His thighs were wet and he felt boneless. He didn’t ever want to move again.

“Are you alright, Ryuuichirou-sama?”

He blinked towards the voice and nodded his head slowly. There was a faint chuckle towards the edge of the bed. He heard Asahina walk away, then return. Cold, wet fabric pressed against his skin, feeling too rough against his over-stimulated flesh. He whimpered slightly and then the fabric was gone.

Asahina rolled, then lifted him, laughing softly as Ryuuichirou curled against him. He was tucked under the covers. Asahina slid in behind him, turning off the light before pressing himself tight against Ryuuichirou’s back.

He was asleep as soon as Asahina’s arms settled around him.

Nov 22 2009

The Heist

Florian felt ridiculous. He couldn’t seem to stop blushing every time someone looked at him, which seemed to be happening constantly since he and Ray had first walked into the ballroom. Ray had his own little circle of attention, off on the other side of the room, but that was fine for him considering Ray wasn’t the one who had been forced to wear a dress.

He really hated it when Ray did this, which is probably why it happened so damn often.

The dress swished around his feet as he crossed the room towards the refreshments tables, the skirt filled with far more hoops and layers than he liked, but at least it kept people from staring at his ass like when Ray had made him wear the skin-tight red number on their last heist. He mentally groaned at the fact that he was actually willingly helping Noir steal something, but a quarter of the value of the item would be subtracted from his debt, which was really all the incentive he needed to put on women’s clothing.

It didn’t, however, make him complain or protest any less.

He blamed Laila for the fact that he could not-quite-stalk across the crowded dance floor in high heels with perfect balance. He blamed both Laila and Ray for the number of heads that turned as he slipped between dancers and clusters of people talking. Logically, he knew that the pair had conspired to turn him into a rather fetching imitation of a women, but he couldn’t quite mentally connect himself in drag with something that men would want to lust after. Well, men other than Ray, but he was a special case that lusted after Florian no matter what he wore. He wondered how another man could look at Florian and not realize that he wasn’t a woman.

“Pardon, milady.” Florian blushed as an arm encircled his waist, halting his progress across the room and forcing him to turn.

Shock ran through him as he turned to face Count Laurien, the host of tonight’s ball and owner of the Taviere Collection, Noir’s current target. A piece from the collection currently hung from the count’s neck. The blue jewel set in the center of the necklace complemented the count’s suit, seeming as if it had been made specifically for the man to wear this night.

“H-hello,” Florian offered nervously, almost certain that the count would notice the masculine timbre to his voice.

If the count thought anything was off with Florian’s demeanor, he didn’t show it. He smiled widely and raked his eyes over Florian’s form in a less than subtle move. Florian felt his face heat further at the intimate attention. Laurien’s eyes seemed to linger on his corset-enhanced waist before travelling up over fake breasts to finally reach his eyes once more.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.”

He smiled slightly, hoping the man would mistake his nerves for shyness. “Lady Amelia d’Meria.” He extended a gloved hand.

The count bowed over his hand and pressed his lips to the top of Florian’s glove. The arm around his waist slid as the count moved, brushing low over Florian’s hips, barely on the good side of propriety. Laurien’s lips lingered longer than necessary.

“Don’t tell me a beauty such as yourself is here alone?”

He shook his head and glanced in Ray’s direction. The thief wasn’t even looking in Florian’s direction. He had his back half-turned as he spoke to a man in a brown suit.

“I came with my cousin, Count Ray Balzac Courland. He’s been kind enough to show me around town during my brief visit.”

The count’s expression soured briefly when Florian mentioned Ray, though the expression passed quick enough that he wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been looking for it. Apparently Ray’s reputation had preceded them here. The count pasted a smile on his face.

“Are you in town for long?”

He glanced again towards Ray but the man was oblivious to the fact that he should be rescuing Florian. “Only until tomorrow.” He smiled back at Laurien, trying his best to look pretty and daft and not at all like someone who was helping a notorious thief steal the count’s prized jewel collection.

“Pity.” Laurien’s hand pressed against his hip, his fingers curling almost possessively. It was the kind of touch that Florian usually associated with Ray. “Well, then I suppose we should make the best of the time while you’re here. Tell me, are you a fan of art?”

Florian smiled weakly. He had a bad feeling about this but it would be impolite to try to leave. “I am.”

Laurien’s smile widened. “I have quite the collection. May I show you?”

His eyes wandered back to where Ray was still talking, still oblivious. “I’d love to,” he lied.

The count’s arm settled like a chain around his waist, leading him from the ballroom and down a long hall lined with framed pieces of art. True to his word, Laurien did have a rather impressive collection of art. Absently, he wondered if Noir knew about it. If he didn’t, Florian wasn’t going to mention it. The last thing he wanted was to give Noir an excuse to come back.

