“Troy, what’s that?” Connor glared suspiciously at the package sitting on the counter. Whenever Troy ordered something by mail the results were normally either horrifying or terribly embarrassing. They also usually ended with Connor naked and draped over some piece of furniture, but he’d never admit actually enjoying the strange purchases to Troy. He didn’t need encouragement.

“A present.” The smile that split Troy’s face was enough to give Connor shivers. He knew he was just digging himself deeper but he had to ask.

“For who?”

“You.” Troy handed him the box, positively radiating glee.

With a groan and a carefully repressed sense of anticipation, Connor opened the box to reveal… the most horrendous looking pieces of fabric he’d ever seen. With a glare, Connor turned to wave the gray pants at Troy, the little smilie faces on the pants bouncing happily in his fist. “There’s no way in hell I’m wearing these!”

His outburst only made Troy grin wider. “Did you even read them?”

Connor’s eyes narrowed as he took a closer look at the horrible pants, his face flushing as he read. Cheesy 50′s logos surrounded the smilies with sayings like “Mr. Happy’s place. Get your happy on!” and “Happy eats, service with a smile”.

The connotations of the sayings were just too much. He felt himself turning red with embarrassment and tried to pass it off as anger. “Troy, I don’t even want to know where you found these, but you’re returning them.”

“Aww… but they suit you so well.”

The glare Connor shot Troy could have felled a rhinoceros. “My ass is not a diner!”

“But it’s my favorite place to eat. Or at least the front is. Though I guess it’s more like fast food, open 24-7 with a great drive through.”

A loud shriek filled the room as a wad of fabric hit Troy in the face. The door to the bedroom slammed behind him and he swore Troy wasn’t getting sex for a full week. Or at the very least the next hour. Drive through, his ass.