They moved slowly. Every so often the count would stop before a particular piece and explain its significance. Florian would normally find such talk fascinating, but he was distracted, trying to think of ways to get away from the count. His presence was starting to unnerve Florian, made worse by the empty halls and their constant progress deeper into the mansion.

After a flight of stairs and another hall lined with art, Florian was starting to get suspicious. The wing that they’d wandered into was silent, the sound of the party faded beyond hearing.

“The best of the collection is in here.” Count Laurien opened half of a set of double doors. The room inside was too dark to make out much beyond the faint outlines of furniture.

Florian smiled nervously and stepped inside. The count followed, shutting the door behind them and briefly dropping them both into complete darkness. There was a faint click, then another and suddenly the room brightened. A small wick lantern sat on a table by the door, casting the room in amber hues. The light didn’t reach the opposite walls but it covered enough for Florian to realize that they weren’t in a gallery.

He turned towards the door and reached for the handle. “I think-”

Laurien’s lips cut him off. He squeaked in surprise and tensed as two arms came around his waist, pulling his body tight against the count’s. Blindly, he groped behind him for the door handle. His fingers found it and twisted but the handle didn’t give. After a moment, the count pulled away.

“I’m afraid that’s locked.” His smile turned somewhat predatory and then he was leaning in again to kiss a path down Florian’s neck.

Fear coursed through Florian’s body, freezing him in place, too terrified to even try to run.

“S-stop.”

Laurien laughed against his neck. His teeth bit down lightly on the side of Florian’s neck. A hand slid down to spread over Florian’s ass, groping him through his skirts. He gasped slightly and shivered. Memories of Azura and his opium flashed through Florian’s mind. Fear and desperation mixed, giving him the strength to finally move.

He lifted one shaky hand up to Count Laurien’s chest and tried to push them apart. The count’s grip was stronger, keeping them together despite Florian’s increasing struggles. Laurien made an annoyed sound against Florian’s neck and finally stopped. He pulled back slightly and glared. His hands caught both of Florian’s, holding them tightly.

“I suggest you play nicely or I will be forced to act in accordance with your disobedience.” All pretence of civility dropped from Laurien’s voice, leaving a hard edge of annoyance.

Florian spat in his face.

The answering slap was almost expected. Florian fell, landing on one of the couches scattered around the room. His ears rung. Distantly, he heard the sounds of a belt buckle being loosened and then the count was grapping Florian’s hands, first one, then the other, wrapping his leather belt around and between them. He fastened the buckle over Florian’s joined wrists, pulling the leather painfully tight.

Florian screamed. Maybe, if he was lucky, one of the servants or patrons would be able to hear him and come rescue him. That was, of course, assuming that rape wasn’t a regular occurrence at the Laurien household and that the servants wouldn’t just turn a blind eye towards it. He was also assuming that there was actually someone within hearing distance.

“Stop that,” Laurien commanded angrily.

Florian didn’t and tried to push off of the couch but Laurien held him down with one hand on the small of Florian’s back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Laurien loosening his tie and then the fabric was being slid between his lips and tied behind his head, muffling his screams. The count pulled him to his feet and moved them until Florian was draped over the arm of the couch, his face pressed against the cushions, his legs dangling in the air. He tried to kick at the man but his legs moved feebly and Laurien caught his legs each time before he could connect.

His skirts were flipped up to fall heavily against his back. There were hands on his legs, tracing up and down his smooth thighs and pushing them slightly apart. Fingers hooked under the edges of the panties Ray had insisted he wear, pulling the fabric down. He blushed in embarrassment as he heard the count gasp in surprise.

“Well, that is certainly unexpected.”

Curious fingers ran underneath his balls and pressed against his entrance. He felt tears form at the edge of his eyes and tried desperately to shift away, but Laurien gripped him tightly by the hips, keeping him from moving.

“What a rare find indeed,” Laurien murmured. “Does your cousin know he’s hosting a cross-dresser?”

Florian whimpered against the gag and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as tears started to fall. Not again. This was like Azura all over again. Ray wasn’t going to be able to save him, not until it was too late. Fingers pressed against his entrance, slowly sliding inside. It hurt. It was too much, too fast and there was no lube, nothing to ease the relentless slide of flesh against flesh. He screamed into the gag, the sound slowly dissolving into a series of sobs.

He wanted Ray. He needed Ray to come save him. Ray didn’t hurt him, not anymore. Ray was safe. Ray protected him, except this time, like with Azura, he failed. Laurien was going to rape him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

One of the inner doors opened suddenly. Laurien froze, his fingers still inside of Florian. They both looked up at the masked man who stepped into the room. He had a gun in his hand which he kept pointed straight at Laurien.

“You will let him go now,” Noir commanded.

Florian winced as Laurien’s fingers slid out of him. The count took a step back.

“Untie him.”

He felt fingers in his hair and then the gag fell away, exposing the sound of his sobs to the room. Tears still ran down his cheeks but he couldn’t stop them. Laurien stepped around the couch and unbuckled the belt around his arms. It hit the floor with a loud thunk.

Florian stood quickly. He kept his eyes down, not looking at either of them as he pulled the panties back into place and resettled his skirts.

“You.” He knew Noir was addressing him. He didn’t look up. “Take the jewel from around the count’s throat.”

He froze in terror and wanted to shake his head, to tell Noir that he couldn’t do it, that he couldn’t go near the man that had been seconds away from raping him. Somehow he forced his body to move. He trembled uncontrollably as he stepped around the count. It took three tries to undo the clasp of the necklace. As soon as the jewel settled in his hand, he backed away, towards Noir.

“Give that to me.”

He handed the jewel to Noir without looking.

“You can leave now.”

Florian glanced over uncertainly but Noir just nodded towards the door. The hand holding the gun trained on Laurien never wavered.

“I-” His voice broke. He tried again. “It’s locked.”

Noir lifted an eyebrow and stared at Laurien. “The key?”

Laurien reached in his pocket and pulled a large metal key from his pocket. He held it out, his eyes focused angrily on Florian.

“No. Throw it towards the door.”

It landed on the carpet two feet from the door. Florian edged slowly around the room, keeping as far from Laurien as possible. As soon as he was near the doors, he scrambled for the key. His hands shook as he tried to unlock the doors, rattling the key against the lock until it finally clicked open. He pulled the door open and ran.

Florian only vaguely remembered the way back. He let the sounds of revelry guide him until he was back in the hall full of art. It was once more thankfully empty. He stopped by an ornate mirror to check his reflection. He twisted his dress back into place, smoothing out the wrinkles as best he could and then running a hand through his hair. There was still an edge of dishevelment to his appearance but there was little he could do about that.

He froze with his hand on the door handle. On the other side of the wood, he could hear the musicians playing, people chatting happily, oblivious of what had happened. Fear made his stomach clench and he suddenly wondered if any of them would know when they looked at him. Would he see pity in the servants’ eyes because they knew what their master did to pretty ladies behind locked doors? Would the women frown at him, thinking him at fault for letting himself get caught? Would the men snicker and eye him, hoping that they would be the next to despoil him?

Minutes passed while he stood, so close to freedom but too scared to cross the crowded hall of people to get there.

“Aren’t you going?”

Florian jumped and turned in surprise to stare at Ray. He felt himself start to shake once more, tears threatening. “I can’t.”

Ray’s fingers brushed the tears away before they could fall. He looked at Florian with open sympathy and let his hand slide down Florian’s back to rest against his waist. “It’ll be okay,” he said softly. “I’m here. Just hold yourself together a little longer and we can leave.”

He nodded but didn’t move. Ray’s fingers closed over his own, pulling his hand away from the door. He positioned himself securely against Florian’s side, wrapping his arm around Florian. Ray opened the door. The sounds of the ballroom flooded Florian’s senses, leaving him momentarily disoriented.

Florian knew they were moving but he was barely conscious of where they were going. A few times they stopped and he heard Ray murmur excuses but his voice sounded far away. He told them that Florian was sick, that all the excitement and the rich food had gone to her head and that he was taking her home to rest.

Cool air washed over him and he realized belatedly that they were outside. There was a carriage waiting at the bottom of the steps. Laila’s smile disappeared as she saw them but she said nothing as Ray helped Florian into the carriage. The door shut behind them, cutting off the outside world. The carriage jerked into movement, jarring Florian out of his haze and releasing all the emotion he’d kept bottled up.

He turned to Ray, twisting his hands into the fabric of the thief’s coat as he started to sob once more. There was a brief pause before Ray’s hands came around him, running soothingly along his back. Ray pressed his head against Florian’s and whispered nonsense at him, speaking low and softly in an effort to calm him.

His sobs had wound down by the time the carriage finally came to a stop. The door was flung open before Ray even had a chance to move.

“What the hell happened in there?” Laila demanded, her face twisted in anger.

A shudder ran through Florian and he started to cry again.

Ray sighed but didn’t let go. “I’ll explain later. Have someone run a hot bath in my chambers.” He pulled a small sack from underneath his coat and tossed it at Laila. “Find a secure place for these.”

He heard Laila move away. Ray’s hand stilled on his back.

“Think you can make it inside?”

He swallowed another sob and nodded shakily. Reluctantly, he started to pull away.

Ray stayed by his side the entire time. He helped Florian out of the carriage and kept his arm around him as they walked. He could feel the servants of the household watching him as they moved towards Ray’s bedroom, but they were all sensitive enough to know not to ask questions. He briefly heard Noel’s voice before one of the others distracted the boy, leading him away.

Some of the tension left him as they stepped into Ray’s bedroom. The suite was comforting, familiar, an extension of the safety Ray offered. They were alone in the rooms, and thus there was no one but Ray to see his tears as the thief gently stripped the dress off of Florian. The clothing was discarded in a pile by the door, along with Ray’s own.

Ray stepped into the tub first, holding Florian steady while he shakily lifted his legs over the edge of the tub. They sank down until the water lapped at their chests. He half turned, wrapping his arms around Ray’s shoulders and burying his face in Ray’s neck.

A warm, wet cloth ran over his body, starting with his chest and shoulders and then working its way down. Ray pulled Florian’s legs forward, one at a time, until he could wash both, cleaning away Laurien’s touch. Florian whimpered but didn’t move away as fingers pressed against his entrance. Unlike when Laurien had touched him, they were wet and slick, sliding easily into his body. Ray cleaned him there too, touching softly, too light to arouse but enough to take the edge off his fear and make him melt against Ray’s chest.

His legs felt weak when Ray finally moved them out of the tub. He leaned limply against Ray as the other man dried them off, never straying far from Ray’s touch. Ray helped him under the covers and slid in to join him.

They were both naked still and he didn’t mind when Ray’s hands moved against his skin, touching him with familiarity, pressing against all the points that Ray knew would drive him wild. His fear receded but didn’t vanish entirely under the pleasant haze of lust that Ray was purposefully inducing in him. He spread his legs eagerly, suddenly needing Ray inside of him, removing the last remnants of Laurien’s touch. Gentle fingers pressed into him, moving slowly, carefully, first one, then a second, then a third. All the while, Ray watched him, his eyes sharp, looking for any sign that Laurien had injured him.

He knew where Laurien had injured him, and it wasn’t a place that Ray could touch. The new wound settled beside the ones Azura had left and he knew the nightmares would be coming back.

“I’m sorry,” Ray whispered. His lips brushed over Florian’s lips in a caste kiss and then moved away to press against his chin, his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead.

The kisses unwound the last of his tension and he relaxed against the bed. He raised his arms to hold onto Ray, pulling the thief close while he lifted his legs, crossing his ankles behind Ray’s back in obvious invitation. Ray’s hand pulled away, sliding up to hold his hips steady as he pressed forward. Florian moaned as Ray entered him. Sex with Ray had been weird at first, uncomfortable and vaguely painful, but those times had faded away until he wanted it as much as Ray did. He arched his back, pushing himself up against Ray and forcing the thief a little bit deeper inside of him.

Ray’s mouth moved back to his lips and he kissed him for real this time, sliding his tongue into Florian’s mouth to kiss him deeply while his hips started to move. He moaned as Ray pushed inside of him, rolling his hips with each thrust, constantly shifting his angle until he found the spot he was looking for. Florian gasped, bucking his hips as Ray thrust against his prostate.

He was wound too tight to last long. He came in an embarrassingly short amount of time, moaning Ray’s name as he came onto both of their chests. Ray didn’t stop and Florian didn’t want to. He held on, wrapping himself tighter around Ray’s naked body and shivering with pleasure as Ray continued to fuck him. Ray’s lips had moved on to wander over Florian’s neck. He bit down suddenly, right over the spot where Laurien had bit him earlier, but harder than the count had. Ray’s bite was going to leave a mark. It felt somehow right that way.

Ray pulled back slowly, still within the loose grip of Florian’s arms, but far enough back that he could look down into Florian’s flushed face. Florian’s mouth was open, letting lose a lurid stream of moans and whimpers as Ray continued to run his hands over Florian’s over-sensitized body, driving him to distraction with pleasure. He kept his eyes on Ray, knowing that the thief liked to watch him while he came. Two more hard thrusts and then Ray was spilling his seed inside of Florian.

They stayed entangled on the sheets for a long time, until Ray reluctantly pulled away so that he could clean the come off of their bodies. Florian shivered and felt a momentary pang of loss as Ray pulled out of him. He debated asking Ray if they could go again, but his body was already starting to drift. He barely noticed as Ray’s hands moved his limbs enough for a cool cloth to wipe the seed from his skin.

Then Ray was back and turning off the lights. Florian closed his eyes before the last of the lights went off, waiting until he felt Ray settle beside him and then rolling until he lay half on top of the younger man. Ray’s arms came around him, holding him close. Florian drifted to sleep, hoping that Ray’s presence and the safety of his arms would be enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

Nov 22 2009

Discipline

He didn’t belong here, stuck in a dusty backroom with dirty sheets and no windows. Edward Elric was meant for fine halls and well-lit parlors. He was used to being surrounded by opulence and luxury and people who fought to please him. He was used to servants and grand balls and being on first name basis with royalty. It wasn’t that he had a particular fondness for that sort of living, he actually found it rather tiresome, but it was the life he’d been born into. There were no refunds.

The door to his small prison opened and he sat up quickly, eyes narrowing as he recognized his visitor.

Colonel Mustang stared down his nose at Ed. He shut the door firmly and knocked twice on the wood. The sound of the lock sliding into place on the other side of the door echoed through the room.

“Are you ready to cooperate?” The colonel asked smoothly.

Edward glared up at his captor. “No.”

Wood scraped across the floor as Mustang dragged a chair over towards Edward’s bed. He crossed his legs after he’d sat down and gave Edward a contemplative look. If Ed’s hands were free, he would have punched the smug look off the bastard’s face.

“You do know that you’re not getting out of here until you help us?”

He’d been moved by the militia’s plight to a point, but he couldn’t fully bring himself to believe what they were saying. He didn’t want to believe it, because the repercussions would break him. If what they said were true, then Ed had been kept in the dark about a lot of wrongdoing and he didn’t want to think that his family was capable of what they described.

But, there was still the niggling doubt of what if. Colonel Mustang’s arguments had been compelling, and taken out of context, Ed could even bring himself to agree with their cause somewhat, but his pride as an Elric and anger over the fact that they’d dared to kidnap him kept him from giving in. People who were in the right shouldn’t stoop to kidnapping and coercion. A small part of his brain argued that it was necessary, that there wouldn’t have been any other way to get to him.

If they’d sent in anyone other than this smug bastard to deal with him, he probably would have caved by now.

“I’m not going to betray my father.” Even if what Mustang had told him was true, and his father was possibly a bigger bastard than Mustang, at least he respected Ed and been kind to him, if distant. Admittedly, it was hard for his father to do anything to annoy Ed when he was hardly ever home, but at least Hohenheim respected Ed’s work and praised him for his genius.

Mustang sighed and leaned back in his chair. They’d been through the same argument countless times before and kept rehashing it over and over again, every time they met. He knew what the colonel was going to say next.

“Your father is a bad man.” Ed mockingly echoed Mustang’s words as he said them, earning a sharp glare.

“Like you’re any better?” Ed snorted, going off script because he was tired of hearing the same argument repeated. He was going stir-crazy trapped in this small room, not allowed outside or, worse, not allowed to build anything. His mind was filling with ideas that he wanted to put in practice, but he wasn’t allowed to do anything but think. “At least my father doesn’t kidnap people.”

The colonel coolly raised an eyebrow. “He has. Several of my people – some informants, some financial supports – have been taken from their homes. I imagine they’re faring far worse that you are, assuming they’re still alive. Your father probably had them tortured for information or threatened to have their families tortured.”

Ed felt his resolve wavering, not for the first time. He held his anger before him like a shield. It was all he had left. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I can bring some of their families in to talk to you if you’d like. Maybe you’d be more sympathetic to a child crying about how the evil Lord Hohenheim has stolen her daddy away.”

He shifted on the mattress and told himself that he was just adjusting his arms. They ached from being tied behind his back for hours on end.

Mustang leaned forward in his chair. His eyes focused intently on Edward. “Your father tortures his enemies. He’s a cruel man, obsessed with power and control and owning the biggest guns and the best weapons.”

Edward swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. He’d designed those weapons for his father, and much more. He’d made a lot of things but he’d thought… he’d been told that his inventions were being used to help people. The thought that something he’d made was being used that way… he couldn’t allow himself to believe it, not if he wanted to stay sane.

“You’re lying,” he said again. His voice sounded weak, even to his own ears.

Mustang’s temper snapped. “It’s true!” He grabbed Ed by the shirt collar and pulled, sending the blonde boy tumbling off the bed. He landed half-sprawled over Mustang’s knee. “You’re a blind idiot if you can’t see what’s going on under your nose.”

A shiver ran through Ed’s body. Mustang had never touched him before, never gotten this angry. No one had ever yelled at him like that before. It was a wholly new and terrifying experience. “I-”

His words were cut off as a hand landed hard against his ass. He squeaked and then flushed in embarrassment.

“Shut up!”

A hand twisted in the back of his shirt, pulling him until he was dangling over Mustang’s lap. His head hung over the edge of the chair, his long braid brushing the floor.

“Let me-”

Another sharp slap cut him off. He bit his lip before he could squeak again but some of the sound still made it past his lips. Hands rolled him slightly. He felt hands on the fastenings of his pants and panicked. Mustang grabbed onto his braid and pulled tightly, forcing Ed to arch backwards with a gasp.

“You will hold still.”

Mustang’s tone cut straight through him. He found himself obeying Mustang’s command despite his rising fears. His pants and underwear were pulled down, left tangled loosely around his ankles. The hands repositioned him until he was face down once more, bare ass exposed to the chill air. He trembled in Mustang’s lap.

“You are a willful, insolent brat…”

Mustang punctuated his words with a hard slap on Ed’s right ass cheek. It stung in a strange way. He wasn’t used to pain, particularly not like this.

“But we need you and that fucking brain of yours…”

Another slap, on the other cheek this time. He bit his lip to keep from whimpering. Humiliation and embarrassment ran through his body, making him flush.

“And we need your inventions…”

Mustang was wearing gloves. Leather gloves. They made a hard sound as they hit Ed’s flesh.

“And ways to get around your inventions…”

He couldn’t hold back a faint cry as Mustang hit him again. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He wasn’t going to give in, no matter what Mustang did to him, not matter how much he wanted to.

“And you’re going to help us…”

No one had ever spanked him before. None of his caretakers had ever dared to raise a hand against him or his brother, and his parents hadn’t been around to administer discipline. Ed had never really been the type to act up, never done anything that truly deserved being punished.

Until now. Until he built machines that he thought were going to save humanity and make people’s lives better, but were really just there to destroy and tear down. It was cruel irony. He should have seen it. It was his fault for not seeing it, for being too focused on the glory of inventing to realize what his father was doing.

“Because if you don’t, we’re all going to die…”

Ed felt his resolve shatter, and with it his control. He only half-swallowed the sob that broke through him as Mustang hit him again.

Mustang’s tirade seemed to be over because he stopped talking. His hand continued to fall, smacking leather against his bare skin. It hurt. The pain got worse each time as Mustang hit the same spots again and again. He didn’t stop, just kept hitting Ed with the same methodical rhythm.

He couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They ran down his face, dripping from his nose to splatter against the concrete floor. He sobbed loudly, uncontrollably, as Mustang’s hand continued to fall. It didn’t make Mustang stop.

The room fell away, losing importance in Edward’s consciousness. Everything else faded, leaving only the steady beat of Mustang’s hand and his own broken cries. His body shook, trembling against Mustang’s lap. He’d never felt like this before. No one had ever made him feel like this before, and in that strangeness he felt a bond growing, tying him to Mustang more solidly than any rope or chain could. In the midst of the pain, he noticed something else. There was a fire pooling in his belly, growing stronger with each hit. Underneath the pain and the humiliation he felt something else – pleasure.

Edward blushed as he realized how his body was reacting. He could feel himself getting hard. Soon, the colonel would notice and he didn’t think he could live through that.

“S-s-stop.” He squirmed, trying to get away, but his feet couldn’t find purchase.

One of Mustang’s hands grabbed him by the arms, pressing his chest against Mustang’s lap. They both froze. Ed realized suddenly that he wasn’t the only one who’d had a physical reaction to the spanking.

Mustang’s hand let go. Quickly, Ed rolled to the side. His shoulder hit the concrete hard but he ignored it and curled his legs in towards his chest, trying to hide as much of his body as possible. He couldn’t stop crying now that he’d started. The physical pain wasn’t even that bad any more, fading from a sharp sting to a constant ache, but there was more hurt in him than what Mustang had caused. He felt as if his very soul had been ripped apart, shredded by the truth Mustang had shown him.

He felt fingers skim along his hair and curled in tighter. “D-don’t,” he sobbed. He couldn’t bear the colonel’s kindness, not on top of everything else.

The hands didn’t go away. They ran down his arms to the rope binding his arms together. Mustang tugged at the rope, freeing Edward. He whimpered as blood flowed back into his arms, though he knew half the pain was only in his head. There was no blood in his robotic arm, but it still pained him as if it were real. His limbs moved woodenly. He raised his prosthetic arm over his head protectively, and the other reached blindly for his pants. His hand shook too badly to get a hold on the fabric.

One of Mustang’s hands caught his around the wrist. He moved Edward’s hand back towards his chest and released him. A naked palm ran over Ed’s bare thigh, running back and forth over the joint where his leg turned from flesh to covered steel.

He flinched and whimpered softly. He didn’t want this. He didn’t deserve kindness.

The hand ran gently across his skin, almost soothing.

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Ed didn’t dignify the question with a response.

The hand moved forward, curling over Edward’s hip and settling along the length of his erection. He jerked in surprise and caught Mustang’s wrist. Fingers brushed along his erection, sending a shiver through Ed’s body. The hand started to move, slowly, closing its fingers around his erection and stroking. Ed’s hand stayed on Mustang’s wrist but he didn’t try to push it away.

“It’s okay.” Mustang’s voice sounded close to his ear. He felt lips brush against his neck. “Shh.”

His tears wouldn’t stop.

Mustang’s hand pulled away. He let it go. He had a brief moment where he both feared and hoped that Mustang might go away. Instead, hands turned him, rolling him so that he faced Mustang again and lifting him up onto Mustang’s lap. The colonel had undone his own pants and his erection stood up proudly. It was thicker than Ed’s and slightly longer. He briefly wondered what it would feel like inside of him and then shoved that thought out of his brain.

He was slid forward until his knees were on either side of Mustang’s own. Ed wrapped his arms around the colonel and buried his face in the colonel’s shirt. The fabric soaked up his tears and muffled his continued sobs. It felt good to be pressed against the colonel, better than it had any right to be, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. A hand ran over his ass, making him wince in pain and jerk his hips forward. His erection bumped against Mustang’s. He hissed again, and this time pain had nothing to do with it.

The hand came back, wrapping around his erection and pressing it against the hot length of Mustang’s cock. He moaned into Mustang’s shoulder. A hand on his lower back held him in place, fingers splayed flat against his skin, underneath his shirt, not moving, just holding. It felt strangely comforting, almost protective – two emotions that he’d never before associated with the colonel.

His hips gradually started to move in time with Mustang’s hand. The colonel was saying something, speaking softly, but his words were lost as Ed’s sobs slowly faded away, replaced by a low series of gasps and pants. The pleasure was almost too much, riding so close behind the recent pain that same hand had given him. Even with Mustang holding him like this, being gentle, he couldn’t stop crying. His hands fisted in the back of Mustang’s shirt. He pressed himself against the colonel.

The hand on his lower back slid down, brushing against the hand prints on his ass and pressing between his cheeks. A finger pressed against his entrance. Ed squirmed slightly in embarrassment, and then the finger moved, pressing slowly, relentlessly inside. He came with a loud gasp.

He felt dirty and sticky and embarrassed, and far too boneless from release to care about any of those things. Mustang’s hand moved away to pull a handkerchief from his pocket. Ed didn’t move, not when Mustang pulled both of their pants back up or lifted Ed back onto the bed or pulled the blankets up to tuck Ed in. The colonel looked down at him with a mixture of sadness and loss and pressed a kiss against Ed’s forehead. His hands brushed the tears from Ed’s cheeks. No more came out to replace them.

“I’m sorry.” Mustang’s voice sounded pained.

The colonel turned to walk away. For a brief second, he had the strange feeling that the colonel wasn’t going to visit him again.

Ed’s hand shot out, grabbing Mustang by the sleeve. He half-turned back. Ed kept his gaze fixed on the floor, belatedly realizing that his eyes had settled on a spot near Mustang’s chair. There were small circles of moisture left there from his tears. They were slowly fading as he watched.

“I’ll help you.”

He glanced up, finally daring to look at the colonel. A smile stretched across Mustang’s face, unlike any of the other smiles he’d seen before. There was no trace of the colonel’s smugness, none of his wry humor. It looked slightly sad.

“Thank you.”

He let go of the colonel’s sleeve. Mustang knocked on the door, three times, a pause, then once more. He turned to look back at Ed again, but didn’t say anything as he walked out the door. It shut behind him but didn’t lock.

Edward let out a slow sigh and closed his eyes. He doubted he was going to get any sleep tonight. His mind buzzed with thoughts – his father, his inventions, his colonel. He had a lot of things to think about, a lot to plan.

His ass still hurt, serving as a reminder of what he’d just done.

He felt free.

Nov 21 2009

Night Out

“Come on,” Axel whined, rubbing his body against Roxas’s.

“No!” He tried to push Axel off but he was like an octopus, more limbs than he knew what to do with and all of them rubbing against some portion of Roxas’s anatomy.

“Pleeeaaase,” Axel whined. His hands slid the zipper of Roxas’s coat up until his pants were exposed and started playing with the button on his fly. “I’ll be good. Real good.” He dropped to his knees and licked his lips, turning a hopeful gaze up at Roxas. “Please?”

He turned towards the entrance of the alleyway and debated. Someone was going to see them, not likely someone they knew because they were off-world and no other Organization members were supposed to be on this planet, but that hadn’t stopped any of the other Organization members from showing up before. They had a habit of popping in at the least opportune times.

Axel was pulling down the zipper of his pants and mouthing him through his underwear.

There was no way Axel was going to make it back to base like this. Roxas would have to listen to him all the way, and then the others would know, definitively, that they were about to have sex because Axel couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.

Eager hands pulled Roxas’s penis from his pants. Warm lips closed over the tip, and then a wet mouth was sliding down, swallowing him in one go.

Sometimes, he rather liked it when Axel didn’t keep his mouth shut.

He twisted his fingers in Axel’s hair, pulling until his grip was bordering on painful. Axel moaned around his cock. The vibrations shot straight up Roxas’s spine and he hissed in pleasure.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “But make it quick.”

Axel’s mouth made a loud, wet pop as he pulled back. “Fuck me? Please?”

He rolled his eyes to hide how much Axel’s begging affected him. His erection was still in Axel’s hands, so he had a feeling the other man knew.

“I don’t have any lube.”

“I do.” Axel dropped his coat from his shoulders and rummaged in his pocket before letting the fabric fall to the ground. Roxas cringed at the thought of what kind of liquids and refuse the coat was likely lying in.

The redhead turned to face the brick wall behind them and dropped his pants, letting them pool around his ankles. He ripped open a small packet and squirted the entire packet into his hand before tossing the empty packet aside. It landed next to his coat.

Roxas didn’t bother hiding his interest as Axel steadied himself with one hand on the wall while the other reached back to push lube-slick fingers inside of himself. Axel moaned, his head falling forward slightly, his long hair obscuring his face. His long fingers slid in and out of him, moving in a quick, harsh rhythm that left him panting loudly. After a minute, Axel pulled his fingers out and reached blindly behind him.

He grabbed Axel’s wrist and guided it where the redhead wanted it to go. Axel’s fingers closed around his erection, sliding his palm around it to coat it with lube.

He didn’t let Axel touch him for long before he pushed the hand away, guiding it forward to press flat against the wall. Less lube was better when Axel was like this. He knew what the redhead wanted. There was enough between them that sex wouldn’t injure Axel, but he’d still feel it for a while, still be sore the entire way home and afterwards. More than anything else, that kind of pain was what Axel was looking for when he begged Roxas for sex.

Axel’s hips felt fragile in his hands, too thin, too boney. They made Roxas regret, almost, what he was about to do. He didn’t like hurting people, not without reason, but that was what Axel wanted. It wasn’t real pain then, not the bad kind. Still, he couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to break Axel, to do real damage. For all his bluster and bravado, he was just a skinny guy with a big mouth.

Roxas shoved forward quickly, moving before he had time to think it through or talk himself out of it. There was no sign of warning that gave Axel time to prepare himself as he was entered roughly. He rocked forward, his head almost touching the wall but his arms tensed at the last second. Axel leaned forward, resting his forehead against the brick and letting out a loud, low moan.

“Please,” he whispered.

He started off slow, moving closer to the rhythm he liked, almost gentle. Axel whined low in his throat. His fingers curled against the wall.

“Please.” He whimpered as Roxas sped up, pushing forward with more force. “Please.”

As much as he disliked purposefully hurting Axel, he loved how it felt. Axel was tight around him. There hadn’t been time to properly loosen him up. Each thrust probably felt like it was burning inside of Axel, stretching him wide and forcing him to open up to Roxas’s invading flesh. He knew from experience, and from the constant litany of sounds that Axel made, that Axel was enjoying it. His flesh clamped around Roxas, squeezing him tight until he had to bite his lower lip to keep from coming too soon.

“Please, please, please, please.” Axel was gasping for air, his face pressed against the wall, eyes closed in bliss.

Roxas tightened his grip on Axel’s hips and pulled Axel back into his thrusts, pounding as hard as he could. His hips slapped against Axel’s hips, the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoing through the alleyway. Axel’s voice rose in pitch. He sounded frantic, desperate. He was close. All it would take was a touch to set him off. Roxas pried one hand off his hip and started to reach forward.

There was a flash of light at the entrance to the alleyway. Roxas turned but couldn’t quite make his hips stop. A large, portly man with rolled up sleeves and dirty boots stood staring at them, his cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, lighter forgotten in his hand. His surprise turned to hatred.

“Faggots,” he spat the word out with his cigarette, grinding the lit end out beneath his boot. He started to turn.

Axel rolled his head and glared. His eyes sparked seconds before his hand shot out, sending a sharp ring of flaming metal straight at the man. The stranger screamed and fled. Axel’s chuckle was cut off by a moan as Roxas smacked their hips together. His eye closed again, his hand returning to the wall.

“Guess I was…” He let out a throaty moan. “…too flaming… for him.”

Roxas didn’t bother to respond. He closed his hand around Axel’s erection and jacked quickly. Axel came a second after he touched him, shouting loudly as his seed splattered against the wall. Some of it fell on his pants and coat. He knew Axel wasn’t going to care. Axel kept moaning as Roxas continued to thrust for another minute before he let himself go. He came inside of Axel, not making any sound other than a soft sign as he finally finished. His hips kept pumping forward for a few more seconds, making his seed spill out and start to run in thin rivulets down Axel’s thighs.

He stepped back and pulled a tissue from his pocket, wiping himself off then tossing the tissue in a dumpster. He offered a tissue to Axel. The redhead waved him off with a grin and started to pull his pants up.

Roxas raised an eyebrow and fixed his pants. “That can’t be comfortable.”

Axel grinned back at him and bent to pick up his coat. The black fabric hid most of the stains, but there were a few discolored spots faintly visible on the fabric. “That’s the point.”

He shook his head but knew better than to argue.